Wedding Dress Disaster...my brand new dress isn't NEW

Knottie1467763794

CMGragain

Knottie1467763794 said:

Back in November, I visited a very reputable dress shop in the ATLANTA metro area with my family. I drove 5 hrs for the trip and my mother almost 10. We received excellent service...red carpet treatment really. 
I was on cloud 200 after we found the perfect dress for my Gatsby themed wedding. 
We purchased the dress and were told the dress would be made over seas and it would be back in several months- most likely May or June. 
The months come slowly and I finally called them and checked status the 1st week in June to be told the dress was on a ship in transit. I was then told the dress would arrive in a week and sure enough a week later the call came and the dress was ready. 
I reminded them I lived several hours away and that I'd schedule a visit and get back to them. 
Long story short I arrive a few weeks later on July 1 and was rushed through an initial try on I believe because I'd elected not to do the alterations in store and I was in and out of the store in less than 20 min or so. They packed the dress up and after pleasantries walked me out of the store...and put the dress in my car and I stored my dress at MOG's home for the holiday weekend out of sight and then drove home the 5 hrs a few days later. 
Mind you I haven't closely examined the dress yet until I get home. I wash my hands and open the bag and am startled to see visible oil/ dirt stains on the zipper, the designer label on the inside has dirt on it, as I unzipped the dress to look closer I see peach colored makeup along the inside of the dress beneath the waist, something sticky and glittery in the tulle and hair that isn't the length or texture of my own. I freak out.. call the dress shop get no answer. Didn't receive a returned call or apology and they are trying to say I ruined my own wedding dress!!! I'm now 3 weeks behind in alterations... and they have offered to replace the dress and make me drive back to ATLANTA for alterations if I want them. 
I'm hurt, feel like my wedding is ruined and my character is being called into question. The store vehemently denies anything bad happened to my dress and despite the appearance I wasn't given a used wedding dress instead of the glorious new gown I was expecting.. 

Given the situation- what would you do? 
Signed, 
Bride to be with broken dreams

I am sorry this happened to you, but you accepted delivery of your dress without carefully inspecting it.  You then stored it at your FMIL's house.  The store may rightly question why you did not contact them immediately.  How do you know some person didn't try your dress on "just for fun" when it was out of your possession?  This can happen.  Also, there are unscrupulous people who buy a dress, wear it, and then try to return it.  I used to work retail, and I have seen this happen!

They have offered to replace your dress, which is going to cost them.  They have offered to do alterations.  I think you had better accept their offer, and be glad they didn't tell you that since you had taken possession of the dress weeks ago, there was nothing they could do.

As for the long drive to Atlanta, you chose to buy from a store that was far away from your home.  I am sorry that this will be inconvenient, but the store has offered to try to help you.  What more do you want?

climbingsingle

Ok, your wedding is not ruined. Your dreams haven't been shattered. I honestly think you are overreacting. The shop has offered to replace your dress, and do alterations there. Accept their offer. 

Let this be a lesson to all future brides - inspect every inch of your dress before you accept delivery of it! 

Knottie1467763794

@CMGragain
i literally can't really argue with anything you said because your responses are all rational and legitimate arguments. 
I too back in the day worked in dress retail as well and I know how this goes so believe me I get it. 
Still doesn't feel any less wrong with the wedding being less than 43 days away. 
My question posed to the forum was what would you do? 
If nothing else this is cautionary for newly engaged women..

I didnt know I asked for bride shaming... come on. 
Thanks for your thoughts though. 

Knottie1467763794

@climbingwife
with all due respect you can't really tell me how I should feel in the situation because it's currently happening to me and not you. You don't know me, or what I've been through to get here. 
You just sound mean... 
a realist but mean and right now that isn't helpful either sooooo...

at the end of the day you didn't really answer the question. 
The only helpful contribution to the discussion is that BRIDES WHEN YOU GET TO THE DRESS SHOP, literally look over every single solitary inch of your wedding dress/gown INSIDE and OUT! 
Put a pause on the dress euphoria and use your eyes and head not your heart. 

Be blessed... 

Knottie1467763794

Im attempting to remove the post... I didn't post it to argue. Just wanted to see if any one had any experience with this and get another viewpoint. 

It doesn't at any point change my personal feelings or diminish my feelings in any way. 

climbingsingle

Knottie1467763794 said:

@climbingwife
with all due respect you can't really tell me how I should feel in the situation because it's currently happening to me and not you. You don't know me, or what I've been through to get here. 
You just sound mean... 
a realist but mean and right now that isn't helpful either sooooo...

at the end of the day you didn't really answer the question. 
The only helpful contribution to the discussion is that BRIDES WHEN YOU GET TO THE DRESS SHOP, literally look over every single solitary inch of your wedding dress/gown INSIDE and OUT! 
Put a pause on the dress euphoria and use your eyes and head not your heart. 

Be blessed... 

@Knottie1467763794
You're right - I don't know you. But you posted here saying your wedding is ruined. As someone that already wedding planned and has been married for almost 3 years, I'm telling you that your wedding is not ruined. We've had posters here that have had their parents pass away right before their wedding. There was a poster whose then FI was in an accident and lost a limb, almost losing his life. So, in reality, a used wedding dress that the shop has agreed to replace is not something that has ruined your wedding. I'm sorry but you need a reality check. 

I absolutely did answer your question.  I said to take the shop up on their offer. Let them replace the dress and do the alterations. 

climbingwife said:

Ok, your wedding is not ruined. Your dreams haven't been shattered. I honestly think you are overreacting. The shop has offered to replace your dress, and do alterations there. Accept their offer. 

Let this be a lesson to all future brides - inspect every inch of your dress before you accept delivery of it! 

See the bolded? That's where I answered your question. 

banana468

Knottie1467763794 said:

Im attempting to remove the post... I didn't post it to argue. Just wanted to see if any one had any experience with this and get another viewpoint. 

It doesn't at any point change my personal feelings or diminish my feelings in any way. 

It's considered improper etiquette here to remove your post.   

PLEASE take a big breath and understand that the people who have responded are married.   They can look back at their wedding days and tell you what really mattered. 

Can you wear the dress?  Is it stained on the outside beyond anything that can be treated?    What would you do if those stains showed up because someone spilled coffee on you on the morning of your wedding day?  

Look at the good side - you didn't see these in the shop.    That means that to most people, they aren't going to see the stains.

For now, you need to figure out the best way to handle the situation but I can tell you I wouldn't part with that dress for a new one until the new one was in hand and inspected. 

Knottie1467763794

@banana468
i can agree with and respect your response. 
Listen, I've never done this before and hope to never do it again. 
Thanks for politely attempting to put this in perspective and give me advice. 

I appreciate you. 

Knottie1467763794

You don't know me well enough to issue a reality check lady.. you're just a rude and emboldened woman behind a keyboard. 
Im not irrational and no I was not thinking of the heartbreaking issues some people have come here to share. My circumstances pale in comparison true enough and I get what you're saying but the delivery of your message sucked to be frank. Not helpful at all... 

DrillSergeantCat

Oh FFS. Calm down. Banana did answer your question. You're acting like your dress is ruined and the shop told you to take a long walk off a short pier. They didn't. They offered to replace it. So your alterations are pushed back. So what? This isn't as big a deal as you're thinking it is. Dresses get altered close to weddings all the time! My own dress was only picked up from alterations 3 days before my wedding. Take a deep breath, drink a margarita, and have a cupcake. It's going to be okay.

ILoveBeachMusic

DrillSergeantCat said:

Oh FFS. Calm down. Banana did answer your question. You're acting like your dress is ruined and the shop told you to take a long walk off a short pier. They didn't. They offered to replace it. So your alterations are pushed back. So what? This isn't as big a deal as you're thinking it is. Dresses get altered close to weddings all the time! My own dress was only picked up from alterations 3 days before my wedding. Take a deep breath, drink a margarita, and have a cupcake. It's going to be okay.

DD's was picked up the day before her wedding DSC and she survived!

OP, you were given an answer. Yes you have the right to feel however you feel, but in the long run your wedding day won't be ruined. I agree with PPs' advice on taking the store up on their offer.

climbingsingle

Knottie1467763794 said:

You don't know me well enough to issue a reality check lady.. you're just a rude and emboldened woman behind a keyboard. 
Im not irrational and no I was not thinking of the heartbreaking issues some people have come here to share. My circumstances pale in comparison true enough and I get what you're saying but the delivery of your message sucked to be frank. Not helpful at all... 

I was in no way rude to you. I was direct, and offered you advice. I can't help if you decide to read a tone into my words. And yes, you are in need of a reality check. In the grand scheme of things, this is not a disaster. Again, take it from someone that's been married 3 years now - this has not ruined your wedding. Get a grip! 

Knottie1467763794

@DrillSergeantCat I wasn't talking to banana!!!! Everyone chill 

Knottie1467763794

The above response was too @climbingwife and nobody else!!!! 
I thanked everyone else for the discussion, IM OK! 
I was only trying to talk this out with ladies who've been there, get advice that would help me sort this out. 

Knottie1467763794

@DrillSergeantCat
thank you for your intervention attempt lol and response as well. 
I better not eat any cupcakes though girl...  but WINE YES please! 

Knottie1467763794

No, I'm clear you're rude. It's all good though... 
congrats on 3 yrs of marriage. 

banana468

Knottie1467763794 said:

No, I'm clear you're rude. It's all good though... 
congrats on 3 yrs of marriage. 

Here's a tip:  The Knot's reply function is poop.   If you want your response to be clear that it's to someone who has posted, hit quote and then it's crystal clear.  

I've been married for nearly a decade.   I remember pre wedding stress - so do all the other people who comment.   

Now's the time to be thankful your'e over 21.  It's summer time.   Drink a margarita. 

Knottie1467763794

banana468 said:

Knottie1467763794 said:

No, I'm clear you're rude. It's all good though... 
congrats on 3 yrs of marriage. 

Here's a tip:  The Knot's reply function is poop.   If you want your response to be clear that it's to someone who has posted, hit quote and then it's crystal clear.  

I've been married for nearly a decade.   I remember pre wedding stress - so do all the other people who comment.   

Now's the time to be thankful your'e over 21.  It's summer time.   Drink a margarita. 

@banana468
you ma'am are a gem.. 
thanks for tutorial as I was clearly lost a goose as it pertains to posts on here. 
I'm definitely going to need a drink! 
We're hard at work trying to make this work because after all is said and done I DO need my dress. 
Thanks again for the kind words and understanding your wisdom and that of the other ladies is appreciated. 

flantastic

All we're missing here are the passive aggressive smileys. 

CMGragain

Look, I wore a used dress at my wedding.  It was all I could afford.  I spot cleaned it and made some repairs myself.  I was proud of that dress.  You don't need to do this because the shop has offered to replace and alter your dress.  Accept their offer and be glad nothing worse has happened.

ahoywedding

Yes it sucks you have to drive all the way back to the shop, but that's kind of the bed you made when you chose to look there. I know it's stressful, but this is far from the worst that could happen. 

Take them up on their offer. They're being very generous! FWIW, I got my dress back from alterations a week before the wedding, so you have plenty of time.

Knottie1467763794

ahoywedding said:

Yes it sucks you have to drive all the way back to the shop, but that's kind of the bed you made when you chose to look there. I know it's stressful, but this is far from the worst that could happen. 

Take them up on their offer. They're being very generous! FWIW, I got my dress back from alterations a week before the wedding, so you have plenty of time.

I am accepting the offer, the reason we chose to go that far out is because the area I currently live in doesn't have dress shops. The nearest places were an hour to 2 hours away I did my best-- Atlanta had multiple options. 
Boy do I have buyers remorse  lol 
Bed is definitely made.. definitely stressful. The alterations are going down to the wire but *sigh* it's done. I've got to figure out a way to make the best of this. 
I know things can be worse. The stories above definitely put things in perspective. 

Knottie1467763794

CMGragain said:

Look, I wore a used dress at my wedding.  It was all I could afford.  I spot cleaned it and made some repairs myself.  I was proud of that dress.  You don't need to do this because the shop has offered to replace and alter your dress.  Accept their offer and be glad nothing worse has happened.

I hear you loud and clear. 

artbyallie

I have to wonder exactly what response you were looking for given your reactions to quite reasonable answers. Oh, poor you, let me send you the dress fairy so everything will be fixed without you doing anything? Or, here, use my time machine to go back and inspect your dress at the shop?

I don't get it. You're presumably an adult. Your only options this point are to have the dress cleaned and altered locally and just wear it or take the shop's offer to replace and alter and deal with the inconvenience of driving back and forth to Atlanta. Or, I guess, somehow get another dress locally and eat the cost of the first one. I understand that all of these come with some level of frustration/annoyance, but that's life.

southernbelle0915

You are emotional. Your FI, friends and family are the right place to go for a shoulder to cry on.

The internet is a place you go to level-set your expectations, rationalize your thoughts, and for suggestions on solutions, which you have received.

I'm actually really surprised the shop is even offering to replace your dress and do the alterations. Picking up your dress is the time to inspect and point out any issues. Look, I'm not saying someone tried it on at your FMIL house, but it seems way more likely than you not even noticing make-up stains, glitter, and hair on your white wedding dressthe first time you try it on. The drive is inconvenient for sure, but the way I see it you have two options:

1) Take their offer
2) Decline their offer, pay to have the dress cleaned, and move on.

Your dreams are not broken because of a piece of clothing. Get yourself together. You're marrying the most important person in your life - THAT is what's important.

kaos16

Another option:  If you think it's too far of a trip to go back to Atlanta for a new dress and alterations, there is no harm in getting an estimate to clean the dress and asking the original store to cover that.  Worst case, they say no.