I no longer like my dress

Australian_girl_in_Paris

So I went and had my first fitting for my dress yesterday after the dress arriving a month and a half late. I think it's so boring. Don't know if anyone remembers my search for said dress - I tried on about 40 dresses and never really loved any, but, I thought this one was classic and beautiful and at least it had that. Having tried it on yesterday I think it's so pedestrian and boring. 
I know it's hard to judge with alterations needing to be done, but for me, they only need to hem it and drop the arm hole. So this is basically it. 

Also, I was also told when I ordered the dress that they had a system to attach the super long train - I now find out that they don't really have a system and the alteration seamstress was kind of bitchy when I said I didn't like it. I actually burst into tears and as I'm there crying her resting bitch face expression didn't move an inch. She seemed angry at me saying that I could go away and think of a system myself and tell her what I wanted - hello not my job! I also wanted the hem to be slightly longer I asked her about it as she was pinning the bottom but she seemed to say something about it being different once it's finished which seems iffy to me - don't you pin it to know how long it will be?

To compound it all - even if I wanted to go looking for something else it's too late. My wedding is in September but Paris closes for the month of August - most office close and lots of shops and businesses close for summer break. So there's nowhere I could go looking for anything else even if I wanted to.


So I'm asking did this happen to anyone else- did you hate your dress and was it fine in the end.

(Maybe just say yes to reassure me?)

missJeanLouise

I am sorry to hear about your disappointment. You can always dress up an outfit with jewelry and accessories so you have that going for you. I can almost promise you that when the day comes you will not care about your dress. I had some dress regret a few times but by the day came I could have worn a plastic bag and been over the moon. 

Do you have a long train you want attached? Or was it supposed to come with a long train but didn't? I am a little confused on this? Do you have pictures?

ILoveBeachMusic

DD didn't like her dress either. It really upset me because she was so unhappy with it. On the day of the wedding, with the hair, makeup, jewelry and veil she finally realized she looked like a bride and was beautiful. I really hope you have that same experience. Do you have jewelry and veil that you are going to wear? Try it on with all of that.

I too am confused about the train. Do you mean bustling it?

ernursej

I think plain is probably better than over the top for loving it long term. I would try and dress it up with jewelry and other accessories.

Can you get a second opinion on the alterations?

SP29

I think boring is an easy fix compared to something else (like the dress doesn't fit, or completely not your style). Try it on with the jewelry you plan to wear. If you still think it's boring, you can start adding to it. Perhaps a glittery belt? Go with bolder jewelry? A glitzy head piece? (Don't add all these things together, but one or two might give you more pizazz).

Can you show us a pic of your dress and maybe we can give suggestions?

marigold40

When your wedding day arrives, I'm sure you will fall in love with it again when you see it with your jewelry, makeup, hair, veil, etc. and remember the classic look of the dress. Plus you will be beaming in it as you marry your love.

Regarding the hem, if you wanted the hem to be longer, it's not really the seamstress' job to not give you that since you paid for the alteration. She can make suggestions, but ultimately it should be at the length you want. 

Regarding the super long train, it sounds like maybe you wanted a bustle to pin up the train during the reception so you can dance, I'm guessing. You made sure that was available when you purchased the dress and that's the seamstress' job to put in a bustle. I would seek a discount off the gown and complain to the shop manager/owner about the seamstress. If you are handy at sewing you can add a bustle yourself (or maybe a friend or relative that sews?) with a hook and eye or button/loop. True, you shouldn't have to do this yourself because that's why you hired the seamstress, but if you are short on time, the shop is closed next month, and the seamstress is not cooperating, this may be your only option so you can put your train up. Or maybe you can find a different seamstress that can do this for you? There are a lot of different kinds of bustles so I'm not sure which kind you were hoping for... the under bustle (also called a French bustle) doesn't show the hooks, loops, buttons, etc from the exterior of the dress in case you are worried about those showing. These 2 links may help you, but of course you can find a ton of tutorials online depending on the kind of bustle you want. 
https://youtu.be/k6nAxEdDS5c 

https://sewfordough.wordpress.com/2009/08/26/bustles-for-your-wedding-gown/

nicgetsknotted

Have you finalized your flowers yet? I picked a simple dress on purpose because I love very dramatic bouquets and I didn't want the whole look to be too busy. If you haven't picked your flowers maybe this is a chance to do something really bright, or a cascade bouquet.

Australian_girl_in_Paris

So the photos aren't great please forgive my wonky bun - the front has a piece of fabric pinned to it where they will put a small triangle of organza. Otherwise, it's a bit too plunging.

The back the train they proposed is that version you suggested marigold40 but I'm just not a big fan of it. I've seen before where they can do two of these, one on each side - it looks more part of the design as opposed to being a solution to a long dress if you get my drift. But because the dress is transparent muslin on the top of the skirt and only two panels, one on each side it's not possible because you would see the small hooks. It only works with lace because you can hide it behind or into a seam. It will have to be done as you showed because there isn't another possibility. Having said that - it looks better in that video and maybe I didn't like it because I was having to turn to see it and one's butt always looks big like that!

I would also say that I've cooled off a bit. It's fine everything will be fine and you should just never go to a dress fitting alone - it's too heightened an experience. You need a squad to tell you it looks great and to talk your stress down. I've chatted with my sister and a friend who both said they felt the same that it was so built up that when they actually were there it didn't sparkle quite as much as they had wanted.

I don't really want to add anything else to the dress - so it will match our minimalist (sort of) wedding but I am wearing a thing in my hair - I put a photo but mine it white gold. and the flowers are sort of like the last photo so I hope that will be dramatic enough and that we have a great day that I don't even notice.

Thank you all for your kind words it's been lovely 

Glasshalfempty

That looks amazing, and it will look amazing with the hair piece. It looks like a really soft elegant fabric, and a really nice cut to the dress as well. 

kaos16

Stop!  The dress looks amazing on you.  It really compliments your body shape.  I think that with hair and accessories it'll look beautiful!  Have you thought about a necklace at all?

Australian_girl_in_Paris

Thank you both. It's nice to hear sometimes that actually it's lovely and that it's going to be fine.

I'm possibly going to wear my star of david necklace but I'll have to take if off for the civil ceremony. 
I'm getting married in France where we live, and you can't have any religious items in public spaces. So the town hall for instance where we legally have to marry first before we can have our religious wedding. So I wouldn't be able to wear it there. Complicated! 
But I'm also thinking nothing. Just clean. I'm thinking earrings but haven't decided yet.

marigold40

The dress is lovely! I prefer the minimalist look too. And I love your bouquet idea! Beautiful! 

SP29

Dress looks great! Very elegant.

I like your minimalist look. I would wear simple pearl stud earrings.

ILoveBeachMusic

@Australian_girl_in_Paris, an individual can't wear a religious symbol? Wow, that is crazy. I would think it would just be a religious symbol being displayed in public space.

CMGragain

Pearls are always good!  Try a basic pearl necklace and earrings.  Love the dress on you!

short+sassy

You look beautiful!  I think that is a lovely and elegant dress.  I especially like the soft, cascading fall of fabric in the back.  I think a stunning necklace would look especially great with that neckline.

Australian_girl_in_Paris

ILoveBeachMusic It's about the separation of church and state. The law was passed in the early 2000's after a fear (real or imagined I'm not sure I think most likely imagined) that people (read men) would wear full burka's to commit crimes. France has the largest Muslum community in Europe. This comes from France historically colonising many parts of Africa that were Muslin and many of those people then emigrating to France. In the briefest terms. So to deal with this "issue" they banned religious iconography in public places and veils that covered your face.
The idea of the separation of religion from politics I agree with but honestly, this just feels super racist. France has lots of public holidays most of which are left overs from when the country was super Catholic like assumption and assertion. In fact, there's a public holiday every week in May! Also, you see many religious Jew who wears Kippa the skull cap and its no issue. This law really feels like it only discriminates against Muslims. 
But yes - if you have something every visually religious like a star or a cross necklace you can be asked to take it off in government buildings like a town hall or government school. It unlikely that they would ask me to take it off but I don't really want to risk it on such a special day.

Sorry for the geopolitical post but I thought I'd clarify.

Also, I REALLY don't want to get into any other discussion about religion and politics at all because I like this forum and I don't really want anyone to get into anything about it over this.

Anyway - I might see if there's anything else as a necklace that I like but I'm thinking that I'll probably do nothing to keep the minimal look.
Thanks for the advice

ILoveBeachMusic

Thanks for explaining. I figured it was about the separation of church and state but didn't realized they were that strict.