Wedding Etiquette Forum

Forgotten gift

Grandma-in-law has given a certain amount of $ to each of her grandkids when they got married. My husband was the last of the grandkids to get married a few weeks ago. GIL has Alzheimer's, so MIL told us a few weeks before the wedding that she would make sure grandma gave us the $ and told us the amount we would be receiving as a gift and said it was the same is the other grandkids have received. 

Now the wedding has come and gone and we were never given the gift. We were hoping for it to help cover our honeymoon expenses, but DH and I have since covered everything out of pocket. There has been some drama with the family after the wedding and now I wonder if it's because they are upset with me, but I think it's just as likely if not more than likely that my MIL either forgot altogether or thought she gave it to us already. Either way I am worried that it is rude to say anything so I am keeping my mouth shut. Still, I don't think it is fair to my husband since his cousin recently got married earlier this year and MIL made sure the cousin received the gift at the wedding. Is there an amount of time to pass before we should say something or should we just consider it gone and never bring it up? 

Re: Forgotten gift

  • I don't think you should mention it.  My dad gave my sister £4-5K for her honeymoon but wasn't able to give me anything 3 years later even though he intimated that he would.  Circumstances do change, and regardless of her mental health, maybe she just simply can't afford it.  

    Your MIL sounds pushy and silly.  Sorry.  She should not have told you to expect anything.  I do hope you are able to go on honeymoon in the end.
  • Don't say anything. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MIL told us a few weeks before the wedding that she would make sure grandma gave us the $ and told us the amount we would be receiving as a gift and said it was the same is the other grandkids have received. 


    I definitely wouldn't say anything.  Your H shouldn't even really say anything, since wedding gifts aren't mandatory.  I couldn't imagine reminding one of my grandparents if they'd been alive about money.  If your MIL is this pushy, maybe she'll eventually say something?  

    And if I was living with my ILs, almost nothing but my own housing would take financial priority.
  • Given how bad your situation with your FILs is, I'd forget asking about it.
  • To add, if all of the discussion of the gift happened with your MIL before the wedding and it's post wedding that your MIL told you to find a new place to live, I'd take her statement as a message that there will be no gift.

    I feel like there has to be a lot more to this story.   It's sounding.....mucky. 
  • I'm getting the sense that the ILs are not the only problems in this situation.
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