Wedding Party

Fun bridesmaids proposal?

I want to do something really fun and creative to ask my bridesmaids. I thought of an idea for a "game" I'm just not sure how to execute it- I want to gather them all for dinner or at my place where I'll introduce a new game I want to try out with them (not sure how else to do this while still keeping it a surprise). I bought these cute tiny packages that look like they are mini postal boxes. I thought that I would have them race to open the box, inside would be instructions (number 1 through ?) with dice as well, they have to roll they dice until they get doubles, take a shot after they get it, then I'm stuck lol eventually I want them to discover what I'm asking them. 

Re: Fun bridesmaids proposal?

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Doing parties and "proposals" like this puts pressure on people. What if one person can't be in your bridal party, and then has to decline in front of all these other people? 
    Just ask them each separately. 

  • I wanted to do it like this since this is my group of best friends since elementary school, so they pretty much already know they are going to be asked. I dont expect them to give me an answer right away since my wedding is 2 years off, and I'm explaining to them when I do this. I want to do something really out of the box. 
  • I am not a big fan of these "fun" bridesmaid proposals. I think they put too much pressure on people, and you're making it more so by asking them all at the same time, in front of each other. Please reconsider this. 

    And if you really must do it this way, I strongly suggest that you at least wait until about 10-12 months out from the wedding. Two years is a really long time to have your wedding party totally set in stone (remember, there's no going back once you've done this), and it will make it a lot more awkward if any of them have to back out later. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ditto PP.  Plus once one of them solves her clues and realizes you're asking her to be a BM, won't the rest kind of know what's happening?  This is a great question to ask individually, less than a year out.  When each say yes, maybe give them each their favorite bottle of wine or spirit, with a "I'm so excited you'll be my BM!" card?  That way it's still something special?
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Too much. Too much! Close Pinterest and walk away until after your wedding. Dont' let it suck you into the "have-to's" and "perfect wedding" BS. 
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Poke around this site & the threads.  It's not hard to find one where a bride is in a position where she asked someone to be in her bridal party and now regrets it and wants to "kick her out".  Of course, nobody assumes this would happen to them .... just wait to ask.  
  • I agree with PPs: Wait to ask, and do it individually.  I want to add, there's nothing wrong with a game night for your girls--whenever I can get my OOT friends together, we play Cards Against Humanity, Apples to Apples, Telestrations After Dark, lawn golf, etc.  I've always wanted to try Minute to Win It games at a Christmas party or something.  So by all means, make up a silly game to play with your friends!  But leave your wedding out of it.  

    As others have noted, making a big deal out of this "proposal" will send alarm bells off in your friends' heads that you're going to be over-the-top and require way too much of them leading up to your wedding (which may not be true, but that's how it will come off).  When you ask each girl individually, it gives her time to think rationally about her response, lets her know how important she is to you personally, and (if she says yes) gives you the opportunity to ask her privately for her dress budget.  These people have been your friends for a long time--don't let all the wedding industry hype screw that up!
  • I would be so offended by a public, cutsie bridesmaid "proposal".  Ew.   Awful idea!  Just ask them privately.  This is dignified and personal.  Your "proposal" idea is NOT.
    For heavens sake, wait until closer to your wedding date before you ask ANYONE to be in your bridal party.  People don't know where they will be two years from now.
  • I would suggest waiting until a bit closer to your wedding; usually 10ish months is suggested. No one knows how relationships might change, and removing someone from the wedding party is a very awkward situation (so is having someone stand up with you that you're not close to any longer).

    Also, an individual ask would likely be much more meaningful and special. As PPs have mentioned, sometimes people aren't able to immediately commit, or they say yes in their excitement but then realize they're not able to for one reason or another. That's probably not a situation you want to put your nearest & dearest in. If some of the women you plan to ask don't know each other, a silly game night would be a great way to all hang out together!
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I know this is old, but.... I will also say (probably for lurkers if OP is gone), that I have really despised people telling me I'm going to be in their wedding.

    Example: my SIL said "so you'll be a bridesmaid obviously and....(blah blah blah about the wedding)" I've had a couple of people "ask" me this way. It's flat, not meaningful, and really pretty disrespectful of my own feelings, financial situation, etc. 
    I agree. The only thing worse than "proposing" to ask a bridesmaid is to "voluntell" one to do so.
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