Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Unity Candle Lighting

Has anyone seen the parents light their candles during the ceremony. If so please share. Thanks

Re: Unity Candle Lighting

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have seen it happen in a secular ceremony or two, but I would not consider it the norm. 

    If parents are being asked to do this "as an honor" or as a way to "involve them", then I would recommend not doing it.  I required no honor other than being the MOB and MOG at the weddings of my daughter and son.  The ceremony is to unite the bridal couple, not the parents or the families.
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    During the ceremony, no. However, I have seen it done right before the ceremony, after everyone is seated and right before the processional starts. 

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have seen it done before the ceremony. I declined doing it at DD's wedding because I didn't want to be walking up in front of a bunch of people while wearing heels on stone steps! I was afraid of tripping and falling. 
  • What PPs have said. I've seen the parents go up in pairs and each light one candle before the ceremony, but not during. It kind of puts an awkward spotlight on them if it's done during the ceremony. Beforehand, I think it's sweet.
  • I think we sort of did this,but TBH all I remember is the part with my and my H.  If I had to go back in time and plan it again, I'd leave the unity ceremony out entirely; as people here have pointed out, it's kind of redundant, and the wedding is about joining you and your FI, not your parents and his/her parents.  I seem to remember having trouble lighting the candles,so there were a few awkward moments of trying to get a light.  If you do this in a church, I would suggest lighting the candles from a pre-existing flame (sort of like the Advent candles) so you're not fiddling with a lighter/matches.
  • We had thought about this, because my spouse's family is Jewish, and they and my mom were/are very into the concept of being machatonim. For our family, our wedding really did bring together 2 families, as our parents became close as a result.

    In the end, we decided not to because we thought it was more meaningful and powerful for the two of us to light the candle. Even though our families were being brought together, it was through our union, which is what we wanted the ceremony to focus on.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2017
    This was done just before the ceremony at daughter's wedding (church ceremony).  It is supposed to symbolize the joining of two families.  It is totally optional.  As soon as we lit the side candles and returned to our seats, the processional began.

    A simpler version was done at my own wedding (church) at the request of the minister, who liked the idea, but the parents were not involved.  The candles were pre-lit before the ceremony, and we lit the center candle during the ceremony.  I didn't care.  I was just happy to get married.
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