Wedding Etiquette Forum

Just need a place to vent

I really just need a moment to vent - I'm getting very frustrated as the wedding gets closer with how some people are acting.  It's a very small amount of people in the grand scheme of things - and honestly, a lot of it shouldn't surprise me but it's just very irritating.  

Our shower was this weekend and while it was truly beautiful there was some unnecessary drama and I think it just helped to set me off.  We've gotten some wild RSVPs (an invitation for one replying with four people.... I mean, come on!) which are things that I can absolutely handle but it's just bizarre.

My fiance's sister is kind of tipping it over the edge for me today and he's having a tough day so I don't want to vent to him.  I love his sister, I really do and we get along well 98% of the time.  They have a very competitive relationship and his mom plays them against each other. Most of the time I can let it slide off my back - like when she makes comments about how much more money her wedding cost than ours will (who honestly cares?) and how we shouldn't be spending the money we are on our wedding (none of your business what we spend and you don't actually know what we are spending) but today his cousin who had already RSVPd called to remove her teenage son from her RSVP and one of her reasons was that "we are overbooked by 50 people".

We are definitely NOT overbooked by 50 people.  We did not invite more people than we were prepared to pay for.  Would it be fine with us if we got closer to our quote price for 190?  SURE!  And we will get there by my count so far.  Would it also be fine with us if we had fewer guests than that?  SURE!  But I don't want to get to that number by people not coming because they think we can't afford to host them....  She was told this by his sister.  Who also told people weird things about who was invited or not invited and our registry (she told my fiance people weren't coming to the shower because our registry was too expensive - I checked, there were plenty of reasonably priced items still available and it was MY family not coming - his family actually had a higher number of attendees than my side).

It's not a huge deal but I'm SO over it.  I would confront her but it doesn't seem to get anywhere most of the time.  It just is rarely worth the energy.  

I don't know if that made any sense. I just need to get it out so I can move on and not react irresponsibly.

Thanks for that.

Re: Just need a place to vent

  • Haha yep, exactly what @CMGragain said! Throw all of that crap back at her and let her deal with it. I wouldn't confront her directly, just keep deflecting her drama. It sounds like a confrontation might make things worse, and you will be family so you don't want to start off on the wrong foot. Also, it sucks that you have to deal with this, but it sounds like you've got a good attitude about it :) 
  • Yikes, I'm sorry to hear your FI's sister is meddling so much and spreading bad info to other guests.  Sounds like you are handling it graciously.  Just keep your chin up and keep on being the bigger person.  I'm sure your wedding day will be can just get a little stressful sometimes leading up to that.

    I like @CMGragain's porcupine analogy.

    All the wine for you!  Hmmm...maybe try it with popcorn?  At least that's what I want to do now, lol.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I like @CMGragain's suggestion about how to handle things. I'm sorry your FSIL is being such a jerk to you.

    Enjoy wine and popcorn!
  • Thank you everyone... Seriously! It's nice to know I'm not crazy and this is legit weird AF.  I think people go nuts at weddings.... It's worth it right????
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2017
    Ah, families!  So full of drama.
  • LD1970 said:
    Your FSIL is weird.
    You did a good job.
    And I think popcorn would go well with a nice, buttery chardonnay.
    Note to self: need to try this sometime!
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