Wedding Etiquette Forum

NWR: Addressing Sympathy Card

wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
edited August 2017 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I can't find any information online. :(

My cousin's son (D) passed away recently. It was quite a shock. D was only fourteen. We don't know any details yet.

My cousin has been in a "domestic partnership" (their term) with a man for the past five years. He comes to every family get-together and is truly part of the family.

When addressing the sympathy card, I of course want to include him, as he was like a step-father to D, but is this proper? My gut says yes, of course.

If so, how do I address the envelope? Do I put my cousin's name first since she was D's mother, or do I treat it like a wedding invitation and follow standard address etiquette? I feel strange putting him first, since they aren't married, but I feel like that's "proper".


Ms. Stacy Smith and Mr. Kevin Jones

- or -

Mr. Kevin Jones and Ms. Stacy Smith

Re: NWR: Addressing Sympathy Card

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with @ernursej. I am sorry for your family's loss. My family went through this several years ago. It was such a difficult time for everyone but especially my cousin and his wife, of course.
  • So sorry for your family's loss. I would address your cousin first, but in this situation, the message in the card is much more important than how it's addressed.
  • So sorry for this unexpected loss, wrigley. Hope all is well with you.

    I would do the mom's name first.

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'm sorry for your loss.
    I would put the mom's name first, also.
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with putting the mom's name first. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. 
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