Wedding Party

5 ushers...

My fiance wants four of his friends as ushers and I have one best guy friend that I want as one as well. Does anyone have any ideas/experience on the different jobs each can do? I was thinking of splitting them up i.e. 2 hand out programs, 2 usher people to seats. But torn on other ideas. Any thoughts would be helpful!!

Re: 5 ushers...

  • Yeah...There aren't really any "jobs" for people to do at a wedding, outside of catering/setup and teardown/officiant/etc, all of which are paid positions.  I'm also confused about whether you mean to say these people are groomsmen/bridesmen, or if you just want them as ushers.  I haven't seen ushers at a wedding before, but I presume all they do is stand at the entrance greeting people and helping them to their seats, because that's what ushers at my church do.  TBH, it seems like a second-place prize for friends you aren't that close to.  Like, "I want to honor you by having you in my wedding, but I'm not close enough to you to ask you to be in my WP, so could you dress up real nice and say hello to people as they come inside?"  Might make them feel second-rate, KWIM?  Anyway, that's just my opinion.  If you've already asked them to be ushers and truly don't want them in your WP, just have them all stand at the entrance to the aisle and have them greet people and help them to their seats.  But you won't need 5 people to do that--most people can get to their seats by themselves, so really you'd only want 1 or 2 ushers (and you really don't need them at all).  If you haven't asked them yet, I'd ask them to be in your WP or just invite them as guests, which is also an honor but won't make them feel second-string to your WP.  
    short+sassy
  • Daughter had two ushers at her church wedding - her brother and a longtime friend.  They did not stand up with the wedding party, and just wore their own suits.  They were given boutonnieres to wear.  No one handed out programs.

    I can't image having five ushers.  How big is your wedding?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    InLoveInQueens
  • Any job that can be done equally well by an inanimate object is not appropriate for a human being. So leave the programs in a basket and not in the hands of 'ushers.' Ushers are for seating people, so if your wedding is not large enough to need five, have these people stand up in your wedding party, or do readings, or simply don't ask them to be in your wedding and let them be guests. (assuming they have not been asked already)
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    InLoveInQueens
  • I don't understand ushers at all. Every wedding I've been to the groomsmen help seat. What is the purpose of two separate groups? 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    scribe95 said:
    I don't understand ushers at all. Every wedding I've been to the groomsmen help seat. What is the purpose of two separate groups? 
    Because at many weddings, including all the ones I've been to, groomsmen do not help seat. They attend the groom.
    PrettyGirlLostCMGragainSTARMOON44augustgirl21
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Don't ask your wedding party members to "do jobs" like handing things out.  Put anything that needs handing out on a shelf or in a basket where guests can collect them for themselves.

    "Jobs" should be assigned to paid vendors, not wedding party members, who are special guests who stand with the couple. And don't worry about uneven sides. It's totally okay to have more people on one side than the other.
    InLoveInQueensahoywedding
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    scribe95 said:
    I don't understand ushers at all. Every wedding I've been to the groomsmen help seat. What is the purpose of two separate groups? 
    I agree.  In our area, the groomsmen function as the ushers, and usually escort the guest "VIP's", such as the grandmothers, godmothers, and the MOB.  Ushers are often viewed here as "lesser" wedding party members, and often do not even stand up with the groom during the ceremony.  I see it as a "thanks, but no thanks" faux honor.
    InLoveInQueens
  • Groomsmen can do two things at once. Attend the groom? What the heck does that even mean? Ushers are unnecessary roles that usually require tuxes. Just let the groomsmen seat as well. 
    InLoveInQueensdrid
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    scribe95 said:
    Groomsmen can do two things at once. Attend the groom? What the heck does that even mean? Ushers are unnecessary roles that usually require tuxes. Just let the groomsmen seat as well. 
    They can, but they don't. At the weddings I've been to, groomsmen didn't usher. Neither did bridesmaids.
    STARMOON44augustgirl21
  • SP29SP29
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    I've seen both- ushers, and no ushers.

    I have attended weddings where the GM assisted guests to their seats (one was quite formal- the GM seated every couple). Likewise, a couple with ushers who seated guests separately from the WP. And I've also been to weddings where there was no WP or ushers- guests seated themselves.

    I definitely agree that the couple should not give people "jobs" that an inanimate object could do (i.e. a basket for programs), or jobs that should be paid (set up, tear down). And while guests can definitely seat themselves, I don't think having ushers is wrong, it seems it's something of a traditional/cultural role.

    However, unless your guest list is HUGE (like 200-300 people to be seated for the ceremony), I think 5 ushers (if these are in addition to your GM) is too many. I've commonly seen 2 ushers.

    Ushers wear their own clothing, are given a bout, and are recognized in the program. You definitely shouldn't be asking them to wear a specific outfit.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I've seen both.
    Depends on how the wedding flow is tbh.

    For my/our wedding, we only had groomsmen and an MC. {reference for us, the MC only played aisle music and did announcements - intro to people making speeches, etc. Not always necessary.}
    Only my husband's mother got 'escorted' to her seat, because she walked in with him.
    cat animals pallas cat GIF
  • 5 ushers is way too many unless this is a wedding of like 500 people. Even 4 would be fine for a wedding that huge. 

    If this is an average sized wedding (100-150 guests), for your FH's 4 friends, I would have 2 be ushers and 2 be readers and your best guy friend stand up on your side (sides don't have to be "just girls" or even). If that doesn't work for y'all, I would have all 5 of these people as guests. Maybe give them boutonnieres and a great table at the reception. Keep it simple.
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    SP29
  • Hmm...new Knottie posts and runs.  We still don't have any details about her wedding, other than the fact that she is having five ushers who are not groomsmen.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Hmm yeah, ushers aren't totally necessary, and it's kind of rude to give a human a job that an inanimate object can do (ie. passing out programs). The only exception would be maybe a child, but it would be pretty demeaning for a grown adult.

    Ask a couple of them to do readings, include your male BFF on you side, and invite the others as guests. FWIW, I was an usher once at my cousin's wedding and felt pretty useless. I would rather have just attended as a guest.
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