You can't force him to tell you one way or the other.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
In February I had a manic episode and was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. During my mania I sent a colleague a romantic message (to which he sent a terse reply), followed by a couple of aggressive emails. While I was in the hospital I sent him messages apologizing for my behavior, and after I’d been out for a month, I sent him a letter. I haven’t heard from him at all.

I am torn because I don’t know how he feels. What can I do to forgive myself for my mania if he has no interest in forgiving me?

—Letting Go of Bipolar Behavior

MissKittyDanger

Unfortunately he doesn't have to accept the apology, despite LW apologizing and explaining.
At least LW did the right thing to explain and apologize, but what LW needs to focus on is making sure it doesn't happen again and is okay in the future.

kimmiinthemitten

Why is there a sudden weekly recurrence of "I stalked him and now he won't answer, how do I know how he feels?" letters recently.

He was terse, he has ignored you since, clearly he wants to marry you.  I mean, come on.

mrsconn23

kimmiinthemitten said:

Why is there a sudden weekly recurrence of "I stalked him and now he won't answer, how do I know how he feels?" letters recently.

Right?!  People need to learn that silence or avoidance is an answer.  Not the one you want, but it's an answer. 

charlotte989875

You were inappropriate (and yes likely had little control over your actions), and he has responded. You need to respect that he is not interested in any further contact. Work on this with your care team on your own. 

southernbelle0915

mrsconn23 said:

I don’t know how he feels. 

Isn't it obvious after his terse reply, aggressive emails and no response? He wants nothing to do with you, so stop harassing him. 

banana468

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence,
In February I had a manic episode and was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. During my mania I sent a colleague a romantic message (to which he sent a terse reply), followed by a couple of aggressive emails. While I was in the hospital I sent him messages apologizing for my behavior, and after I’d been out for a month, I sent him a letter. I haven’t heard from him at all.

I am torn because I don’t know how he feels. What can I do to forgive myself for my mania if he has no interest in forgiving me?

—Letting Go of Bipolar Behavior

His lack of response is all you need to know.   

Maybe he doesn't want to address the situation because it is so delicate and his lack of response is his way of just leaving it alone.

OP needs a good counselor.   This isn't something to simply manage on her own.   She needs to come to terms with herself and her disorder so she can have a plan to function as she moves forward. 

STARMOON44

He feels like you're a threatening crazy person he wants nothing to do with. 

short+sassy

I don't think the LW realizes that she "doubled down" on her inappropriateness.  Of course he is ignoring her.  I would also.

She sent an unfortunate message during a bad, manic episode.  He replied to that.  She realized her mistake once she was stabilized.  Apologized and sent an explanation, as to what had happened.  THE END.

Or, it should have been "the end".  But, when she didn't get a response, she kept sending message after message and a letter.  Yep, that would definitely convince me that my colleague wasn't still obsessed with me//sarcasm.