Writing in hopes of getting all of this out of my head! I *might* be overreacting & making excuses for others a bit here, but things are definitely not what I thought they would be.
Background: FI & I moved out of state in June, but made sure the wedding was in our hometown because we really wanted the people who are important to us to be able to attend. I'm on my second marriage, FI's first. Wedding is in September, on a Friday, late afternoon. We've only sent invitations to people who mean the most to us, kept it small, and publicized our wedding date to these people last Christmas. First warning sign: some of my friends and family made no effort to respond on getting together before we left, the SAME girls (including MOH) who were in my wedding party on my "test run" marriage, who I've gone on vacations with when I was growing up, etc. Okay, fine, I get some people are bad at goodbyes, maybe I'll hear from them down the road. RSVP's are starting to come to an end, so I message these same people, because they haven't RSVP'd - shocking - they can't make it. I TOTALLY GET it's on a Friday, people can't get off work, one of them has kids, totally fine, just slightly disappointed. I also get "why go to her next wedding" (uh, because long story short, this is a marriage out of love, respect, and friendship, not because I was too scared to call the first one off! I digress.) But the other one - well. She was in my first wedding, the bridal party even got ready at her parent's house, I've been friends with her for over 15 years. I was the one she went to when she found out she was pregnant & later had a miscarriage, that kind of friendship (or so I thought). She's also engaged too. I've worked with her in two different jobs throughout the years, one of which let us work the same shift (where I would pick her up bc she was on the way to work, cover her summer shifts when her FI had weekends with his daughter so they could do something), & we wedding planned together (this wedding for me) FOR NEARLY A YEAR. She knew the wedding date for over a year. I would hear from guests at work about how she would tell them I'm the only one of her co-workers invited to her wedding. Guess what, no asking for our new address, no invitation forwarded to this address (it's just a few weeks after mine). Should have known. Okay, point taken. My absence means little to her, so why would my presence make a difference. I feel used. No contact from her other than a response to me reminding her to RSVP by x, to which I get "Sorry unable to make it," first response from her since before June. Overreacting? Maybe it's time to cut my losses and move on, I know I have better friends. It's just sad that a long friendship has come to this.
P.S. - I know I'm not overreaching about not being a wedding guest. When we were talking, she was estimating up to 175 people.