I’ve known my friend “B” for around five years. We met as students and had a wonderful companionship through school and still remain close. The only problem is her escalating interest in the cast of a television show, particularly one male actor. It began with a minor interest in the show while we were students. She was going through a rough time personally and began watching; over the years, she has become so obsessed with one of the lead actors that she now spends thousands of dollars to go to conventions across the country, attends related events, and generally finds reasons to be in his neighborhood. They have “coincidentally” met several times, and he was rude to her on multiple occasions. This is only a fraction of what B has done to research, stalk, and meet this actor, who is twice her age. He now recognizes her.
I’ve never spoken to her about how I feel although the whole thing creeps me out. Now she has a group of friends that she met online, and they are all intensely involved in the “fandom,” too. When I have met them, they only discussed said actor, who most recently saw him, and what’s happening in their online community. Many of her pre-fandom friends are ghosting her, including her closest friend from childhood, and I’m considering doing the same. Others have told B that her behavior is odd, and she has responded with anger. Should I tell her that this is why her other friends have stopped speaking to her? (She is completely unaware of the reason they dropped out of her life.) Or should I avoid the confrontation and fade out as well?
—Caught Up in Fandom