Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

God laughs when you make plans.

Waring this is going to be long.

Lots of people told me before our wedding to manage my expectations - that something would go wrong and to try not to get caught up it in. I don't think that they meant this. It's taken me quite a while to sit down to write this because I still can't really believe it. Our reception venue that we spent weeks looking for caught fire and a good portion of it burnt in the early morning of the day of our wedding.

The venue contacted my (now) husband around 9am to inform him to say that they had a backup venue and that they were moving everything that could there. He then called me. 

Our bridal party and my BIL were amazing jumping into action and going to the new venue to try to get everything ready in time. They were able to save the flowers and table settings, the table map sign but everything for our religious ceremony that had been in a different room was burnt. 

They were able to set up at the new venue. The venue was on the Champs Elysees in Paris (would be nice if it wasn't so tacky now) but it was the same days and the Journe de Patrimoine - a day when all public buildings like the president's residence etc are open to the public. This meant that the street and access was limited to 300meters away meaning my disabled father and any older guest had to walk that! Not terrible considering.

The staff were able to pull off the general order of the event we had planned in terms of time after that.

Secondly, the top button on my dress popped during lunch (we had a break between our legal civil wedding and out) I was kind of crucial in keeping the top from falling open. As a few of you know I work in Fashion so I texted a friend to bring a needle and thread to the reception to fix it which was annoying but ok - However! the photographer decided it was important to take all the group photos whilst I was away (for only like 15 minutes) I know this because even though we haven't gotten them back yet my FIL who stood near her taking photos at the same time sent us his photos this week and all the group photos with my husbands family and his friends were taken whilst I wasn't there!! Awesome!!!

Honestly, my feelings about all of this are really complicated. 
I got married to a guy I love and who means the world to me. But I feel like I was on auto-pilot the whole day. I had a bit of a cry when my button popped but I mostly kept it together I think by not really being in the moment. 
And yes we got married on the Champs Elysees which others might think it amazing but its the exact opposite of what we wanted! We looked for an 'industrial' looking place for ages because I love all the amazing 19th-century factories they have here. And I really dislike the fancy frou-frou Frenchy places and that's exactly what we got. 

I spent 2 years planning this wedding - every single thing I planned. So much effort, so many people coming from over 10 different countries. and although they were able to transport most things (only a prayer shall and an extra shirt for just in case anything got spilt) nothing looked exactly the way I thought it would. I spent 3 hours at the original venue the day before going over everything and all I can feel now is that we didn't do it yet. People keep telling us how much they liked the place we ended up which is soooo annoying to hear because we didn't want anything like that. I'm so fed up with hearing it!! 

To add insult to injury I just found out today that our venue in Australia for our celebration at home was meant to have renovations finished in July and apparently they're not and won't be finished in time.

I'm sorry this is such a rambling post but I'm so all over the place about it.
Of course, I happy about being married but I just so desperately sad about everything that happened.
I'd like to know if anyone else had anything this dramatic happen to them and if or how long it too them to feel ok about it.


I'm putting a few of the photos that people have given us just so you can see but they're not the ones from our photographer. 

Us walking down the stairs at the town hall in a cloud of bubbles.


My dress, jacket, obi and wonder woman hair!

The steps of the Town Hall from the civil ceremony

Our religious ceremony
Our amazing Chouppa that was made especially was burnt up so we had our religious ceremony under this thrown together version that was just kinda ok.

OurWildKingdomSP29

Re: God laughs when you make plans.

  • ((Hugs)) I know how disappointed you must feel. You spend years planning and dreaming of your day and at the end you didn’t get any of it, except the man ;). I know it must sting now, and it will for a while, but you do look beautiful and you are married. In 15 years, hopefully less, the hurt won’t be as strong and the memories of the good things will shine through.

    Congratulations on your marriage!
    CMGragaincharlotte989875OurWildKingdomSP29
  • Well, congratulations on your marriage!  Your photos look beautiful.  I'm sorry things didn't work out as you had hoped, but it looks like you made an excellent recovery. 
    Yes, there are hurricanes,earthquakes, fires, medical emergencies - so many things that can change your wedding plans.  I am so glad you were able to have a lovely wedding in spite of things.  Best wishes for your future!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OurWildKingdomSP29
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I think you need to focus on the bright side of things. They had a backup venue available for you! Honesty, I think that's amazing. Also, the fire happened before your wedding. Could you imagine if the fire happened during your ceremony or reception?? 

    Your pictures are great. Congrats! 

    STARMOON44ernursejOurWildKingdomSP29
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Congratulations and best wishes!

    I'm sorry so many things went wrong that day...but hopefully it will merely be the beginning of a very happy marriage.
    OurWildKingdom
  • Thanks, everyone. I know that we will eventually be able to laugh about it but it's hard to think that now.

    climbingwife We were very lucky with the backup venue - the group that owns our original venue had just bought this new place and were planning to start some renovations on the following Monday so it really was lucky (for want of a better word.)

    LondonLisa We said that actually that we could throw a party in the original space for one 1st anniversary! We are having a celebration of our wedding in Australia for my family who couldn't travel to France. So I do have that to think about but it seems to keep my mind on the French catastrophe.

    holyguacamole79 I just said that about SATC to a friend last night! Here's hoping it rings true (We had a Jewish wedding too ha!)
    OurWildKingdomSP29
  • I think you have a very positive attitude despite the day not going as planned!

    Have you actually sat down and really grieved what you lost? It may be helpful to have a pity day/weekend full of ice cream, wine and crying. If you haven't done that, it may be cathartic to do so.

    I would also try and find 3 things that were 'perfect'. Perhaps your flowers were amazing (they looked beautiful) or saying your vows made it feel like it was just you and your H alone or even that the dessert was so fantastic that you dream of having one more bite. Try to think about these things as what made your wedding.

    I'm really sorry that this happened to you but glad that you still got to marry your H.

    OurWildKingdomholyguacamole79SP29Australian_girl_in_Paris
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    member
    Your pictures are gorgeous, and one day you’re going to have some great stories. Congratulations!
    SP29
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    I understand why you feel upset. You planned something for so long, had such great expectations, and then it didn't happen. I'm like that. I'm super indecisive but once I decide on something, that's IT, so if that happens to change, it takes me awhile to adjust. It's OK to be upset, I think what is important though is that you realize the difference- OK to be upset something didn't work out like you planned, but you realize the important stuff happened!

    You pictures are gorgeous! And you look gorgeous! I looooove that staircase. Yes, you have to realize that for those of us on the other side of the Atlantic, that getting married just about anywhere in Paris is incroyable! ;)

    Good idea on planning an anniversary party at your preferred location, and taking some more photos in your wedding attire at a preferred location.

    I didn't get to wear the wedding dress I had picked on our wedding day (shipping disaster). I held up hope that it would arrive last minute- you know, like in the movies ;), but when I got the final call that, "sorry, we can't find your dress", I definitely had a sob. But then I turned to problem-solving mode (with the help of my friends and family) and borrowed a dress. I was very touched by how kind many people, even those I didn't know well, were. So many people offered to let me borrow their own dress or ask so-and-so about theirs. I ended up wearing my step-step sister's wedding dress (she and I had not met yet). It fit me near perfect, it was a great day, I received a lot of compliments on the dress. But, several months later, I wondered what to do about this other dress sitting in my closet, so DH and I hired a photographer and put our attire on again (I got my hair and make up done again- so fun!) and did a 2hr photo shoot. I love the photos from our wedding and our "fun day".
    OurWildKingdomAustralian_girl_in_Paris
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