Wedding Woes

Ugh

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Re: Ugh

  • @southernbelle0915 I loved your comment for the cotton headed ninny muggins part.  Ha.

    My ugh is that FI and I argued about how his parents (no $ for the wedding) are demanding we invite every extended family member because "you have to" and "they won't come anyway" and it put us above capacity.  I finally conceded after telling him it makes us look gift grabby, they don't get a say, I am not doing this with my family etc but told him, in no uncertain terms, that if they RSVP yes and we are put above our capacity, he is paying for a new venue and new invitations to notify the attendees.  And I am paying for nothing more than what we agreed to.  

    short+sassy
  • kvruns said:
    My ugh is that it is almost my bedtime and NO Prudie!!? 
    Today is Wednesday :) 
    D'OH!! 
    kvrunskimmiinthemitten

  • 100% on your side with this.  I see where you are coming from.  I'm so glad IL isn't like that.  I bought my house before i was married, and even before meeting him (actually right about the same time)! I have paid every single penny into this house, he has not contributed anything to it, nor have I helped him with his living expenses (remember, we're weird and live apart) 

    When H took out the loan for our new condo, I didn't want to be put on it since I had my own house.  This is his.  I mean technically, both our places are "ours" but I have the house, he has the condo.  When we met with the loan officer and told him I'm staying off the loan, he had no problems with it.

    I'm being nosy and feel free not to answer, but how does that work with taxes since I imagine you can only claim one primary residence for mortgage deductions etc
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
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    S+S - I can't be on a mortgage right now from the short sale of my first home bought at the height of the market.  When we purchased our current home and the refinance, I had to attend and sign something saying I knew about the loan. 

    When we got our new car loan earlier this year, it was in my name to help my credit.  H had to do the same, signing to say he knew I was taking a car loan out.

    So it goes both ways and protects both parties. 

    charlotte989875
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
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    kvruns said:

    100% on your side with this.  I see where you are coming from.  I'm so glad IL isn't like that.  I bought my house before i was married, and even before meeting him (actually right about the same time)! I have paid every single penny into this house, he has not contributed anything to it, nor have I helped him with his living expenses (remember, we're weird and live apart) 

    When H took out the loan for our new condo, I didn't want to be put on it since I had my own house.  This is his.  I mean technically, both our places are "ours" but I have the house, he has the condo.  When we met with the loan officer and told him I'm staying off the loan, he had no problems with it.

    I'm being nosy and feel free not to answer, but how does that work with taxes since I imagine you can only claim one primary residence for mortgage deductions etc
    nah, you're fine.  We've only been married one year, and we both filed "married but filing separately".  We looked at both numbers, and filing jointly didn't benefit us.  I dont know what this upcoming tax year will look like, but it'll probably be the same.

  • S+S - I can't be on a mortgage right now from the short sale of my first home bought at the height of the market.  When we purchased our current home and the refinance, I had to attend and sign something saying I knew about the loan. 

    When we got our new car loan earlier this year, it was in my name to help my credit.  H had to do the same, signing to say he knew I was taking a car loan out.

    So it goes both ways and protects both parties. 


    It does go both ways.  And it isn't true for all states.  But I'm still highly suspicious these types of law came from a patriarchal place.  Because laws are generally old and from when men ruled the world, even more than they do now.

    It's possible I'm being too sensitive.  But, on the subject, I always picture something like how dare June Cleaver have the audacity to get a car loan without her H's permission. 

    It's also harkening back to (I'm guessing) the way olden days when people got married younger and were more likely to share their finances.

    Shocker to the "establishment".  Some married couples don't share their finances.  Many women, even in the middle/upper classes, work and buy their own stuff.

    Do I think married couples should discuss major purchases with each other?  Yes, absolutely.  Do I think the state gets to dictate that married people HAVE to inform the other person of financial decisions that are being made?  Financial decisions that have no effect on the other person's credit, mind you.  No, no they don't.  It's outrageous.

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  • Yay, @charlotte989875!  That's awesome!  You deserve a nap after a job well done.
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    charlotte989875
  • @charlotte989875 so bad ass!!! Get it girl!
    *********************************************************************************

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    charlotte989875
  • Thanks @short+sassy & @southernbelle0915 It did feel pretty badass. 
    short+sassy
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
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    Yup, it was super fun proctoring.  It actually wasn't that bad.  I knew all of the students in my room,  so it was a bit easier than it could've been.  The only thing that sucked was trying to get them back after the break.  A bunch of them went to the bathroom at the same time, so there was a line.   So when the break time was up,  half of the room was empty (even though I had told them when we'd start back up.   *sigh*  i did the whole walking thing,  but it wasn't terribly exciting.   

    We're going to watch the Indians / Yankees game tonight to see who we're playing next!



    Anniversary
    charlotte989875OurWildKingdomkimmiinthemitten
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
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    edited October 2017

    S+S - I can't be on a mortgage right now from the short sale of my first home bought at the height of the market.  When we purchased our current home and the refinance, I had to attend and sign something saying I knew about the loan. 

    When we got our new car loan earlier this year, it was in my name to help my credit.  H had to do the same, signing to say he knew I was taking a car loan out.

    So it goes both ways and protects both parties. 


    It does go both ways.  And it isn't true for all states.  But I'm still highly suspicious these types of law came from a patriarchal place.  Because laws are generally old and from when men ruled the world, even more than they do now.

    It's possible I'm being too sensitive.  But, on the subject, I always picture something like how dare June Cleaver have the audacity to get a car loan without her H's permission. 

    It's also harkening back to (I'm guessing) the way olden days when people got married younger and were more likely to share their finances.

    Shocker to the "establishment".  Some married couples don't share their finances.  Many women, even in the middle/upper classes, work and buy their own stuff.

    Do I think married couples should discuss major purchases with each other?  Yes, absolutely.  Do I think the state gets to dictate that married people HAVE to inform the other person of financial decisions that are being made?  Financial decisions that have no effect on the other person's credit, mind you.  No, no they don't.  It's outrageous.

    I'm sure it did come from a patriarchal place.  

     In community property states I get the reason.   It would be horrible for a spouse to find out they are responsible for a deceptive practices of their partner.  It's not all about your credit either.  

    There are a lot of scum bags out there.   DH's ex-step-dad is one of them.   He deceived MIL into signing over the house to him. She was an idiot and thought she was signing finance papers.   For the next 5 years he took out multiple mortgages without her knowledge.   Eventually he laundered the money to buy a house in his then mistress/now-wife's name.    Then he stopped pay the mortgages.    Mind you MIL paid $67K in cash for the house.  By the time she divorced he had taken out $500K in mortgages.

     She only found out she didn't actually own the house or about the mortgages when she getting a divorced.   She would have benefited from a law like LA.    

    I understand your point of view on why it might have been established, but it can benefit both sexes these day.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
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    6fsn said:
    boo @mrsconn23

    My ugh- since our old car is titled in both names we BOTH have to go to the title agency to get a replacement.  Now I'm wondering if we BOTH have to sign off with a notary.

    Funny (But embarrassing)- My 4 yo said to another 4 yo "Be careful or the bee will sting your penis." 
    Can you change it so it's Jane Doe or John Doe instead of Jane Doe and John Doe? In my state, if you do the former, only one person has to sign.  

  • @lovesclimbing We're selling it so it doesn't really matter. We needed a replacement so we both needed to be there. We have a hard copy of our van. 
    lovesclimbing
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
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    @charlotte989875 ; that is super bad ass!

    @holyguacamole79 Hubs was bored.  But he's always bored proctoring.  He did confirm that he did not hit anyone's desk with a ruler, apparently it's distracting when kids are focused or something haha.
    image
    charlotte989875
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
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    @missJeanLouise, the kitty is so cute! Do you have a name for her yet?
  • @OurWildKingdom The rescue named her Genevieve, since we mostly call her kitty kitty or little one, we will keep it her official name.
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