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OliveOilsMom because we're paying for it ourselves and appreciate experiences over things? And I'm really not understanding the "entitlement" argument- I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying I don't understand how that's what you're getting from this. Selfish and cheap? Maybe. But I don't feel entitled to anything- we are having an event, and people can go if they want. We aren't expecting anything, gifts or otherwise. And yes, we do have our vision of our venue and honeymoon, and I'm not letting a single meal take that from me.
Ro041 We're not poor- we make good money. I just can't fathom spending an extra $1500 just on food. That's 6 months of car payments, a month's rent, an amount I could send to struggling family to help them financially for an entire year, etc. Not worth a meal to me.
Ro041 We're not poor- we make good money. I just can't fathom spending an extra $1500 just on food. That's 6 months of car payments, a month's rent, an amount I could send to struggling family to help them financially for an entire year, etc. Not worth a meal to me. And we don't have a large savings because we just graduated college and started in the workforce in the last year (22 & 23). Our savings is an emergency fund, not "feed people" fund.
@ashleymay44 - I am curious, at what point in your life have you ever sent $1,500 to a "struggling family to help them financially for an entire year"? If the answer is "never" then your point is not well made. If you are concerned about feeding needy families, I would suggest foregoing the $4,400 cake reception in Vegas (and the flights there and hotel there) and send that money to 5 needy families to help support them for a year. No? I didn't think so.
Ro041 When I say "struggling family" I mean my own. And I send them far more than that each year.
MRDCle I've been working full-time for years, I've only recently graduated college and joined the "official" 9-5 workforce in the last year.
Ro041 same as I said above, I'm paying for those members' travel expenses. Obviously I can't expect them to afford it themselves.
southernbelle0915 I'll be paying their travel expenses.
I think people are just saying, or one of the options people are saying, is that it is better, nicer, and more polite to invite fewer people and feed them. Than it is to invite more people, most of whom it doesn't even seem like you care are there anyway, and only host a 1-hour reception with cake.
I know you have said that your guests would rather be invited, even if it only means cake. But, then again, is a close friend or family member really going to say, "WTF? No. I'd be really annoyed and think you and FI are cheap azzes, if you invite me to a destination wedding and only host me with a slice of cake." They're not even going to say that more nicely than I just did. They're just going to nod along that "of course we want to attend your wedding."
I know you see it like it is NBD. If they don't want to go under the circumstances, they don't have to go. While that is true, it can also leave a bad taste in people's mouths for a very long time. To me, it's better to receive no invitation than an offensive one.
I can't help myself, I even have a Vegas-related analogy . Not a perfect analogy, but I'm seeing similarities. I'm a Diamond member at Harrahs and get free drinks, whether I'm playing or not, at all Harrahs casinos. I live in New Orleans and play at the Harrahs in this city. I haven't been to Vegas in 15 years.
My birthday is this month. Harrahs e-mailed me a "birthday gift". One free drink at any of their properties in Las Vegas. Not New Orleans. Only Las Vegas properties.
I was SO PI**ED OFF and totally insulted. They could have just sent me a Happy Birthday e-mail and left it at that. Fine. Great. But to send me such a pathetic, pointless, and useless "gift"...was so much worse. Because it screamed to me how little they give a s**t about me and my patronage of their business.
I realize this was some computer generated e-mail. And if human beings actually worked in their marketing department, one of them could make the argument of, "If she doesn't want to fly halfway across the country to get a free cocktail...that would be free at any Harrahs she went to anyway...she doesn't have to do that." Sure. I guess that's technically true. Or they could just not insult me by sending a b.s. gift with a $10 value, that would cost me $1K-$2K and a lot of time to obtain.
Ro041 Didn't bring it up because it wasn't relevant to my ORIGINAL question, which was simply how to bring it to guests attention that there FI and I are going somewhere after. That's all I was asking. And yes, those few members will be paid for by me. I don't plan on extending the offer any further unless it can easily be done.STARMOON44 You're misinterpreting (as is everyone else, which is why I clarified) what I meant by "struggling family." I'm referring to my own family, whom I regularly help.banana468 Because I am paying for those particular members, so I don't see it to be an issue to invited them. Not an extra part of the budget, just that if we have enough saved up come the time of the wedding, we'll feed who is there- but it's not guaranteed.