Wedding Etiquette Forum

Miss Manners - sweetheart table


Re: Miss Manners - sweetheart table

  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2017
    Agree with the above.

    @MandyMost you could also argue that whom the couple decides to sit with looks like favourtism. The couple cannot sit with ALLL of their guests, so they have to choose to sit with one group or none. Of course it shouldn't matter where adults sit, but if you view it as the couple looking high and mighty for having a sweetheart table, then someone else can just as easily be offended that the couple is sitting at a table with only one side of the family or a close group of friends.
  • Go ahead and have your sweetheart tables but just know that I can't possibly be the only human being in the world who looks at you sitting at your little table and thinks "Why the heck would they invite 150 people and choose to sit alone?". This is my last post on this thread, so I'll just address the last couple questions seemingly addressed towards me. 

    • Why would you invite 150 people and only sit with 8 of them? Because that's the biggest reasonable table that could fit at the venue. Just like if you have a big thanksgiving and set up extra tables in the living room, you're only sitting at one of the tables. And just like it would be weird to set up a 2-person table next to a few 8-person tables at your thanksgiving dinner, it is weird to set it up at your wedding reception.

    • That "someone else can just as easily be offended that the couple is sitting at a table with only one side of the family or a close group of friends" is exactly the rationale so many of the people who have sweetheart tables use! I've seen that a million times on these boards, and even in this thread! "Oh, person A doesn't like person B, and since i can't sit with both of them, I can't possibly choose one of them, so I'll just sit alone instead." I say you should woman-up and pick a gd table. 

    • To me, the better choice is to choose a table to sit at, no matter who you are choosing to sit with, instead of choosing to sit alone. I don't care if it's with your friends or your family, on one side or on both sides, but I do think it's only polite to your guests that you're sitting with that you are making sure they know other people at the table too. The sweetheart table just screams of either "i couldn't pick who to sit with because i was so afraid of offending who I'm not sitting with that I'll just sit alone" and/or "I'm too good to sit with you losers, I'm going to sit alone". 

    The biggest difference between seemingly everyone else on this thread and me is that I don't see a wedding reception as a whole different entity with it's own rules as compared to any other dinner party--whether it's 500 people at a business event or 5 people in your home--and so I don't think it makes sense to sit alone at a wedding reception any more than it does when inviting people to your home or when at a big dinner event. 
  • @MandyMost, you said you're not coming back but your post failed to address the point that I made - we hardly sat at all.   It didn't seem fair to sit at a table when we would be leaving two empty seats for most of the meal.    We are up throughout the entire event going to visit tables.  

    I've said this before but just because you may be one of FEW people who think that way hardly means that the rest of us should take your opinion as one that needs to be incredibly valuable when plenty of arguments can be made against your complaining list.

    Hopefully the couple who sat with all of their guests weren't the ones who left you in the rain. 
    • *snip* woman-up *snip*
    Can I just say I love this phrase, I use it all the time, I almost never hear it used outside my sisters, and I love that you used it!
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