Another inheritance question

mrsconn23

Dear Jane,

I’m an artist in a Midwest city. I have had moderate success but this year I’ve really kicked my ass and have been creating work I’m proud of, have gotten a bit of local recognition, but have sold almost nothing. (I took this year to not go on the road to festivals to work on new things.) Luckily, my husband works in finance (so basically against my feminist sensibilities I am a kept woman), we have no dependents, and live in a cheap house very modestly.

I stand to inherit a large sum of money upon my uncle’s passing (which, hopefully, won’t be for a couple decades—he’s not even 70 yet) and just learned that he will be giving me a chunk of money “for a rainy day” at the end of the year. He has seen me working hard and wants to acknowledge that I don’t squander money like others in the family he is NOT giving money to (all this I learned from my sister, the executive of his estate), and I’m going to look at it as getting a grant from a benefactor for my art.

So, how does one go about not feeling like a fraud in their professional circle in this situation? Most of my friends are in the same boat—great artists who don’t make loads of money or have partners who support them, or seemingly work way harder than I do. I am daydreaming about getting a studio and upgrading my tools (a little goes a long way in this part of the country), applying to otherwise cost-prohibitive career-related activities, etc., and, although I will not be flaunting my newfound financial freedom all over the place, it’s a small community and I don’t want to give the impression that I’m, like, hot shit or something. (That sounds so fucking Midwestern, sorry.) My general thoughts are 1) who cares what people think/assume, and 2) no one is really paying attention to me anyway. BUT, I still feel like I didn’t exactly “earn” this and have a weird guilt about it. I got this for not being a fuck up in my uncle’s eyes, and being nice to him (genuinely), but not for “working” exactly.

I plan to donate some to local art organizations and animal shelters, but I should just get over this and enjoy it, yeah?

Feeling like a Fraud

MissKittyDanger

Do what you want with your money and keep your mouth shut. There is no reason to tell people about it.

charlotte989875

Enjoy it, and if you're able to in the future pay it forward to someone else. But your uncle wanted you to have this money, and you don't owe an explanation to anyone else where it came from or what you're using it for. 

Side note: I kind of find the guilt part of this a little annoying, TBH. Someone is trying to be incredibly generous to you, and unless there's some string attached you can't agree to, why not let them? 

MissKittyDanger

charlotte989875 said:

Enjoy it, and if you're able to in the future pay it forward to someone else. But your uncle wanted you to have this money, and you don't owe an explanation to anyone else where it came from or what you're using it for. 

Side note: I kind of find the guilt part of this a little annoying, TBH. Someone is trying to be incredibly generous to you, and unless there's some string attached you can't agree to, why not let them? 

They were probably heavily taught "money always comes with strings"

banana468

If you're looking to turn a profit, I hope the she's researching and understanding the best ways to grow before deciding on capital expenses. 

southernbelle0915

She's like "I don't want to look like I'm spending all this money!!!!" So don't and invest it. Or do and just be humble about it. Who cares?

VarunaTT

This is making me grit my teeth, just a bit, and I'm trying not to.

Professional artists want to get paid for their art and use it to make a living.  So, why the hell is this even a thing?  You're coming into money that can make the goal of professional artist a possibility, even w/out your husband's help.  Your professional circle would probably wish you good luck, be a little jealous, and not GAF beyond that.

Honestly, she sounds she's is either apologizing for her art/talent/skill or she's not really pursuing it and uses it as her reason for enjoying being a kept woman.  It's annoying.

CMGragain

Why on earth would you tell anyone about how much money you have?  That is sooooo tacky!

GBCK

eh, imposter syndrome is part of the art and nonprofit world too.
So "wow, there are so many worthy causes/people...why am *I* getting this?" seems like a normal-ish reaction.

ANd I don't think you have to say anything for people to 'know'--either you can afford to be an artist w/o a day job because you've been given cash in some way, or you can't--that part isn't rocket surgery.

cindylover711

charlotte989875 said:

Enjoy it, and if you're able to in the future pay it forward to someone else. But your uncle wanted you to have this money, and you don't owe an explanation to anyone else where it came from or what you're using it for. 

Side note: I kind of find the guilt part of this a little annoying, TBH. Someone is trying to be incredibly generous to you, and unless there's some string attached you can't agree to, why not let them? 

Yh, i second your advice.Do something meaningful such as helping those in need and etc.