This is my first post in a forum, really ever. I am hoping that I could get some valuable feedback on this issue, since I haven't been able to find any examples on here of women in my current predicament, but I am sure there are people out there! Thank you in advance for reading and helping.
My mother and father are still married, but my mother kept her maiden name at marriage. They named me with my mother's last name as my middle name, and my father's last name as my last name (Nicola MothersLastName FathersLastName). It is not a hyphenated name--my mother's name is my legal middle name.
I want to take my husband's last name when we get married in January 2019, and I am not sure what to do. Since I don't have a traditional middle name, it seems as though my options are to either have 4 names (not ideal, especially since I live in California where a court order is required to do so), or choose between my mother and my father's name. I would prefer to be Nicola FathersLastName HusbandsLastName, simply because I prefer the way it sounds, and I identify more strongly with it, but I know that this would really upset my mother, with whom I am very close.
When I first floated the idea of changing my name at all to my mother, she wasn't pleased. I think she was hoping I would keep my name exactly as is, which I know sounds untraditional, but there is nothing traditional about my mother. She said something along the lines of "Oh for goodness sake, at LEAST keep your name!". She loves my fiancé very much, so it's not an issue with anything other than personal philosophy I suppose. She has even mentioned how she gave me her name as a way of attaching her lineage to me, which shows that she has given this some thought, and it is very important to her. I don't know how to tell her that I would be shedding her last name without really hurting her. In general, my mother highly values my independence and hardly ever gives strong opinions about matters that are my own choice, unless I ask her. This issue just seems to be an exception for her.
I guess I have a lot of anxiety about this since the idea of having 4 names sounds like a logistical nightmare, but the idea of shedding my mother's last name sounds like an emotional nightmare. I know that I will need to just talk to them about this openly, but I guess I'm not ready yet, and I wanted to see if anyone has any light to shed. What do you think?
TLDR: My middle name is my mother's last name, and my last name is my father's last name (they are still married), so I am not sure what to do when I take my husband's last name at marriage.