Real names vs. nicknames on STDs / Invites

andisummers94

Hi y'all, I'm recently engaged and just starting to plan things. My fiancee and I were wondering about real names vs. nicknames in our save the dates and invitations. My full name is Andrea but I've gone by Andi my whole life. NOBODY calls me Andrea- not friends, family. The only exception is like, the bank and other formal places. Likewise, my fiancee's full name is Cameron but he goes by Cam a lot of the time. Though people do refer to him as Cameron occasionally (grandparents, etc). Should we go for real names on both our save the dates and invitations? Or just the invitations? Or neither? Does it matter if we're having a fancier wedding (we're probably not, super low budget)? Help!!

southernbelle0915

andisummers94 said:

Hi y'all, I'm recently engaged and just starting to plan things. My fiancee and I were wondering about real names vs. nicknames in our save the dates and invitations. My full name is Andrea but I've gone by Andi my whole life. NOBODY calls me Andrea- not friends, family. The only exception is like, the bank and other formal places. Likewise, my fiancee's full name is Cameron but he goes by Cam a lot of the time. Though people do refer to him as Cameron occasionally (grandparents, etc). Should we go for real names on both our save the dates and invitations? Or just the invitations? Or neither? Does it matter if we're having a fancier wedding (we're probably not, super low budget)? Help!!

I think it depends on the formality of your wedding. If you're having a really formal or black tie affair, you should use your given names. If it's going to be more casual, using "Andi and Cam" is fine. 

But if literally nobody except family knows you as Andrea and Cameron and you ARE having a formal affair where you plan to use your given names, you may want to include a picture on your save the dates so people know who is getting married. 

In terms of given names or nick names for GUESTS, I would err on the side of given names regardless of formality. So instead of "Jim and Peg Smith" you'd go with "Ms. Margaret Smith and Mr. James Smith". Know what I mean?

Jen4948

I think that for save-the-dates you can be as formal or informal as you normally are.

I agree with @southernbelle0915 that if you're having a more formal wedding, then you should use full names for both yourselves and your guests on your invitations and forgo nicknames.

You can put out advance notice by word of mouth to any guests who might not recognize your full names to expect invitations from Andrea and Cameron as opposed to Andi and Cam.

ILoveBeachMusic

I agree that fo save-the-dates nicknames are fine. I would go with given names for the invitations unless you are having a casual wedding - especially in the case of your FI where some people do call him by his given name.

MyNameIsNot

I would go with nicknames on the STD, formal names on the invitation unless it's a super casual wedding.

I use my middle name, and have a ton of family with a shared surname. There were definitely people who wouldn't have known who I was with just my real name. I did middle on STD, full on invitation. Everyone was able to figure it out. Likewise, I think people will be pretty quick to figure out that Andi and Cam are Andrea and Cameron. If you went by Anita, they might be left wondering. 

downtondiva

For yourselves, I would personally go with full names. I think people will know it's you. I just have never seen anyone use a nickname for themselves on an invitation, though maybe that's just me. My husband almost never goes by his "real" name, but we used it on our invites. Same thing for my brother when he got married. 

For guests, I used full names on the outer envelopes, and if there was a nickname or different name I usually call them, I used that on the inner envelope. If you're just doing outer envelopes, I would stick with full/formal names. 

SP29

STDs are informal by nature, so you can use nicknames there if you'd like.

For invitations, I would use formal names, for both your guests and yourselves. You can do things like sign your thank you cards with your usual names.

CMGragain

I have two first names, and they are not related to each other, so I get your problem.  Personally, I chose to issue my invitations in my legal name, which was also used at my baptism, even thought no one calls me me by this name.  Nobody was confused.
As for ADDRESSING envelopes. that is a matter of choice.
Remember, your name choice may change as you get older.  Someone who uses  a cute nickname in their 20s might not feel that it fits them as their career advances.  Supreme Court Justice Boopsie Smith?

knottie0a31e052a035644f

We'd love to put down nicknames in our save the dates and invitations.

ahoywedding

I go by a shortened version of my legal first name, and literally no one calls me by my legal name. It's a pretty obvious derivative (think Jenny from Jennifer), but I still put the shortened version on my invites. That's how people know me, that's how I'm most comfortable. One of my best friends is an Andrea-who-goes-by-Andi too, and she had Andi on her wedding invites. She loathes her legal name and didn't want to be addressed that way.

When addressing envelopes to our guests, we used the version of their name that they prefer. No ridiculous nicknames (like Boopsie, CMG I'm dying!), but Bob for Robert, etc. 

climbingwife

I used nicknames for our STDs. My husband is "Bobby", and has never been Rob, Bob, or Robert. So Bobby went on our STDs. I did use our full names for our invites. 

andisummers94

Wow thanks everyone! Y'all have all been really helpful. We're still not quite sure yet but I'm gonna bring these points to Cam and see what he thinks.  Also LOL at "Boopsie"