Hi, everyone! Let me start by saying, I am a refugee from WW. lol.
I have a complicated situation with FH's family.
My fiance and his mother have been estranged for more than 10 years. She has severe mental illness and substance abuse problems; and they have not spoken, until recently. FH recently added her as a friend on FB. He has very strong feelings about not inviting her to the wedding, after we have discussed it a few times. I have never met the woman, and I friended her too, but she has restricted access to my account. She can't see any of my posts unless they are tagged. My caution to him on reconnecting with his mom is, she now knows we're engaged. And she may very well ask him if she is invited to the wedding. We don't post any details about the wedding on social media, of course. I know it is his choice how much distance he needs from his mother; but I can't help but wonder if he is going to have a change of heart; and how this will play out.
Mental illness and substance abuse has lead his sister down a similar path. We have custody of our niece because his sister has been in and out of rehab and an abusive relationship with her boyfriend. She has put us through a tremendous amount of grief. We love her 8 yr old daughter as our own and have had custody for a year. She is going to be the flower girl in our wedding. However, Our relationship with FH's sister is so strained--she hardly shows up for visitation and he is certain she won't show up for the wedding if we do invite her.
I have a ton of resentment for FSIL because of how her daughter has been neglected by her. That and FSIL said some really horrible things about me. The only time she ever contacts her brother is to ask for money; never asks how her child is. I really don't want to invite her, either. But as it's her daughter who is FG, it seems like really bad etiquette to exclude her too.
Anyone with experience with estranged or toxic family (or in-law) members who can share their wisdom with me?