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Pre-wedding Parties

Do I need a bridal shower?

We didn’t have an engagement party, and my fiancé and I were originally thinking of a couples shower. But, with only a few months to go til the wedding, we don’t have much room left in the budget for a venue that would be accommodating enough for JUST family up to aunts/uncles/cousins. We both have large families. I’m not even really interested in a bridal shower, which is why I was more into a couples shower. But now, looking at the guest size and the headache of picking and choosing to narrow it down to a size that would fit into a house in February, how necessary is this party? Especially if we didn’t have an engagement party?

Re: Do I need a bridal shower?

  • This isn’t something to stress about- the couple doesn’t throw their own shower.  Extremely poor taste as PP said- a shower is a gift giving event.  There wouldn’t be anything tackier than a self-hosted shower.

    If your mother/sister/friend etc offers to throw you a shower and you don’t want one, simply decline.
  • Yeah, I wouldn't worry about this.  If someone offers to throw you a shower, it's essentially a gift to you, so they get to call the shots--you can accept or decline their generous offer, of course, if it doesn't work for you due to timing/family issues/you just don't want one.  Anyone that offers should ask for a guest list (usually within a parameter: ie, "I can host up to 30 guests"), but that's about all the say you get.  By putting men and women on the guest list, you essentially turn it into a co-ed/couples' shower.  
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    As PPs have said, the couple/bride doesn't throw their own shower. If someone offers to host one, you can accept or decline. As for guest, you don't have to invite the entire wedding list. Showers are normally for close friends and family not all family. Normally the bridal party is invited, but not required to attend. The mothers of the bride and groom are invited as are grandmothers. Extended family would depend on how close the bride is to the person.
  • Many couples do not get showers or engagement parties.  My own daughter did not.  They are not required.  If someone wants to give you one, that is fine, but you do not have any say in this.  You can supply a list of people who will be invited to your wedding, but you do not have any say in how many people your hostess will invite.  This is something that someone else gives to you - not something that you control.  To ask someone to give you a shower is extremely rude.
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