Wedding Woes

I'd probably never invite her again.

Dear Prudence,
The other night I had some of my neighbors over for a glass of wine. One guest let me know she’d be bringing her toddler. She barely supervised the child, who wandered everywhere; took and left food around the house (we recently had a mouse problem and are trying to keep things extra-clean); dipped fingers into lit candles then wiped wet wax on my wooden table; played with our remotes, cables, and phones; and pulled out and opened my husband’s Lego sets. I noticed a small but sentimental item was broken but didn’t say anything.

Everyone was delighted with the child but me. Mom left a mess on the table when she excused herself to return home to her husband, who had prepared dinner. I feel a little stressed, unsure about realistic hosting expectations, and overall unappreciated by my guest. How can I do this better next time—if at all? What would be good boundaries for me with someone else’s child in my home?
—Hosting a toddler

Re: I'd probably never invite her again.

  • Or maybe invite her over later in the evening when the kid may be in bed? Or wait a few years for the kid to be a little more behaved.
    charlotte989875
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    yeah, I'd say no invites for awhile. 

  • Yeah, I'd say no more invites or no toddlers.  


  • Why didn't LW say something, especially the candle!?

    I would say no more invites. Not just because LW isn't a babysitter but because the parent isn't paying attention to the child when they're out. Kids or not, I don't want the kid getting hurt in my place because their parent isn't watching.
    <a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2018-06-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
    short+sassy
  • @mrsconn23 - Suzie's mom had a whooooollleee lot of baggage. Even without the berry incident, we were never meant to be friends. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    charlotte989875short+sassymrsconn23
  • It's great everyone was delighted by the child, they were not the ones cleaning up or repairing broken items. No more invites until Mom decides to watch her child appropriately. 
    short+sassy
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I once had another mom bring her 1 year old to my house and feed her berries on my living room rug. The mom asked me "how much do you care about this rug?" I was like "well about $2,000 worth, why?" "because Suzie dropped berries on it." No bitch, YOU gave Suzie berries and she's 1. Of course she dropped them. I never blamed Suzie. That kind of thing is ALL on the parents.

    I never hung out with her again.
    This story makes my eye twitch. Suzie’s Mom is the WORST. 


    image
  • Well, we all know I discipline people's kids on the regular, so that's how I'd go with it. (Did I tell you guys the "never speak to me or my son ever again" story from when I was in Texas? I couldn't believe I got memed in real life!) And then she'd obviously never come to my house, because HOW DARE I. 

    I'm starting to understand why everyone thinks Bacon is just amazing, though. I disciplined her. Duh. 


    image
    short+sassy
  • I have zero qualms telling toddlers not to touch things in my home! Hot wax?!? “Stop that!” And then take it away!


    This was my reaction exactly. Even if it isn't my child, this would be my automatic reaction, followed by checking for burns.  How is it okay to let your kid go around sticking their hands in hot wax repeatedly (at least I'm assuming it wasn't a one off thing if there is wax smeared everywhere)?

    imageimage
    charlotte989875
  • baconsmom said:
    Well, we all know I discipline people's kids on the regular, so that's how I'd go with it. (Did I tell you guys the "never speak to me or my son ever again" story from when I was in Texas? I couldn't believe I got memed in real life!) And then she'd obviously never come to my house, because HOW DARE I. 

    I'm starting to understand why everyone thinks Bacon is just amazing, though. I disciplined her. Duh. 


    No!! Please do! My BIL and his girlfriend use that one all the time!
    MissKittyDanger
  • @baconsmom please tell us!

    I get that it sucks to have to parent your kid while out but you know what, that's what you have to do.

    Even today I ultimately chose that because DD forgot her snow pants she's not playing in the snow at recess.   Maybe that makes me a terrible person to her but I keep telling her to remember her stuff.  I'd never let her go without lunch (at least at this age) but if playing outside on the blacktop one day this week is the way she needs to remember some personal responsibility for things then come on kiddo.  When your kid is a 1 yo you need to be on top of them the entire time.   It sucks - but it's what you do if you don't want to be a shitty parent. 
    short+sassycharlotte989875
  • The host is totally entitled to let guests of any age know what’s okay and what isn’t.  My kids can be real pieces of shit sometimes but not in other people’s homes.  
    The toddlers who behave this ^ way are the elementary school age kids who trash the basement playroom and don’t clean it up and the tweens who brashly ask the host for the WiFi password before the even say hello.
    short+sassy
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