So my girls in my WP consist of my sisters as Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor, and 4 friends. The friends are all close knit, we all are in a group chat, and do wine night together regularly for many years. 4 of the 5 of us used to work together, and we all stood up in 1 of the girls weddings last year.
I was a little iffy on who to ask to stand up in my wedding. To have an even wedding party I only had 2 spots open as my FH has 4 guys. I thought about it for weeks, and decided to ask them all for multiple reasons, and to keep things more drama free than choosing 2 of the 4. So we will have an uneven WP, but oh well.
TBH my gut was not happy a week or so after I asked them all to be in it... I should've stuck with my original "just family and maybe 1 friend" plan. I knew something was going to make me regret it.
The one I was most iffy on, I've actually been friends with the longest (10 years). We used to be extremely close, we drifted apart after she hurt me MULTIPLE times and I forgave but never forgot. We still remained friends, but not attached at the hip like we used to be. But because of our history and her being in multiple friends groups of mine, I couldn't imagine not asking her if I asked other friends. To add to it, her uncle is my photographer, and her sister is my make up artist (also a friend).
This week she started yelling at me via text, saying I tried to take down her business. I had no idea what was going on, she just started this MLM business last month. I realized it's because I told a mutual friend that I would never buy the product she sells because of all of the complaints on the internet about that product. I never told said friend to not buy it, I simply said I wouldn't, and to do her research. Also, I had already texted my BM beforehand, to say I didn't think it was a good idea to sell this product. I was upfront and honest with her first, not two-faced. She ignored me and kept selling it anyways, which is fine, thats her choice. She sent me 30 text messages today yelling at me, including things like "you are a terrible friend, I am done with this friendship, don't talk to me again". She then started apologizing, and begging for forgiveness when she realized what she was doing. As she's apologizing to me, she is texting a mutual friend and completely bashing me (doing the exact thing she accused me of doing, except WAY worse and making it personal).
My gut says I should talk to her and tell her that she can still come celebrate with us, but not as a BM. Try to keep it somewhat friendly, but I really do not want her standing up next to me for a day i'll remember the rest of my life. I'm not even sure I like her as a person anymore. I realize this may end my friendship for her, but honestly who needs a "Friend" who does this stuff? I was already on the fence about asking her, and this just showed me her true colors even more. I'd explain how she has done a lot of things to hurt me and other people throughout the years, and I'm sick of feeling like this, and don't need extra stress leading up to that day.
I'm just not looking forward to the drama of the mutual friends, photographer and make up artist... which is really the only thing holding me back.
I was going to offer to buy her bridesmaids dress. That is the only thing shes paid for, and she's also actually the only BM who hasn't offered to help me with planning at all. Not that that is required, but again.. just shows that I have much better friends.
What would you do?