Hi everyone. I am the maid of honor in an upcoming wedding. The bride
has chosen not to register, as she and her fiance are already living
together and have everything they need for their home. They've made it
clear that the only thing they would like is money toward the
honeymoon. I'm not 100% sure, but I think they may have set up a
honeymoon registry.
The problem is, the other bridesmaids still
want to throw her a bridal shower and I'm sure the bride is expecting
one. Honestly, I would love to throw her a bridal shower, but I'm not
sure how that works if you're not registered anywhere. I mean, the
thought of inviting people to a bridal shower and just requesting cash
seems so rude and seems like such a breach of etiquette to me. Also, I
thought the whole point of a bridal shower was to watch the bride open
up gifts. If people are giving to a honeymoon fund, there would be no
gifts to open.
The other bridesmaids seem to see no problem with
sending invitations out requesting cash gifts and/or donations to the
honeymoon fund. I just can't get behind it. But at the same time, I
don't want to cause a problem and I don't want the bride to not get a
shower. I don't know the other bridesmaids well at all and I don't want
to make anyone mad or upset.
I've been trying to think of ways
around this. I've tried hinting to the bride that maybe she wants to
create a small registry just of things she'll need for the wedding. She
could register for picture frames and albums for wedding pictures, a
cake topper, toasting glasses, cake serving set, guest book or signature
frame, aisle runner, etc. That way guests who want to give a physical
gift can do so. I'm also thinking that if her registry is really small
people will probably take the hint that she mainly wants cash, do you
think so?
However, I don't know if the bride will go for this
idea. She seems adamant about no registry. So if she forgoes the
registry, what are my options? It seems they're going ahead with the
shower with or without me and I really don't want to let the bride
down. Is there any less rude way of doing this? Maybe we can send
invitations out with no registry info, no mention of cash or gifts at
all, and then if people ask we can tell them, "Oh, Bride has not
actually registered, but she is saving up for a honeymoon!" Something
along those lines maybe? Any advice or suggestions are greatly
appreciated! I really want to make everyone happy without being rude to
the guests!
