RSVP help!

danielandkaren2018

I'm putting together my RSVPs (which are driving me nuts lol), and I'm worried about guests trying to bring everyone and their mother. After lots of deliberation my solution is to word it along the lines of:

"We have reserved ____ seats in your honor
Name/s______________
____of____accepts with pleasure 
____of____declines with regret"

then I would fill out the numbers individually. Here is where it gets tricky: I want to add an RSVP page on my wedding website for those that might find it easier to do it online. I am linking it using google docs so I could fully customize it as I wasn't a fan of the RSVP page here on the knot. However, the paper RSVPs being sent out will be personalized as to the number of guests they can each bring; I'm not sure how to word it online to the same effect. Does anyone have any advice? Also am I wrong for wanting to customize it based on the guest?
My reasoning is because while I'm ok with my cousin and husband bringing their children I'm not ok with a single friend bringing her whole posse of 10 people just because. I ultimately wanted a small wedding and at this point it's a medium sized wedding so I'm hoping to keep it that way. 

ernursej

Invitations should be addressed to the guests invited. Everyone in a relationship must be invited with their significant other. If children in a family are invited, list each child by name. Truly single people don’t have to receive a guest but it may be nice to if you have room. 

If people RSVP with names other than were included on the invite, you simply call and say “I’m sorry, but the invite was for you and x only”. 

I did RSVPs individually so I had each guest’s name preprinted on the RSVP. 

ILoveBeachMusic

I don't quite understand the need for the lines "___of ___". You should have either ___declines or ____accepts. It isn't necessary to have "with pleasure" or "with regret" - some people resent being told how to feel. It is fine to have the number of seats reserved in the guests honor.

 @ernursej is right though, the invitation should make it clear as to who is invited. Only the people whose names are on the invitation are invited. For example Mr. and Mrs. John Smith does not include their children. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, Miss Jane Smith and Master James Smith includes their children. The parents would be first and the children would be underneath their parents' names with the oldest first. If people RSVP for more than who are actually invited, you call and explain who is invited. We did not have that problem with my daughter's wedding but know some people have had to do that.

charlotte989875

I think you’re making this way too hard on yourself. The people that are going to try to write in extra guests are going to do so whether or not you have numbers written in and customized google sheets. This sounds like a huge, unnecessary headache. 

Like PPs said above; address the invites to the people invited, have the number of seats set aside written in and leave it at that. When they RSVP if there are more than are invited you address it with them directly. 

I also think you should skip the GoogleSheets and just give people an email address to RSVP to if you want a non-paper option. It sounds to complicated to customize it and more hassle than it’s worth. 

danielandkaren2018

Thanks for the replies, I guess I am overcomplicating it. I think I am just gonna do the email RSVPs and leave it at that. My stress started when I started dealing wit the cultural differences, hes American and Im Mexican, Mexicans dont do RSVPs and when someone is invited its generally an open invitation, so its really been stressing me out to have that final headcount.

kahluakoala

I am using RSVP-ify for my online RSVPs, it offers a LOT more options than theknot and let's you select meals, specify how many people, etc. And you can collect RSVPs for other events like rehearsal dinner or brunch

CMGragain

I would do something like this:

We have reserved ____ seats in your honor
M __________________________________
----accepts
____declines

MairePoppy

Won't you be sending the same invitations with RSVP cards to all your invitees? Regardless of the response method, they will know exactly who is invited. 

CMGragain

You can always send the all of the RSVPs, but give an option of emailing them or telephoning.  We did that, and got about half written responses, and half other methods.

mollybarker11

danielandkaren2018 said:

Thanks for the replies, I guess I am overcomplicating it. I think I am just gonna do the email RSVPs and leave it at that. My stress started when I started dealing wit the cultural differences, hes American and Im Mexican, Mexicans dont do RSVPs and when someone is invited its generally an open invitation, so its really been stressing me out to have that final headcount.

Set the RSVP date a few days before your headcount is due. That way you’ll have time to reach out to anyone who does not respond (or who responds with extra guests) to get the correct numbers.

MairePoppy

danielandkaren2018 said:

Thanks for the replies, I guess I am overcomplicating it. I think I am just gonna do the email RSVPs and leave it at that. My stress started when I started dealing wit the cultural differences, hes American and Im Mexican, Mexicans dont do RSVPs and when someone is invited its generally an open invitation, so its really been stressing me out to have that final headcount.

That would stress me out, too. How would anyone manage a meal and proper hosting without a headcount? Your fi should follow up with anyone from his side that doesn't respond.