Need “jobs” for kids

augustgirl21

hello
There are 6 kids in my family that I would love to have a part of my wedding. 
2 (brother and sister) are going to be my ring bear and flower girl cuz I’m a bit closer to them than the others and the other four are close with each other that it would be unfair to choose one of them without all of them. (If that makes sense) 
Anyway I was thinking that I’d love to have the oldest (6 & 7) hand out programs. I’m trying to think of something else that the other kids (4 & 5) could help with during the ceremony. 
Ideas appreciated 
TIA

Jen4948

Don't ask the kids to "help out" by doing unnecessary jobs. Even small kids don't like that.

And I wouldn't try to shoehorn small kids into "roles" other than ring bearer or flower girl. If you don't want them to fill those roles, then just invite them as guests, take some nice photos with them, and perhaps do a special dance with them. But let it go at that. Especially if your sole reason for asking any of them to be in your wedding party is out of "fairness" to those whom you wouldn't otherwise ask.

southernbelle0915

Something they would probably appreciate a lot more than having a job would be to have activity packets like a coloring book and crayons, a small toy, bubbles, etc. 

Here's the thing - if the kids have "jobs" their parents need to supervise those jobs (they're only 4-7 y/o). It really limits how social their parents can be. As a parent, I'd be 162X more grateful to have an activity packet that would keep my kid entertained than having to buy a special outfit and having to stand there supervising my kid dole out programs. 

FTR, if the kids were older and didn't need supervision, I think this would be a different story.

eileenrob

Ditto PP- don’t worry too much about finding every kid a role.  My niece and one of my nephews were FG and RB, but my cousins’ kids didn’t have roles or tasks.  Along the lines of what @southernbelle0915 said, I did have coloring books, crayons, stickers and sticker books, and some action figures for all of the kids at the reception.
Worrying about every kid having a role would be like worrying about making every friend a bridesmaid.  You’re just closer to some people over others, that’s okay.

LondonLisa

augustgirl21 said:

hello
There are 6 kids in my family that I would love to have a part of my wedding. 
2 (brother and sister) are going to be my ring bear and flower girl cuz I’m a bit closer to them than the others and the other four are close with each other that it would be unfair to choose one of them without all of them. (If that makes sense) 
Anyway I was thinking that I’d love to have the oldest (6 & 7) hand out programs. I’m trying to think of something else that the other kids (4 & 5) could help with during the ceremony. 
Ideas appreciated 
TIA

Lol Ring Bear
 


But to echo PP- the children don't need 'jobs'. In fact, I think it will be much more stressful for everyone. Give them an activity book and let them enjoy the day. 

lovesclimbing

LondonLisa said:

augustgirl21 said:

hello
There are 6 kids in my family that I would love to have a part of my wedding. 
2 (brother and sister) are going to be my ring bear and flower girl cuz I’m a bit closer to them than the others and the other four are close with each other that it would be unfair to choose one of them without all of them. (If that makes sense) 
Anyway I was thinking that I’d love to have the oldest (6 & 7) hand out programs. I’m trying to think of something else that the other kids (4 & 5) could help with during the ceremony. 
Ideas appreciated 
TIA

Lol Ring Bear
 


But to echo PP- the children don't need 'jobs'. In fact, I think it will be much more stressful for everyone. Give them an activity book and let them enjoy the day. 

CMGragain

I had to do these made up jobs at some of my family weddings.  I hated it!  Mom kept telling me that it was a honor.  Well, I didn't feel honored!  I would much rather have been sitting with the family instead of handing out stupid programs.

MRDCle

southernbelle0915 said:

Something they would probably appreciate a lot more than having a job would be to have activity packets like a coloring book and crayons, a small toy, bubbles, etc. 

Here's the thing - if the kids have "jobs" their parents need to supervise those jobs (they're only 4-7 y/o). It really limits how social their parents can be. As a parent, I'd be 162X more grateful to have an activity packet that would keep my kid entertained than having to buy a special outfit and having to stand there supervising my kid dole out programs. 

FTR, if the kids were older and didn't need supervision, I think this would be a different story.

Yeah, as a parent I would just see me ending up passing out programs so my kid didn't make them all into paper airplanes or coloring pages.

Cosigning activity packets! 

holyguacamole79

Just let them be kids.  When I was 10 or so, my sister was the flower girl for a wedding.  The bride had the same idea as you, so I was the guest book attendant.  I was like, "really?"  Even at 10 I knew I was getting shafted.

Are all of these kids cousins?  Or are they all siblings?  

augustgirl21

@holyguacamole79 they are all my cousins. But some are siblings with each other. (3 sets of parents. 2 kids each) 
My FG and RB are siblings with each other and not as close to the other kids. 
The other four are 2 sets of siblings but are almost being raised as siblings since they live so close and are at their grandma's house during the days. 
So "splitting them up" would be odd. Which is another reason I decided on the other 2 cousins as RB and FG. 
I'm have a kids table at the reception with small toys for them to play with until they can run around on the dance floor.  

holyguacamole79

If they're not close, then I wouldn't worry.  Invite the 4 non-bridal party cousins and let them enjoy themselves.

When you say "kids table" - do you mean that you have a table just for those kids without adults?  I'd be careful about that because the parents may want them to be at their table .... it's might work, it might not.  Just be prepared to go with the flow.
 

southernbelle0915

augustgirl21 said:

@holyguacamole79 they are all my cousins. But some are siblings with each other. (3 sets of parents. 2 kids each) 
My FG and RB are siblings with each other and not as close to the other kids. 
The other four are 2 sets of siblings but are almost being raised as siblings since they live so close and are at their grandma's house during the days. 
So "splitting them up" would be odd. Which is another reason I decided on the other 2 cousins as RB and FG. 
I'm have a kids table at the reception with small toys for them to play with until they can run around on the dance floor.  

If the two who are FG/RB are kind of separate from the other 4, I would leave your plan as is. No need to rope in the other 4. Outside of FG/RB, no one (especially kids) expects a role. 

SoonToBeSmith0512

Are you assuming that the kids and their parents want to be involved or have they directly expressed an interest? If you’re simply assuming that they want to play a role I think the first step would be to verify that’s the case. If these are your cousins/siblings/nieces and nephews I assume you’re close enough to the parents to ask their thoughts!

If it is important to both the children/parents, AND you/your FI, then I don’t think it’s wrong to include them at all, though I do agree that auxiliary roles like program passer-outer or guest book attendee aren’t really honored roles. What about having one set of kids carry a family Bible or other special text for readings up to the alter, and another set (preferably older) light a candle or two honoring loved ones who have passed? It’s also not uncommon to have multiple flower girls or ring bearers, if that’s something you’d like to consider. 

If you can’t imagine your day without them included, go for one of these options that truly highlights them in the ceremony. If you’re just including them to include them or because you feel obligated to, maybe instead get a special cousins photo at the alter after the ceremony. 

Just remember, who you include in your wedding should be a reflection of who means the most to you and your FI. No need to assign roles just to assign roles, this isn’t Oprah “you get a role, and you get a role!”

Best of luck planning!