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California-Bay Area

MOG upset we didn't invite best man's daughter. What to do?

johnston09-2johnston09-2
First Anniversary
member
edited February 2018 in California-Bay Area

My fiancé and I are getting married in two months. We decided to not invite kids under 16 besides those in the wedding party because of limited room. We stated that on both the wedding invites and our website. We received a response from the Best man a few days after mailing the invites, asking if him and his wife can bring their daughter. She will be about 5 months old once the wedding comes. The Best man also texted the MOG but she contacted us to talk to him because she didn't want to get involved.

My FH and the best man are close but my FH had to explain to him that we politely requested no children because of limited room and because it wouldn't be fair for other guests that won't be able to bring their children, especially those who live a few hours away (I have about 15 kids just on my side that won't be able to attend).

Originally the best man said him and his wife would have someone take care of their daughter but now they are worried to leave her, but the best man seemed to respect our request once my FH called him and sent back their RSVP with only his name on it, which meant his wife planned to stay home to watch the baby.

Fast forward to now.

My FH calls me this morning, stressing out because his mother (MOG) contacts him and tells him how messed up it is that we aren't letting the best man and wife bring their child and that he should be an exception. She made him feel guilty for the decision we made together and its hurtful (but this is not the first time she has expressed her disagreement with us).

The MOG has been very helpful with the whole wedding planning but because of that, she tends to sometimes go overboard and tries to take over the planning herself without us knowing it.

I'm not sure how to go about this. I don't know who contacted who but my fiancé and I are confused as to what is happening. Did the groom contact the MOG to ask her about the baby now? Or did the MOG contact him to get an update after receiving the text last week? It's just confusing because my FH and I wouldn't see the best man doing something like this.

We don't know how it started but all we know is that its becoming a bigger argument than we anticipated. I'm a little upset with the MOG too for not being supportive with our decision. My FH and I mentioned to her from the start that we couldn't have kids because there are too many and there isn't enough room.

I talked to my mom (MOB) and she said we need to talk to the MOG and that the guests need to respect our request.

But I also understand that the best man and his wife have a newborn child and still nursing. My fiancé and I aren't close to the best man's wife but that doesn't mean we don't want her to come to the wedding and to not feel included.

The best man's parents will also be attending the wedding so that takes an option for a sitter out for them.

So, if they result to not finding anyone to take care of their baby and the wife has to stay home, would it be okay to let the baby attend, or would it just create conflict with other guests who couldn't bring their children? Is the baby to be considered part of the wedding party if she were to come?


I appreciate any advice you have!

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