Hi all -
I live in Montana and my mom has brought up the idea of having a 2nd reception in Michigan (where I grew up, and 2 hours from where my FH grew up) since we first got engaged.
FH and I said no - we didn't like the idea of a 2nd reception and thought it would be an unnecessary expense. People are excited about traveling to Montana for the wedding.
Fast forward to now (the wedding is in June). I get a call from my mom and she is bringing up the idea again, framing it as a post-wedding party for my parents' friends so that they can share in the joy etc and meet my FH. This seems even stranger to me. The party would be with my parents' friends (primarily, although we would also probably invite FH's parents and maybe a couple friends from MI who weren't able to make it to the wedding). I would know maybe 3/4 of the people they invite. FH wouldn't know any of them. It feels like we are being paraded around to my parents' friends and being grabby for presents. These people were not invited to the wedding. I offered to include them on the wedding guest list but mom said no because these people wouldn't be able to travel.
This is requiring that we take time off work and fly across the country for a party where we feel uncomfortable. My parents were extremely generous with paying for the wedding and I don't want to be ungracious, but am I missing something here? Is this normal? It is proper etiquette to invite people to an after-wedding party who weren't invited to the wedding? FH is also very uncomfortable with the $$ he perceives as being thrown around on this and also feels that a party with primarily my parents' friends would have us feeling 'paraded about'. I also feel weird that people we invited to the wedding would also potentially be there - and that people who are planning to attend the wedding will feel misled that now there is a reception they could have attended at much less expense in MI.
Has anyone heard of anything like this before? Is it normal? Am I being unreasonable/thinking about this the wrong way? Are my parents being rude? The party would be about 2 months after the wedding.
Edited to add: I forgot that I posted about this in a similar vein once before: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1077766/mom-throwing-bridal-shower-and-inviting-her-friends-who-arent-invited-to-the-wedding
But this is now a 'post' wedding party and my mom has framed it more as just a party to celebrate our marriage/unrelated to the wedding itself. My mom especially feels very strongly about this matter