Attire and Accessories

We're ready to reschedule over a dress

I hate dress shopping. I have been to 4 appointments and have only had one positive experience.
 I went with my mom and FMIL and my mother actually said "I don't see the big deal, she could just wear her old one (from my 1st wedding) and we just won't tell (FH)" to FMIL. 
Another boutique didn't have anything I had picked out in their look book complete with the sales consultant telling me "that won't fit to try on" when I pointed to one on the mannequin, and I found it in my size by myself 5min later. 
A third quoted a dress at 575 just for me to get to the checkout and "our bad, there's a 1 in front of the 5, it's hidden in the dollar sign "
I actually broke down crying because nothing has been fitting and consultants tell me to buy and then we can see what it would look like in the right size. Other boutiques are telling me I'm running out of time to even get a dress. FH wants me to be happy but going to any dress appointment now just seems like a chore or getting a root canal. I don't want to go anywhere at this point. I don't know what to do. 

Re: We're ready to reschedule over a dress

  • apwifey said:
    I hate dress shopping. I have been to 4 appointments and have only had one positive experience.
     I went with my mom and FMIL and my mother actually said "I don't see the big deal, she could just wear her old one (from my 1st wedding) and we just won't tell (FH)" to FMIL. 
    Another boutique didn't have anything I had picked out in their look book complete with the sales consultant telling me "that won't fit to try on" when I pointed to one on the mannequin, and I found it in my size by myself 5min later. 
    A third quoted a dress at 575 just for me to get to the checkout and "our bad, there's a 1 in front of the 5, it's hidden in the dollar sign "
    I actually broke down crying because nothing has been fitting and consultants tell me to buy and then we can see what it would look like in the right size. Other boutiques are telling me I'm running out of time to even get a dress. FH wants me to be happy but going to any dress appointment now just seems like a chore or getting a root canal. I don't want to go anywhere at this point. I don't know what to do. 
    First; When is your wedding? Unless it's this weekend you definitely have time to order. 

    Second; these places sound awful, how were the reviews online? There is one boutique in my city that everyone knows not to go to because they are terrible to anyone who isn't a street size 0 (seriously I'm street size 10 and they tried to get me to "try on" a bridal size 4. Yeah, no that's not happening and I'm not buying a dress I can't put on). 

    Third; try focusing on silhouettes or shapes that you like, rather than specifics? And maybe call a head of an appointment to see if they actually have what you want to see in person. No use going all the way there if they're not going to have what you want. 

    Fourth; do you have any Nordstrom's/Saks/Barney's in your area that would carry bridal lines? Or if you're looking for something less traditional a department store might be a good place to look. 

    Dress shopping definitely isn't always fun, but it also shouldn't be this bad. Sorry you've had such a hard time. 
  • I’m so sorry your experiences have been negative. In terms of rescheduling, try to keep things in perspective. The wedding is about marrying your spouse, not a dress. You could marry your partner wearing pajama pants and a T-shirt and you’d be just as married. 

    That said, take a deep breath. Make an appointment at another boutique for just you to go shopping alone. When you get there, tell them that you do not want to see anything over $X. Check price tags and ask them to confirm prices before you try on (telling them about your prior experience to emphasize the importance of the price being correct). 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    CMGragainahoyweddingcharlotte989875
  • apwifeyapwifey
    Seventh Anniversary First Comment
    member
    I asked him if I had to get a new dress and it's FH that's pushing. I would be happy with a dress I wore to a military ball a few years ago and he said no, this is special you need a dress 
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited March 14
    I went shopping for my wedding dress alone.  My family was a mess, and Mom refused to go with me.  (Two divorces going on, including one of hers!)  After six stores, I found the perfect dress and the perfect price.  Try going solo.  Don't forget to look at the previous seasons rack.  You may find the perfect dress there!
    Remember, you don't need to the find the PERFECT dress.  You need to find a wedding dress that looks nice and fits your budget.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • apwifey said:
    I asked him if I had to get a new dress and it's FH that's pushing. I would be happy with a dress I wore to a military ball a few years ago and he said no, this is special you need a dress 
    I would communicate with him that you have found it stressful and upsetting and would be happiest in x that you already own. Find out why he thinks you need a special dress. There are a lot of people who do something because “it is what it done” which is not a good reason to do something. 

    In saying that, if the end goal is to get a new dress, I would suggest to take advice above about starting from scratch with another store or two. Only go with someone who is supportive and allow yourself several hours and to try anything and everything on. I was shocked that I ended up with a strapless gown when I had initially refused to try one on. 
    ahoyweddingcharlotte989875short+sassyInLoveInQueens
  • downtondivadowntondiva
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited March 14
    PP's have given a lot of good advice on this so I'll just add a couple of my own thoughts.

    While it's all very well and good for your FH to say he wants you to get a new dress and wants you to be happy, he's not the one going through this. You need to put your own feelings first here. Don't be shy about explaining to him how frustrating this experience has been for you and why this has you considering wearing a dress you already own. Wearing a dress you've worn before won't make your wedding day any less special; after all, at one time it was the custom for most women to wear the best dress already in their closet when they got married! 

    And if you are going to get a new dress, do you absolutely have to have an actual wedding dress? How would you feel about finding an evening gown in white or ivory, or maybe even one in a color that you love? As a bride, you should get to wear something you feel great in, and that doesn't necessarily have to be the "traditional" white wedding dress. If that's what you want, then go for it, but don't be afraid to explore other options if you think it'll help. Again, do not let your FH make this decision for you. 

    Whatever approach you decide to take, I hope you find something to wear to your wedding that makes you feel beautiful, and that these bad shopping experiences will just be a memory you can move on from. Best of luck.





    image
    SoonToBeSmith0512ahoyweddingcharlotte989875short+sassy
  • PP's have given a lot of good advice on this so I'll just add a couple of my own thoughts.

    While it's all very well and good for your FH to say he wants you to get a new dress and wants you to be happy, he's not the one going through this. You need to put your own feelings first here. Don't be shy about explaining to him how frustrating this experience has been for you and why this has you considering wearing a dress you already own. Wearing a dress you've worn before won't make your wedding day any less special; after all, at one time it was the custom for most women to wear the best dress already in their closet when they got married! 

    And if you are going to get a new dress, do you absolutely have to have an actual wedding dress? How would you feel about finding an evening gown in white or ivory, or maybe even one in a color that you love? As a bride, you should get to wear something you feel great in, and that doesn't necessarily have to be the "traditional" white wedding dress. If that's what you want, then go for it, but don't be afraid to explore other options if you think it'll help. Again, do not let your FH make this decision for you. 

    Whatever approach you decide to take, I hope you find something to wear to your wedding that makes you feel beautiful, and that these bad shopping experiences will just be a memory you can move on from. Best of luck.





    This is great advice. Macy’s, Dillard’s, etc. have MANY formal gowns to chose from, a great number of which come in white/ivory and actually look very bridal, in case that’s important to you. And you can buy several options in your size online, try on at home, then return what doesn’t work. 

    I had similar frustrations finding shoes. Nothing fit right, nothing looked right, and I was about to call it quits and wear Keds under my wedding dress - nothing wrong with that if it’s your thing, but I had my heart set on finding the perfect bridal heel. Someone suggested to me that I buy a bunch of shoes online (from Macy’s in my case) and try them on at home. I bought like 6-7 pairs so the shipping was free (it is over $50 or something), found a pair I loved, and returned the rest in-store at no cost to me. Perhaps you’ll have similar luck doing the same with evening gowns!

    Best of luck!!
    ahoyweddingcharlotte989875
  • One of my friends had a similar situation. She got married out of state, in her hometown. She went to like 8 or 10 boutiques with her mom & some friends in her home city (major city in the US) and found nothing. She also went to a few shops in the city we live in when her mom was visiting here and found nothing. This whole process ended a couple months before her wedding.

    Then one of our friends suggested a smaller shop here, and a couple of them went during the workday. She found a dress she loved right away and the shop was able to order her a dress in time to get any alterations done (I think they may have even offered to ship it to the city her wedding was in). 

    I'm sorry you've had this experience. Everyone makes a big huge deal out of the wedding dress, but at the end of the day it's just a small part of one day. I would ask your FI why he's insistent you buy a new dress and be open with how much stress it's causing you. Maybe go shopping with a different group of people. Check out some non-bridal stores. And even consider somewhere like David's. They have dresses at all price points, and from my experience won't make you try on crazy things you probably won't like. They're a little busier and less personal than other boutiques, but that could be helpful too. They didn't have time to linger over us and I could try on dresses as quickly as I wanted. The pricing was pretty up front, and they even had someone from alterations give me an estimate for that before I made the final purchase. 
    short+sassy
  • apwifey said:
    I asked him if I had to get a new dress and it's FH that's pushing. I would be happy with a dress I wore to a military ball a few years ago and he said no, this is special you need a dress 
    But I'm sure you've vented all this stress and frustration to him, too, right? And he insists you keep going? This doesn't sound like a dress problem to me.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    short+sassyernursej
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    I'm seconding (thirding? fourthing?) the advice to be open to evening gowns. I found my wedding dress in the evening gown section of Nordstrom. There are lots of white/ivory/beaded gowns at those types of stores and they stock a variety of sizes, not just samples. And the salespeople are not pushy or even non-existent. You can even order online with free returns at some of these places. Plus? An evening gown is often cheaper than a "wedding" dress! 
    ________________________________


    short+sassyernursej
  • If you decide to go to more bridal salons, don't hesitate to call first (but do it when it's not typically busy, like a weekday morning). If it's someplace that has a "look book" like David's Bridal, ask about specific style numbers and what sizes they have in stock to try on. If it's a regular bridal salon, ask about what sizes they have available, and how many dresses they have in the various sizes that may fit you, and if you have specific styles of dresses in mind, ask about that "I'm looking for a lace dress with a halter neckline. Do you have any available to try on that would fit a street size 18? It's fine if it doesn't zip up of course, but I clearly can't try on a street size 4 and get an idea of what it looks like". 
    short+sassy
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards