Etiquette

Do I pay for brunch?

I want to invite my girls to brunch to ask them to be my bridesmaids. Am I supposed to pay for brunch because I’m inviting them and it’s kind of a special occasion? Or is it like a normal time we all go eat and everyone pays for themselves? This may be a stupid question, but I just want to make sure. Thanks!

Re: Do I pay for brunch?

  • It would be a very nice gesture!
  • I completely agree that you need to ask each person individually about being a bridesmaid, away from anyone else you're planning to ask. Do not put anyone on the spot by doing this in a big group. People may have questions they want to ask before accepting, or may have to tell you that they cannot do it, and that will be super awkward to do in front of other people. 

    If you want to treat everyone to brunch after the wedding party is set, I do think that would be a lovely gesture and a lot of fun. But don't use it to actually ask them to be in your wedding.
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    ahoywedding
  • Ditto PP's. Ask everyone separately, just in case someone may need to decline for whatever reason. Asking them privately also gives you a chance to get their dress budget. Of course, if you were planning to let them choose their own dress or if you planned to pay for the dresses then their budget isn't an issue. 

    It would be lovely to plan a celebration brunch once the wedding party is set though! In that case, I would say you should pay for the brunch and make it about celebrating THEM, not you.
    short+sassy
  • knottieb147f005a79e566d said:
    I'm letting them pick their dresses and they all already know I'm going to ask so budget and saying no shouldn't be an issue. But I didn't think about those things you all mentioned and I'll probably go ahead and ask separate and then host a brunch for them later. Thanks for your advice!
    Good call. Even though saying no "shouldn't" be an issue (of course not when these people are close to you!) that's all the more reason it heightens the pressure to say yes - especially in an excited group setting - even if someone really can't swing it for whatever reason.
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  • knottieb147f005a79e566d said:
    I'm letting them pick their dresses and they all already know I'm going to ask so budget and saying no shouldn't be an issue. But I didn't think about those things you all mentioned and I'll probably go ahead and ask separate and then host a brunch for them later. Thanks for your advice!
    Good call. Even though saying no "shouldn't" be an issue (of course not when these people are close to you!) that's all the more reason it heightens the pressure to say yes - especially in an excited group setting - even if someone really can't swing it for whatever reason.
    I feel like any kind of proposal just shouldn't be done in public with an audience. 

    We see in the news of stories where someone said yes to a proposal because s/he felt like it wasn't possible to turn it down with people and cameras but later felt like it was a mistake.    

    I think a celebratory brunch once the BP is asked is a really nice gesture though. 
    ahoyweddingmollybarker11MesmrEwe
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