Mocking boss

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I work in a small department of a large company. My boss is childish and can be invasive. Last week, she texted me before work asking me to pick up a gallon of ice cream. I told her I did not have any money. She responded by teasing me about spending my tax return already—she had overheard me talking about having to use my refund to buy a new car since mine gave out. Then she heard I traveled to a friend’s wedding over the weekend and commented that I have my priorities mixed up and should have helped with the ice cream. She also made fun of my hearing loss a few weeks ago: She tapped on my window while I was cleaning and pretended to use sign language, then laughed. She’s known for acting like this, and HR does nothing about it. Suggestions?

—Childish Boss

charlotte989875

Document what she's doing; days, times, exactly what she says and does. She's clearly unprofessional and mocking a disability is ridiculous (and if this is repeated, probably an ADA violation). Take them to HR, document what you took to them & when. If they continue to ignore it start looking for another position because that's definitely not a company you want to keep working for. 

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

Document what she's doing; days, times, exactly what she says and does. She's clearly unprofessional and mocking a disability is ridiculous (and if this is repeated, probably an ADA violation). Take them to HR, document what you took to them & when. If they continue to ignore it start looking for another position because that's definitely not a company you want to keep working for. 

All of this.  You can be the squeaky wheel but unless there are some very clear violations of the law you need to be aware of what opening the can of worms can do.

It doesn't make the boss right at all.   But in any job or industry be careful about complaining up the food chain.  

mrsconn23

charlotte989875 said:

Document what she's doing; days, times, exactly what she says and does. She's clearly unprofessional and mocking a disability is ridiculous (and if this is repeated, probably an ADA violation). Take them to HR, document what you took to them & when. If they continue to ignore it start looking for another position because that's definitely not a company you want to keep working for. 

Yes. I think that is the whole reason HR is blowing this person off...they don't have specifics.   LW needs to understand that they need to have their shit together to have a case.  And if this really is what's going on, the LW has several levels of complaints, ADA being the whopper (along with harassment and hostile work environment).  

banana468

I'm also going to add that I suspect that the LW is young and may need to develop a bit more of a backbone and some improved financial management skills - assuming the position she has offers her this.

Her boss asked her to pick up a gallon of ice cream.  Neither her response nor the boss' response were actually appropriate IMO.   Don't tell your boss that you don't have money.   That opens the door for critiques.  IMO the better response is, "I can do that and will anticipate being approximately 30 minutes late.   Will I be reimbursed from petty cash or should I input an expense report?"  

Photo copy that receipt and then scan it in the email to the boss for your tracking.  Say, "Per our conversation here is the receipt for the gallon of ice cream.   Please confirm how I will be reimbursed for the company expense." 


Her boss may be an absolute jerk and certainly sounds like it - but I also wonder if the LW needs to work on her assertiveness. 

southernbelle0915

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence,

I work in a small department of a large company. My boss is childish and can be invasive. Last week, she texted me before work asking me to pick up a gallon of ice cream. I told her I did not have any money. She responded by teasing me about spending my tax return already—she had overheard me talking about having to use my refund to buy a new car since mine gave out. Then she heard I traveled to a friend’s wedding over the weekend and commented that I have my priorities mixed up and should have helped with the ice cream. She also made fun of my hearing loss a few weeks ago: She tapped on my window while I was cleaning and pretended to use sign language, then laughed. She’s known for acting like this, and HR does nothing about it. Suggestions?

—Childish Boss

I have a hard time believing that, at a large company, LW documented an issue where their boss mocked their hearing loss by faking sign language and HR did nothing. Escalate within HR.

But I have a feeling this person isn't actually documenting their issues or filing complaints with HR. 

short+sassy

banana468 said:

I'm also going to add that I suspect that the LW is young and may need to develop a bit more of a backbone and some improved financial management skills - assuming the position she has offers her this.

Her boss asked her to pick up a gallon of ice cream.  Neither her response nor the boss' response were actually appropriate IMO.   Don't tell your boss that you don't have money.   That opens the door for critiques.  IMO the better response is, "I can do that and will anticipate being approximately 30 minutes late.   Will I be reimbursed from petty cash or should I input an expense report?"  

Photo copy that receipt and then scan it in the email to the boss for your tracking.  Say, "Per our conversation here is the receipt for the gallon of ice cream.   Please confirm how I will be reimbursed for the company expense." 


Her boss may be an absolute jerk and certainly sounds like it - but I also wonder if the LW needs to work on her assertiveness. 

Overall, I agree.  But we don't know the LW's situation.  When she said she couldn't do that because she didn't have any money, she may have meant that literally.  Especially when I was younger, I know I had times where the $2 or $5 I had in my wallet was all the money I had until my next paycheck.  I did have a couple credit cards I could use jic, but the LW may not. 

banana468

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

I'm also going to add that I suspect that the LW is young and may need to develop a bit more of a backbone and some improved financial management skills - assuming the position she has offers her this.

Her boss asked her to pick up a gallon of ice cream.  Neither her response nor the boss' response were actually appropriate IMO.   Don't tell your boss that you don't have money.   That opens the door for critiques.  IMO the better response is, "I can do that and will anticipate being approximately 30 minutes late.   Will I be reimbursed from petty cash or should I input an expense report?"  

Photo copy that receipt and then scan it in the email to the boss for your tracking.  Say, "Per our conversation here is the receipt for the gallon of ice cream.   Please confirm how I will be reimbursed for the company expense." 


Her boss may be an absolute jerk and certainly sounds like it - but I also wonder if the LW needs to work on her assertiveness. 

Overall, I agree.  But we don't know the LW's situation.  When she said she couldn't do that because she didn't have any money, she may have meant that literally.  Especially when I was younger, I know I had times where the $2 or $5 I had in my wallet was all the money I had until my next paycheck.  I did have a couple credit cards I could use jic, but the LW may not. 

Agree.   LW may not have the cash but this is hopefully a lesson if possible especially if she would be able to buy a gallon of ice cream by the next check.   The use of a CC can be helpful when you know you'll pay it off and a bit of coaching may help this LW to grow up a bit.