Wedding Woes

Is this the flipside of that naming letter from last week?

Dear Prudence,

I am pregnant with my second child. We named our daughter after my husband’s sister who died from leukemia when he was a child. Now that we’re having a boy, I want to honor my father, who died when I was 17. My mother has taken this as a slight against her. When my father died, my mother immediately moved on and was remarried within the year. I reacted badly (I dumped paint on her boyfriend’s car when he moved in with us), and I wasn’t able to find some perspective until I was out of college.

My parents were not happy in their marriage. My mother and I reconnected when my daughter was born, and the last few times we flew out to see her and my stepfather, the visits were painless. Now I don’t even want to return her calls. She called me “thoughtless” and “ungrateful” for not thinking of her family and her feelings. She even went so far as to call my uncle and grandfather (who also recently died) “better men” than my father. My husband suggested we change our son’s middle name from my maiden name to my uncle’s or grandfather’s name as a peace offering. I don’t think I have it in me to offer my mother anything.
—Not Your Name

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Re: Is this the flipside of that naming letter from last week?

  • Oh. My. Friggen. Gawd.

    Why are families so adamant about being involved with the naming of a child that they aren't birthing?
    short+sassyInLoveInQueensMesmrEwe
  • I can maybe understand a grandparent and/or close friend/family member giving some input on names.  Perhaps not being happy with the final decision.  But then they need to keep it to themselves.  I don't understand the anger and alienation over a name.

    Why wouldn't the joyfulness of a new baby on the way COMPLETELY override whatever unfounded bitter feelings there are?  It's terrible.

    input/suggestion is fine.
    Personally, once M and I had chosen diff names and narrowed down to a couple we would mention it to family to see what their suggestion was.
    {we had a hard time with boy names so they only knew options for boys}
    short+sassy
  • levioosa said:
    I feel strongly about the name bff chose for her kid, but only because I think he's going to get made fun of A LOT once he gets to school. I'm not threatening to break off a relationship though. I just can't bring myself to say his name. I call him "Buddy" when I see him. 
    Yikes, how bad is it? :\
    TrixieJessernursej
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2018
    I’m leaning towards this isn’t the same family as last week, bc there’s no way that mom would’ve omitted the paint-on-the-car incident.  Although the downside of my hunch is that there are two families out there that really care that much about baby names.  Unless someone told me they were planning on naming their baby Shithead (or something like that) I couldn’t imagine weighing in or caring.

    edit- spelling 
    short+sassycharlotte989875
  • levioosa said:
    I feel strongly about the name bff chose for her kid, but only because I think he's going to get made fun of A LOT once he gets to school. I'm not threatening to break off a relationship though. I just can't bring myself to say his name. I call him "Buddy" when I see him. 
    I have a friend that named her child something that I ran through all the names he was going to be called with FI. Even when I told my mother her kid's name, she picked one of the "nicknames" and said, "why would she saddle her kid with that name?" We actually went through all the names we had and tried to make fun of them. I really wanted one name because it would have honoured FI's family name, but one of my friends shot it down by listing all the ways it would be made fun of, it never made the short list. 
  • eileenrob said:
    I’m leaning towards this isn’t the same family as last week, bc there’s no way that mom would’ve omitted the paint-on-the-car incident.  Although the downside of my hunch is that there are two families out there that really care that much about baby names.  Unless someone told me they were planning on naming their baby Shithead (or something like that) I couldn’t imagine weighing in or caring.

    edit- spelling 

    I know this isn't the "Confession" thread, but now I want to do a search on YouTube and see footage of someone doing this, lol. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    ei34MissKittyDangercharlotte989875
  • levioosa said:
    I feel strongly about the name bff chose for her kid, but only because I think he's going to get made fun of A LOT once he gets to school. I'm not threatening to break off a relationship though. I just can't bring myself to say his name. I call him "Buddy" when I see him. 
    I have a friend that named her child something that I ran through all the names he was going to be called with FI. Even when I told my mother her kid's name, she picked one of the "nicknames" and said, "why would she saddle her kid with that name?" We actually went through all the names we had and tried to make fun of them. I really wanted one name because it would have honoured FI's family name, but one of my friends shot it down by listing all the ways it would be made fun of, it never made the short list. 
    My parents did this but kids are creative.
    Parents thought I was safe.
    "Katie Katie big fat lady" was said when I was 6 :|
  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2018
    @MissKittyDanger - My parents picked names for my eldest brother and I that couldn't be shortened...people shortened them...

    ETA: what the hell Knot, I just tried to post 3x and it disappeared. 
    MissKittyDanger
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    @MissKittyDanger - My parents picked names for my eldest brother and I that couldn't be shortened...people shortened them...

    ETA: what the hell Knot, I just tried to post 3x and it disappeared. 


    Me too. Adrienne got shortened to Ade and then, of course, the AIDS jokes happened all through school.

    There's always going to be a way to make fun of every name. Kids are creative (I was shocked when I first met H in high school and I was the first one to add "ass" to his last name that somewhat kind of a little bit sounds like "smells like").

    But I also agree that if I were going to be a parent I'd do the same thing as you, Trixie, and see if I could figure out what the jokes would be and pick a name that minimizes them.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • kvruns said:
    levioosa said:
    kvruns said:
    levioosa said:
    I feel strongly about the name bff chose for her kid, but only because I think he's going to get made fun of A LOT once he gets to school. I'm not threatening to break off a relationship though. I just can't bring myself to say his name. I call him "Buddy" when I see him. 
    is your BFF one of the Duggars and if so is it the one who named her kid Spurgeon
    I literally can't decide if Spurgeon is better or worse than what she named her kid. 
    then you HAVE to share. Set a time limit and delete in an hour if you're afraid of it being seen. Or give us a rhyming word.  haha
    This. We must know. Everyone: promise you will not quote it and then let @levioosa edit her post. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    ShesSoColdcharlotte989875OliveOilsMom
  • @MissKittyDanger - My parents picked names for my eldest brother and I that couldn't be shortened...people shortened them...

    ETA: what the hell Knot, I just tried to post 3x and it disappeared. 


    Me too. Adrienne got shortened to Ade and then, of course, the AIDS jokes happened all through school.

    There's always going to be a way to make fun of every name. Kids are creative (I was shocked when I first met H in high school and I was the first one to add "ass" to his last name that somewhat kind of a little bit sounds like "smells like").

    But I also agree that if I were going to be a parent I'd do the same thing as you, Trixie, and see if I could figure out what the jokes would be and pick a name that minimizes them.

    Kids are dicks.

    Tbh I've had more issues with older people because they can't comprehend my legal name is technically a shortened name.

    Anyone got an idea how to make fun of BabyKitten?
    Name gonna be Michelle.
    Nicknames - I'll prob use Mickey, but there's Elle, Mick, Mickey Mouse {which isn't bad *shrug*}
    Am I missing something else?
    TrixieJess
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    @MissKittyDanger - My parents picked names for my eldest brother and I that couldn't be shortened...people shortened them...

    ETA: what the hell Knot, I just tried to post 3x and it disappeared. 


    Me too. Adrienne got shortened to Ade and then, of course, the AIDS jokes happened all through school.

    There's always going to be a way to make fun of every name. Kids are creative (I was shocked when I first met H in high school and I was the first one to add "ass" to his last name that somewhat kind of a little bit sounds like "smells like").

    But I also agree that if I were going to be a parent I'd do the same thing as you, Trixie, and see if I could figure out what the jokes would be and pick a name that minimizes them.

    Kids are dicks.

    Tbh I've had more issues with older people because they can't comprehend my legal name is technically a shortened name.

    Anyone got an idea how to make fun of BabyKitten?
    Name gonna be Michelle.
    Nicknames - I'll prob use Mickey, but there's Elle, Mick, Mickey Mouse {which isn't bad *shrug*}
    Am I missing something else?

    Mi-shmell. Shelly with a big fat belly.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    OliveOilsMom
  • kvruns said:
    @misskittydanger Shelly is a nickname for Michelle.  Smelly Shelly, Shelly Belly  (as a Kelly I'm well acquainted with these). 

    The reality is where there is a will there is a way when it comes to kids being mean. 
    Really? I didn't know that
  • @MissKittyDanger - My parents picked names for my eldest brother and I that couldn't be shortened...people shortened them...

    ETA: what the hell Knot, I just tried to post 3x and it disappeared. 


    Me too. Adrienne got shortened to Ade and then, of course, the AIDS jokes happened all through school.

    There's always going to be a way to make fun of every name. Kids are creative (I was shocked when I first met H in high school and I was the first one to add "ass" to his last name that somewhat kind of a little bit sounds like "smells like").

    But I also agree that if I were going to be a parent I'd do the same thing as you, Trixie, and see if I could figure out what the jokes would be and pick a name that minimizes them.

    Kids are dicks.

    Tbh I've had more issues with older people because they can't comprehend my legal name is technically a shortened name.

    Anyone got an idea how to make fun of BabyKitten?
    Name gonna be Michelle.
    Nicknames - I'll prob use Mickey, but there's Elle, Mick, Mickey Mouse {which isn't bad *shrug*}
    Am I missing something else?
    Mitch, Michie, Mushie, Moochie (I know 4 Michelles, I have to call them by last names in FI's presence. 
  • Side note: writing all these down to let M know
    Dammit .... I thought we were somewhat safe! Lol
  • Side note: writing all these down to let M know
    Dammit .... I thought we were somewhat safe! Lol
    LOL, even with my "short" first name, people made fun of my last name because it rhymed with something bad. I just owned it. My last name can spawn it's own jokes so I usually make them myself. 

    My son I saddled with his father's annoying to spell last name which no one will ever pronounce or spell correctly. It's a learning experience. 
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2018
    Okay....no one quote me....

    .....and they frequently call him by both his first and middle name. 


    image
    charlotte989875OliveOilsMom
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its

    ......


    .........


    I got nothin' Levioosa. Like, that name is so bad it makes fun of itself. I don't even need to come up with something shitty to say.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    charlotte989875levioosa
  • @levioosa

     Image result for trying not to laugh gif


    Now I will say that BIL is into interesting (epic?) names along that vein, so I am curious what they will name my new nephew that's due in 2 weeks.  It definitely could be worse, but using first and middle to refer to their kid is ...speshul. 

    levioosa
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