NJ/NY Wedding License Question

Knottie1473900528

Hi All,

I wasn't able to locate a board that specifically addresses but I'm hoping someone could help!

I live in New Jersey but will be getting married in New York state. My question is, if I go to the courthouse in NJ a week before the wedding (to factor in waiting period timing), can we sign our wedding license and be legally married before the wedding date. Then on the day of the wedding, the ceremony the officiant performs will be just that, more of a "performance" as opposed to having legally binding properties.

I will even see if the NJ courthouse can post date the license to become effective the day of the wedding.

I'm just really trying to avoid having to go through the New York state marriage license process - I'm getting married in a super small town in the Catskills and the few times I tried getting information out of them regarding this, it was painfully unhelpful.

Thanks!

climbingsingle

Knottie1473900528 said:

Hi All,

I wasn't able to locate a board that specifically addresses but I'm hoping someone could help!

I live in New Jersey but will be getting married in New York state. My question is, if I go to the courthouse in NJ a week before the wedding (to factor in waiting period timing), can we sign our wedding license and be legally married before the wedding date. Then on the day of the wedding, the ceremony the officiant performs will be just that, more of a "performance" as opposed to having legally binding properties.

I will even see if the NJ courthouse can post date the license to become effective the day of the wedding.

I'm just really trying to avoid having to go through the New York state marriage license process - I'm getting married in a super small town in the Catskills and the few times I tried getting information out of them regarding this, it was painfully unhelpful.

Thanks!

From what I understand, if you are getting married in NY, you can get a marriage license in any town in NY. Where in NJ do you live? Just drive over the border (with your FI, because they will need to be present) and get the license. The whole process was extremely easy. We went to town hall, got the license right away, and then just mailed it after our ceremony. The certificate was waiting for us when we got home from our HM. 

What you're talking about doing is very dishonest. Getting married at the courthouse is then your actual wedding. 

ShesSoCold

Knottie1473900528 said:

Hi All,

I wasn't able to locate a board that specifically addresses but I'm hoping someone could help!

I live in New Jersey but will be getting married in New York state. My question is, if I go to the courthouse in NJ a week before the wedding (to factor in waiting period timing), can we sign our wedding license and be legally married before the wedding date. Then on the day of the wedding, the ceremony the officiant performs will be just that, more of a "performance" as opposed to having legally binding properties.

I will even see if the NJ courthouse can post date the license to become effective the day of the wedding.

I'm just really trying to avoid having to go through the New York state marriage license process - I'm getting married in a super small town in the Catskills and the few times I tried getting information out of them regarding this, it was painfully unhelpful.

Thanks!

Welp, this is something you should have thought about when you were planning and booking your venue. I can't imagine planning a wedding and then deciding that it won't actually be a wedding at all, but a skit to avoid inconvenience.

I know that in IL, you get your marriage license like the week before and then after or during the ceremony, everyone signs and dates it and then you mail it in. You have to have a ceremony (although IDK if or how it's enforced).

Marriage licenses are pretty straight forward, what are you having issues with with the county? Most county websites should have any and all info you need.

If you do decide to get married before your "wedding", please make sure your guests know and please don't have a ceremony because it won't be anything more than a skit.

MRDCle

Knottie1473900528 said:

Hi All,

I wasn't able to locate a board that specifically addresses but I'm hoping someone could help!

I live in New Jersey but will be getting married in New York state. My question is, if I go to the courthouse in NJ a week before the wedding (to factor in waiting period timing), can we sign our wedding license and be legally married before the wedding date. Then on the day of the wedding, the ceremony the officiant performs will be just that, more of a "performance" as opposed to having legally binding properties.

I will even see if the NJ courthouse can post date the license to become effective the day of the wedding.

I'm just really trying to avoid having to go through the New York state marriage license process - I'm getting married in a super small town in the Catskills and the few times I tried getting information out of them regarding this, it was painfully unhelpful.

Thanks!

The NY marriage license process looks basically like the Ohio one, and I can tell you...it's really not that cumbersome.  You and your FI go and show them your IDs, give them $40, and they give you the license. This might be a helpful resource as opposed to calling the small town where you're getting married: https://www.health.ny.gov/publications/4210/

lovesclimbing

Knottie1473900528 said:

Hi All,

I wasn't able to locate a board that specifically addresses but I'm hoping someone could help!

I live in New Jersey but will be getting married in New York state. My question is, if I go to the courthouse in NJ a week before the wedding (to factor in waiting period timing), can we sign our wedding license and be legally married before the wedding date. Then on the day of the wedding, the ceremony the officiant performs will be just that, more of a "performance" as opposed to having legally binding properties.

I will even see if the NJ courthouse can post date the license to become effective the day of the wedding.

I'm just really trying to avoid having to go through the New York state marriage license process - I'm getting married in a super small town in the Catskills and the few times I tried getting information out of them regarding this, it was painfully unhelpful.

Thanks!

I'm curious why you think it's so arduous? From my reading, it's super easy and very standard to most states. In fact, I read about New Jersey's requirements as well, and New York's are easier!

Both states have pretty similar applications. NY's is slightly more expensive ($40 vs. $28). 

In NJ, however, you have to apply in the city where you live. NY doesn't have that requirement. In NJ, there is a three/day waiting period. NY's is only one day. In NY, you can start the process online. 

There is lots of information online here. https://www.health.ny.gov/publications/4210/

Like climbingwife said, hop across the border one day and get the license. Or apply on the way to your wedding. If you're getting married on a Saturday, get it on Friday on the way up as long as it's more than 24 hours before the ceremony. 

ahoywedding

The NY marriage license procedure doesn't seem complicated at all, and is less time consuming than the NJ procedure. Also, if you haven't gotten the answers you need from your venue, why haven't you checked anywhere else? Our venue didn't give a crap whether our ceremony was legal or not. Our officiant was the one who walked us through the process and told us what we needed to do. But our process in NC seems like NY's in that it's relatively a piece of cake.

It kind of seems like you're looking for a reason to justify having a PPD, in a situation that really doesn't have any reason for one. (Not that there's ever a reason, but in a destination wedding I can see why the thought would cross someone's mind.)

ei34

Getting the NY marriage license was a breeze.  I don’t understand why you’re treating it like you’re on the west coast and need to come all the way to NY.  It doesn’t get much closer than NJ.

And it’s beyond tacky to deceive your guests. 

Edit spelling 

MobKaz

Knottie1473900528 said:

Hi All,

I wasn't able to locate a board that specifically addresses but I'm hoping someone could help!

I live in New Jersey but will be getting married in New York state. My question is, if I go to the courthouse in NJ a week before the wedding (to factor in waiting period timing), can we sign our wedding license and be legally married before the wedding date. Then on the day of the wedding, the ceremony the officiant performs will be just that, more of a "performance" as opposed to having legally binding properties.

I will even see if the NJ courthouse can post date the license to become effective the day of the wedding.

I'm just really trying to avoid having to go through the New York state marriage license process - I'm getting married in a super small town in the Catskills and the few times I tried getting information out of them regarding this, it was painfully unhelpful.

Thanks!

I don't know about you, but officiants I know tend to have ethics and integrity when it comes to "job performance". 

LOL.  I'm sure for you the courthouse will have no issue forging and falsifying documents to make your life easier.

InLoveInQueens

Lol, it's literally filling our and signing a form and paying a fee, you make it sound like to get a license in NY you need to donate plasma and run a marathon.

The only thing to care about is the 24 hour waiting period, but no one here is going to suggest you do anything but just make a trip to literally any county clerk's office in NY (since you can use the license in any other county in NY) up to 60 days before your wedding.

Don't lie to your guests and play pretend dress up, get married when you actually say you're getting married. Anything but is just rude and childish.

CharmedPam

I'm from Illinois and got married in NY.  We got our licence the morning of October 31st.  It took 5 minutes.  Wait no, she was on the phone with someone when we walked in so 7. 
We then got married on November 1st at 4:00 p.m.  You just need 24 hours after getting the license (like most states).  You live a state over and depending where - it may be a hop, skip and a jump away from the closest NY town (doesn't have to be where you're getting married).  Easier than what I had. 

OwningAHome1981

Former NY bride here - it's the easiest process ever.

knottie8607d0b125d0dcbf

Can’t believe these responses are real, I hope you didn’t follow any of this judgmental and retrograde advise, it was 2018 anyways. If you decide you sign a paper on a different day that your ceremony who cares! it’s all about celebrating with the people you love, during Covid a lot of people did just that. And between NJ and NY, people should look at legal forums, I can’t believe this is one of the top results for that search.

ILoveBeachMusic

knottie8607d0b125d0dcbf said:

Can’t believe these responses are real, I hope you didn’t follow any of this judgmental and retrograde advise, it was 2018 anyways. If you decide you sign a paper on a different day that your ceremony who cares! it’s all about celebrating with the people you love, during Covid a lot of people did just that. And between NJ and NY, people should look at legal forums, I can’t believe this is one of the top results for that search.

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