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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Vows after Domestic Abuse

I am working on writing my vows, but feel like I need a couple ideas to help navigate through the beginning of them. This is my second marriage.  My first marriage was awful.... I am a domestic abuse survivor.  You can imagine the worst, and that's what it was.  While I do not want the feel of the vows to start off negative, I do feel it is important to convey the state of emotion I was in prior to meeting my finance.  And on the flip side, how incredibly amazing and wonderful my life is now, because of him.  I have been trying to search YouTube for inspiration, but I'm only coming up with basic wedding vows.  If you have written anything similar or can think of a video I should watch, please let me know!

Re: Vows after Domestic Abuse

  • I agree with other posters. I would keep more towards how wonderful your life is now and not spend time comparing it to how things were in the past for you.
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    MairePoppyei34ahoyweddingSTARMOON44
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I am working on writing my vows, but feel like I need a couple ideas to help navigate through the beginning of them. This is my second marriage.  My first marriage was awful.... I am a domestic abuse survivor.  You can imagine the worst, and that's what it was.  While I do not want the feel of the vows to start off negative, I do feel it is important to convey the state of emotion I was in prior to meeting my finance.  And on the flip side, how incredibly amazing and wonderful my life is now, because of him.  I have been trying to search YouTube for inspiration, but I'm only coming up with basic wedding vows.  If you have written anything similar or can think of a video I should watch, please let me know!
    The point of your vows is not to express your past, but to convey your trust and willingness to commit to a new reality together. You are exchanging promises and your intentions as you move forward together as a couple.

    I personally do not think that your vows is the proper time or place in which to discuss/acknowledge your past.  If you feel the need to make a public declaration, perhaps it might be something you could acknowledge in a brief toast?




    STARMOON44
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Congratulations on healing and moving on with your life. I agree with the other women. Concentrate on the positive, the present and the future. 
                       
    ahoywedding
  • I am very happy that you got away from your abuser and are now in a loving, supportive relationship. However, I don't think it's a good idea use your vows (or anything at the wedding) to talk about how badly you were doing when you first met your FI. Even if you think right now that you can talk about it calmly, you may find yourself getting emotional about it during the ceremony, and not in a good way. Keep the focus on the happiness ahead of you and not the pain behind you. 


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    short+sassycharlotte989875ahoywedding
  • Vows are the promises you make to each other not a recap of your life story 
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