Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bachelor Party- Best Man has no solid plans

Hello All,
I am reaching out to you regarding my fiancé’s Bachelor Party. Our wedding is 3 months away, and the Best Man still has no solid plan for the Bachelor party. My fiancé has mentioned that he hasn’t heard anything yet about a party or plans. Now I am unsure if I should try reaching out to the Best Man to nudge him to see if he has any dates or a month in mind or at the very least a plan?! 

Thanks in advance! 

Re: Bachelor Party- Best Man has no solid plans

  • Hello All,
    I am reaching out to you regarding my fiancé’s Bachelor Party. Our wedding is 3 months away, and the Best Man still has no solid plan for the Bachelor party. My fiancé has mentioned that he hasn’t heard anything yet about a party or plans. Now I am unsure if I should try reaching out to the Best Man to nudge him to see if he has any dates or a month in mind or at the very least a plan?! 

    Thanks in advance! 
    Has the Best Man previously offered to host the Bachelor Party? If not, absolutely do not ask, he is under no obligation to plan anything, no one is. If he did offer, still don't get involved. He might want to plan something still or might not, don't involve yourself in this. No one is entitled to a party thrown in their honor, and asking for one is just rude.
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    H’s friends took him out for drinks a week before our wedding...they did call it a bachelor party but texted him like three days prior.  I’ve thrown a couple of splashier bachelorette parties myself but wasn’t really planning three months out, if that relieves any worry.  (Not that this is something to get too worried about.)
  • Are you marrying a literal child? Your future husband can talk to his own friends. This isn’t your problem. 
  • Three months??  Unless your group of friends involves a lot of people who married and going on summer vacations or having to travel from all over the country a bachelor party does NOT require a lot of planning.    

    Even when they do, there's still not a lot that has to be done.    I'd tell him to relax.   Regardless of whatever happens, please DO NOT say anything.   


  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2018
    Just out of curiosity, have you changed your idea regarding your wedding ceremony?  You originally posted that you planned on having an “intimate, immediate family” only wedding ceremony, and said that if "friends and other family members were upset or disappointed”, you would be "prepared" for that.
     
    There may be some discretion when it comes to this particular pre-wedding event, but your wedding ceremony guest list may be preventing your FI’s BM from a strong guest list for a bachelor party.
  • The best man is not obligated to throw a bachelor party.  If he decides to throw one, great, but if not, no big deal. Neither you nor your FI should say anything.
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  • The BM is afraid to tell you which strip club they're likely going to for fear you'll show up and either upstage his complementary lap dance or play the "how dare you" card.  Really - what the PP have said - stay out of it, keep on planning as-if there isn't one until you hear otherwise. 

    If you are going to talk with someone, it should just be your FI alone about it not being the night before the wedding because of the RD (if you're having one) and most of all finishing up last second details and getting a full night's sleep to not be hung over for the wedding itself.  If anything that's one thing it's o.k. to be mindful of, but otherwise, just stay out of it.  
  • Stay out of it. Also, my H's friends took him out for dinner and drinks and it was planned maybe 3 days in advance. Chill. 
  • Stay out of it.  This is none of  your concern.  
  • Whatever might or might not happen between your FI and his wedding party members, you should leave it between them and stay out of it.
  • I get that you want your FI to have a bachelor party and have his friends celebrate with you. But it really is up to them to plan it for him. It's not like the don't know bachelor parties are a thing. If they want to plan one, they will. 

    For what it's worth, my H's friends planned it in like two weeks. 
  • I get that you want your FI to have a bachelor party and have his friends celebrate with you. But it really is up to them to plan it for him. It's not like the don't know bachelor parties are a thing. If they want to plan one, they will. 

    For what it's worth, my H's friends planned it in like two weeks. 
    I think DH's was planned the day before... 
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