Snarky + Negative Coworker NWR

NBSquared2017

Have you ever had a friend/coworker who was petty and negative about EVERYTHING? A coworker texted me to snark about another coworkers engagement ring.

The direct quote was “I wouldn’t ask about the ring because it’s just a gold band from what I could tell. I obviously zoomed in”

I responded, “Not everyone likes diamonds”

Ugh. So annoying 

[Deleted User]

I have an acquaintance like that.  She likes to complain and bitch and be petty about everyone/everything around her.  She loves drama, but only if she is the one stirring up the drama.  But when someone is snarky about her or to her then she is all "I don't need you in my life!"  Basically she loves to dish it out but can't take it.

MairePoppy

Your answer was spot on, but you aren't required to answer her TMs either. I'd delete any remarks that didn't have to do with work, hoping she'd get the hint after a while.

[Deleted User]

MairePoppy said:

Your answer was spot on, but you aren't required to answer her TMs either. I'd delete any remarks that didn't have to do with work, hoping she'd get the hint after a while.

This is a great idea.  Or you could just be direct and tell her that you do not appreciate being texted snarky comments about other coworkers because you find it unprofessional and rude.

LondonLisa

I have someone like this, it is so exhausting! I tend to make general, defending but shutting down the conversation statements. For example, in your example I would say, very neutrally,  "Well, it seems to make Susan happy, and isn't that all that matters. Did you try that new software IT installed?" 

It essentially says "I'm not getting sucked into your drama. I do not want to participate in your conversation".

She'll get bored of you not feeding her drama soon enough. 

short+sassy

NBSquared2017 said:

Have you ever had a friend/coworker who was petty and negative about EVERYTHING? A coworker texted me to snark about another coworkers engagement ring.

The direct quote was “I wouldn’t ask about the ring because it’s just a gold band from what I could tell. I obviously zoomed in”

I responded, “Not everyone likes diamonds”

Ugh. So annoying 

I think a better question is, "Who hasn't?", lol.

I really disliked some of my coworkers at my last job.  It was a real soul-sucking place.

My current job is SO much better coworker-wise.  But there's always one, lol.  I worked here for 3 years (at the time)...pretty happy.  Then, due to tightenings and layoffs, I was transferred to another department.  BB was the manager.  She's a really negative person and usually made me feel like I was annoying her, any time I went to talk to her.  I felt like I was walking on egg shells.  I was also moved out of my office and into a cube near her.  Quickly became miserable.  And started hitting up the want ads, when I normally wouldn't have dreamed of doing that because I liked the company and all my other coworkers.

Plus she would monitor my comings and goings like a hawk.  We're just not really that kind of place.  And she herself was usually 5-10 minutes late every day, had multiple conversations/texting with her H and family all day long, and would pop downstairs for a smoke 4-5x/day.  So I had a lot of umbrage when she scolded me on the rare occasion I was 5 minutes late back from lunch or if I took a brief, personal phone call.  Which maybe happened 2-3x/week. 

After 3 months working in her department, REPRIEVE.  The only other person in the previous department I worked in...quit.  He was really excited for the job opportunity he got, but I think I was even more ecstatic about it, lol.  I went back to my old office and picked back up what I'd previously been doing plus that guy's job.  It's about two years later and I'm still responsible for helping out with overflow from BB's dept., but I don't have to deal with her too much and I'm back to being happy at work.  Weeelll, as much as one can be, lol.  

CharmedPam

I have a coworker just like that.  She'll let  you know if your e-ring (or any ring) is to small.  

NBSquared2017

I've had a ton of issues with her in the past. She has an unrealistic expectation of what a friendship should be. At one point she was asking FH and I to do something with her now ex-boyfriend every weekend. I've curbed her for the most part and let her know I needed space, so now it's just rude and random comments about everyone else because she's so unhappy with her life. 

short+sassy

CharmedPam said:

I have a coworker just like that.  She'll let  you know if your e-ring (or any ring) is to small.  

Who does that?!?  At least @NBSquared2017's coworker didn't say that directly to her coworker (that we know of).  Not that gossiping about it is fine either.

I'd probably make some passive-aggressive statement like, "Oh, I know!  But my fingers and hands are just so fine and dainty that I can't get away with large stones and big, clunky rings."

NBSquared2017

short+sassy said:

CharmedPam said:

I have a coworker just like that.  She'll let  you know if your e-ring (or any ring) is to small.  

Who does that?!?  At least @NBSquared2017's coworker didn't say that directly to her coworker (that we know of).  Not that gossiping about it is fine either.

I'd probably make some passive-aggressive statement like, "Oh, I know!  But my fingers and hands are just so fine and dainty that I can't get away with large stones and big, clunky rings."

People are crazy. I work part-time retail and I get a ton of compliments on my ring! Most customers assume I dictated what I wanted and I have to correct them. FH put in a ton of reconnaissance and hacked my Pinterest and had the e-ring specifically designed based on what I had pinned.

I had a lady tell me a few weeks back I should make sure to ask for an upgraded diamond on our anniversary. I had to tell her it was my most favorite thing and I would not be upgrading a thing about it. People can be the worst lol 

short+sassy

NBSquared2017 said:

short+sassy said:

CharmedPam said:

I have a coworker just like that.  She'll let  you know if your e-ring (or any ring) is to small.  

Who does that?!?  At least @NBSquared2017's coworker didn't say that directly to her coworker (that we know of).  Not that gossiping about it is fine either.

I'd probably make some passive-aggressive statement like, "Oh, I know!  But my fingers and hands are just so fine and dainty that I can't get away with large stones and big, clunky rings."

People are crazy. I work part-time retail and I get a ton of compliments on my ring! Most customers assume I dictated what I wanted and I have to correct them. FH put in a ton of reconnaissance and hacked my Pinterest and had the e-ring specifically designed based on what I had pinned.

I had a lady tell me a few weeks back I should make sure to ask for an upgraded diamond on our anniversary. I had to tell her it was my most favorite thing and I would not be upgrading a thing about it. People can be the worst lol 

That is awesome!

When I was in college, I had a couple who were one of my roommates.  They started talking about getting engaged, but he hadn't officially popped the question yet.  She worked p/t as a nanny for a wealthy couple.  The H was a doctor, but the couple had lived frugally, way back when during his schooling and residency.  She was chit-chatting with the mom and mentioned they were going shopping for engagement rings.  That woman gave her a piece of advice that, although I don't agree with, thought was hilarious.  She said something like, "Honey, get your dream ring NOW.  Don't let him tell you that you all will upgrade in the future.  Because then the house comes.  Then the kids come.  Then the kitchen needs to be remodeled.  And you will never get that bigger diamond, lol."

NBSquared2017

short+sassy said:

NBSquared2017 said:

short+sassy said:

CharmedPam said:

I have a coworker just like that.  She'll let  you know if your e-ring (or any ring) is to small.  

Who does that?!?  At least @NBSquared2017's coworker didn't say that directly to her coworker (that we know of).  Not that gossiping about it is fine either.

I'd probably make some passive-aggressive statement like, "Oh, I know!  But my fingers and hands are just so fine and dainty that I can't get away with large stones and big, clunky rings."

People are crazy. I work part-time retail and I get a ton of compliments on my ring! Most customers assume I dictated what I wanted and I have to correct them. FH put in a ton of reconnaissance and hacked my Pinterest and had the e-ring specifically designed based on what I had pinned.

I had a lady tell me a few weeks back I should make sure to ask for an upgraded diamond on our anniversary. I had to tell her it was my most favorite thing and I would not be upgrading a thing about it. People can be the worst lol 

That is awesome!

When I was in college, I had a couple who were one of my roommates.  They started talking about getting engaged, but he hadn't officially popped the question yet.  She worked p/t as a nanny for a wealthy couple.  The H was a doctor, but the couple had lived frugally, way back when during his schooling and residency.  She was chit-chatting with the mom and mentioned they were going shopping for engagement rings.  That woman gave her a piece of advice that, although I don't agree with, thought was hilarious.  She said something like, "Honey, get your dream ring NOW.  Don't let him tell you that you all will upgrade in the future.  Because then the house comes.  Then the kids come.  Then the kitchen needs to be remodeled.  And you will never get that bigger diamond, lol."

Haha!! She sounds like a wise woman.

I like my ring - I have big hands so I was really particular about my setting. He got the perfect ct. and size! I rather put that money towards a rocking vacation than upgrading the center stone. I probably won't wear the e-ring much after I get the band!

thisismynickname2

I've worked in big enough places where I can easily just avoid the Negative Nancys/Normans, but I can think of two occasions where I actually just told them off.  For one, a guy was raining on this girl's parade, and I just snapped at him, "What does it matter? Can't you just let her be happy?"

People who comment negatively on others' engagement rings are really just jealous AF, in my opinion. 

banana468

LOL!

I love my two rings.   I think they are perfect for my hand and size.  

What I don't love is that the winter has made my skin chap and swell so they're on me whether I like it or not.