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Registry and Gift Forum
wedding registry and honeymoon fund?
My fiance and I are registering at Bed Bath & Beyond, as well as Amazon. My question is would it be tacky to also include a Honeymoon Fund? I like the idea of having one but don't know the proper etiquette, if you're "allowed" to have both types or not.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Re: wedding registry and honeymoon fund?
It's just registering for money, and most are deceitful to guests. If people want to give you money, they'll put it in an envelope. No need to let some company take a cut, or fool guests into thinking they're actually buying you an experience.
If you keep the "traditional" registries small, people will also get the hint.
That's the non-crass way to go about that.
Honeyfunds merely collect the contributions, help themselves to a cut, and give you whatever cash remains. They do not buy "honeymoon experiences" for the couple. Tl:Dr: Honeyfunds are a bait-and-switch.
OP, have a tiny registry (and no shower!) and people will get the hint and give cash. Just don't take anyone up on offers for gift-giving pre-wedding events.
Seriously this forum is ridiculous with all the uptight, know-know-it-alls who push far too many young and stressed out brides-to-be to make decisions based on localized and outdated etiquette. These 'helpful brides' are just living in a bubble thinking if you cant afford a grand ol traditional, debt inducing wedding.. then you don't deserve one at all. God forbid people want to celebrate their love with family and friends without being judged by callous socialites.
seriously though, people here will help you (General you) have an easy, low stress wedding planning experience. So many other places with encourage you to spend money/ time/ effort on details that don’t really matter and to ignore taking care of the people you supposedly care the most about. Here, we encourage people to cover the basics (chairs, food, appropriate covering for weather, and treating guests with respect and consideration); the rest is free to do what you want. It really isn’t that hard.
Eta: bolding
I've never once seen someone here recommend debt. And the bolded sentence doesn't even make sense - if you can't afford a wedding that includes debt, then you don't deserve one? Literally if something includes debt, you can't afford it.
Weddings and celebrations of love are wonderful things. That's why (most of us) we're here. And to help men and women plan weddings that are within their budget and enjoyable for everyone involved. I'm sad that our recommendations of treating guests well is constantly misconstrued here as we're the assholes. How is being good to people a bad thing?
If you hear us say that guests need to be treated well and you choose to hear "go into debt and we'll judge the shit out of you", that's really your problem and not ours.
And this blue collar, middle class suburbanite who has to borrow clothes to go to nice events is flattered to be judged as a "socialite".
Edited for typo.
Socialites? I come from a blue collar family and work 50 hours a week.
Asking your guests to pay for your honeymoon will ALWAYS be tacky.
Because I’ve been letting you know the truth for free. Honeyfunds are tacky. Now if we could get paid for it...
Del
Serious question- if what you want is cash and a guest decides to gift you $100, do you want the full $100 or $85-90? Honeymoon fund sites take a cut for themselves, just FYI. In addition to being crass they don’t even make financial sense.
There is this myth that every wedding reception has to include a fancy sit down dinner and a big poofy dress, but you are just as married with a courthouse wedding and a cake and punch reception.
Even if you have an extensive registry, you will still get cash gifts. People know that young couples need money. My D and son in law registered for everything from sheets to blenders, but some people still gave money. You don't have to ask for it.
And as a gift giver, I know from experience that I am way more generous with people who don't act entitled than with those who do. This is just human nature. People like to feel generous, not as if they are meeting some demand.