Missing wedding photos

Knottied22c34d1eeb01a8e

Hi all, 
I need some advice. I just got my wedding photos back from the photographers and I noticed that they didn't get any pictures of me&hubs with my grandparents, my brother, or my nephew who was also the ring bearer. I'm so upset because I obviously can't turn back time to get those pictures and it was a destination wedding so any pictures I try to re-create won't be the same.  Their excuse was "they didn't know that those pictures were important to me." Really? Obviously it would be important to me to have a picture with my grandparents on my wedding day, I shouldn't even have to tell them that! Before the wedding, I did send a list of all the group photos I wanted and I even talked to the photographer about that list, so that excuse is just unacceptable to me! What makes it worse though, is that they totally had time to get all of the pictures I wanted, but instead of doing that, they took like 50 family portraits of my cousin's family...not sure why they were so focused on that one family when it's my wedding they should have been photographing.  

I did get pictures from some of my guests, but still none of us with my grandparents/brother/nephew. It's not like they were hiding or anything either, they were around us a lot that day so i'm surprised there are no pictures of us with them.  Every time I look at my wedding pictures, I think about the ones i'm missing and I can't help but get sad about it. Am i ever going to feel better about this and do you have any ideas about how I can make this better?  I appreciate any ideas!!! 
Thank you,

ILoveBeachMusic

I'm very sorry you are disappointed in your wedding pictures. It sounds as if you did the things that you should have - like communicate with your photographer about what you wanted and gave them a list  of pics that were important to you. Unfortunately, there really isn't anything you can do about it.

You have every right to be upset for a bit but then you need to move on. Look at the pictures that you do have and remember your day. Focus on the things that went right. Remember you are now married to your H! That is all that really matters. Your pictures won't be something that you will be looking at a lot - trust me. I've been married for 35 years and have hardly looked at my wedding pictures. Many ladies on here have said the same thing.

As for what else you can do, maybe you can have a portrait made with you, your H and your grandparents - not a wedding style one, just a portrait. Maybe your photographer would be willing to cut you a deal.

Have a glass of wine, relax and enjoy being newlyweds. Congratulations on your wedding.

charlotte989875

That sucks and I'm sorry they left it out. Especially after you gave them a list, which presumably had these shots listed. I'm curious though did you not pose for these pictures, or were they just not included in the ones they sent? If it's the former there isn't much you can do; if the later you could ask for those even though they're not edited. 

I agree with @ILoveBeachMusic above try and focus on the beautiful pictures you do have, focus on the fact that you're married (yay!!), and at the next big family event (reunion? Birthday party? Anniversary party?) hire a photographer to specifically get the pictures you want. 

ahoywedding

I have the same question as Charlotte. Did you not even pose for those pictures? It really sucks if you gave the photographer a list and they ignored it, but that was also something you could have spoken up about the day of. "Hey, while we're doing posed family photos, don't forget we need one with the grandparents!" 

If you did take them but they weren't included in the bundle your photographer sent over, you can always request those be edited and sent to you. 

ernursej

Agree with above. If the photographer didn't shoot them and you requested them, you can ask them to make up for it. Perhaps a mini session with your Grandparents or even just some of the money back. It will depend on your contract and how you phrase things. Remember to be polite but let them know that you are disappointed and want to understand how it didn't happen.

thisismynickname2

A little late to this but... You wrote, "Their excuse was "they didn't know that those pictures were important to me." Really? Obviously it would be important to me to have a picture with my grandparents on my wedding day, I shouldn't even have to tell them that! Before the wedding, I did send a list of all the group photos I wanted and I even talked to the photographer about that list, so that excuse is just unacceptable to me! "

Did you or did you not have the grandparents, brother, and nephew on the list?  I would argue no, it's not "obvious" to professional photographers who in your life is important to you. Grandparents could be deceased, other kinds of relatives non-existent. (I don't have a brother, a nephew, or grandparents.) You could be estranged. If I were a photographer I wouldn't touch family dynamics with a ten foot pole and would go solely off the list provided (and hopefully anything that happened to come up the day of). 

Anyway, I understand your frustration. My sister and BIL were in the wedding party so I have lots of pictures with them. I have lots of pictures with my parents and in-laws. Did we remember to get a photo with me, DH, my parents, and my sis and BIL all together? No. And that made me sad. But I got over it, because it was my fault for not getting that group together. 

I hope you can move on. Try to enjoy being married and enjoy the pictures you do have!