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Strained Mother-Son Relationship: SONG HELP


We are getting married in two months.  Unfortunately my husband to be and his mother have never had a great relationship and shortly after our engagement he lost his father to suicide.  Since then she has been a source of difficulty for us as we manage the estate and such.  We have barely a relationship with her at all, however, for face value for his families sake, he has decided he will partake in the mother/son dance. Does anyone have son ideas that are just basically short and neutral.  Im thinking What A Wonderful World? It's short and just a nice a song.  I did tell him he doesn't have to do this dance but he feels for extended family face value he will.  Does anyone have other song ideas? THANK YOU!!  

Re: Strained Mother-Son Relationship: SONG HELP

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    To be honest, I would either skip the mother-son dance or just use a generic dance song.
  • I agree with PPs to just remind him he doesn’t have to do it if he would prefer not to, or to combine them. If he chooses to a like What a wonderul World. Also, Wildflowers by Tom Petty, Neil Young’s Here for You, Fleetwood Mac “Landslide” all will have a nice feel but not overly loving. 

    As for time, ask the DJ to use a cut or only do the first verse & chorus and fade out. Any good DJ will be able to keep a song to a minute or so without an awkward transition. 
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2018
    I understand why your fi would prefer to take the path of least resistance. You say his relationship with his mother became troubled after the death of his father. I would consider that the death has caused some turmoil in her life, too. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope one day your fi and his mom will be able to mend their relationship.

    I like the idea of you and your dad starting your dance and inviting fi and his mom to the dance floor after a few minutes. That is if you don't mind sharing. It's a Wonderful World is a nice choice if you prefer that they have their own dance. Or you could let FMIL pick the song, since it probably doesn't matter to fi too much.
  • Another option is to do what my H and I did. I danced with my dad and at the same time, he danced with his mom. We all danced to Stand By Me. 
    H and I did the same thing. One less spotlight dance for the guests  ;) the song was “What a Wonderful World”...nice and short.
  • Another option is to do what my H and I did. I danced with my dad and at the same time, he danced with his mom. We all danced to Stand By Me. 
    This!  Do the dance at the same time instead of separating it out.  Heck, my Dad tried to say "Do we HAVE to" for the Father/Daughter because of his knees (My Mom said "You ARE going to" LOL)...  For what it's worth - has he asked her if she even wants to do something like that?  She may think it's not necessary to even have and that puts it into her court to decide so it might be a non-issue!
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  • I would just skip the mother-son dance. There is no law that says you have to have one.
  • Yeah, I agree on skipping. He doesn't need to "save face," this YOUR day.
  • Yeah, I agree on skipping. He doesn't need to "save face." this YOUR day.
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