Wedding Woes

You're a terrible person who should be fired

Dear Prudence,

I did something really stupid and insensitive. Now I’m worried I might have ruined my personal and professional life. I work in an office where most of my co-workers are friends. Recently I snapped a picture of my co-worker “Shannon” and shared it in an online community where we discuss the obese people in our lives. (The picture was taken at work, but I didn’t upload it there.) Shannon’s picture got more attention than I anticipated and made it to a news feed for a broader audience. Someone from work saw it and told Shannon (outside the office). If I were Shannon, I wouldn’t have brought it up at work because I’d be too embarrassed, but she mentioned it in the break room. Shannon’s friends are on the warpath and are pushing her to go to HR. I didn’t use my main account to post the picture, but someone could potentially identify me. I’m not sure if I should go to Shannon and apologize (I am deeply sorry I’ve hurt her), go to HR pre-emptively, or just stay quiet. If people find out I did this, they’ll hate me. I didn’t say anything mean about Shannon when I posted the photo, but others did.
—Nosy Co-worker

Re: You're a terrible person who should be fired

  • edited July 2018
    Um, yeah, I'm with you, mrs.conn. 

    Actions have consequences. LW is a total asshole and deserves to have her personal and professional lives ruined. Especially since s/he never expressed any remorse for actually doing that, just the fact that it's now biting her in the ass.

    And who TF frequents an online community where the only purpose is to shit talk obese people?!

    Edited for lots of typos. Am I drunk?
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2018
    "An online community where we discuss the obese people in our lives." 

    WHAT?????? Why would anyone even want to be involved in that? Surely there must be something better to do with your time! 

    It was completely inappropriate of LW to do this to Shannon. It was horribly mean, and personally I think it was a huge violation of Shannon's privacy (ethically if not necessarily legally, I'm not sure how that all works). I highly doubt that anyone expects a photo taken of them at work to end up on an online community of strangers that will judge them on their physical condition. I also suspect from the letter's wording that this picture was taken without Shannon's knowledge, that it's not a photo LW had from a company picnic or whatever. So that's also creepy. 

    This whole thing is sick, and LW deserves to be hated and to lose their job. I don't believe that co-workers have to all be best friends with each other, but they do need to respect each other, and LW's actions are the exact opposite of that.
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    edited July 2018
    yes, this makes me sad for Shannon.  I also can't believe there's a forum for this! I would turn myself, in, LW and face the consequences.  You did what you did and cannot erase that.  It's probably going to come out eventually anyway. 
    edit: words

  • kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Holy shitballs. What a terrible thing to do. Also, there's a forum where people discuss the obese people in their life? What even? 

    LW should turn herself in, and have to deal with the consequences. 
    that's where I am. Can't believe something like that exists but at the same time I'm guessing there are a lot of things like that I have no idea about
  • kvruns said:
    Holy shitballs. What a terrible thing to do. Also, there's a forum where people discuss the obese people in their life? What even? 

    LW should turn herself in, and have to deal with the consequences. 
    that's where I am. Can't believe something like that exists but at the same time I'm guessing there are a lot of things like that I have no idea about
    I'm envisioning a People of Walmart type thing.  It's all so, so gross. 
  • levioosa said:
    I like how LW is still presenting this like they are somehow a victim. No. Fuck off. You deserve to get fired and I don’t care one iota about your emotions. 
    Yep. They're upset they are likely to get caught more than what they did to Shannon, or anyone else for that matter.  And they want to act like this was innocent, 'harmless' fun.   

    Nah brah, you were out there tearing people down to get your rocks off.  You're an IDIOT for bringing an IRL person that you WORK WITH into this sick little hobby.  Good luck, Chuckles.  I hope it was worth it. 
  • baconsmom said:
    I'm glad you guys lived this long without knowing about that shit. I have a lingering anxiety in the back of my head that I'll find myself on one of those things some day. People really, really, REALLY hate fat people. Especially when we're uppity. 

    But my Fat Rage (tm) wants this dude to be super fired. Like, in disgrace, fired. Pack up your shit and we'll tell everyone what you did, fired. Lose your house because your industry blackballs you, fired. 
    interesting you went "dude" on this because I was thinking female the whole time!
    And yeah, when I "internet" I knot, I shop, and I plan vacations.  That's about it.  I know about reddit and such, just never been.

  • What did Prudie say?

    If this LW gets fired I could see him/her (I also thought woman) writing a second letter bemoaning how they are a pariah now who was fired from their job based on “a little fun.” LW also strikes me like one of those people who will never learn or understand why it was wrong. This whole letter reminds me of that story a few years ago where that playboy bunny posted a picture of a naked woman at the gym on her Instagram. I’m also thinking it would be pretty easy to find this story irl based on the info provided to Prudie. 


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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    You guys have covered most everything about lw being an asshole. I can’t help but wonder what the news story was. 
  • ei34ei34 member
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    Classic example of someone probably just sorry they got caught and will now (hopefully) have consequences.  LW moves into my top 5 “LW’s who are low-lives” category. 
  • Good on Prudie this time.   I read the letter and the LW was clearly not feeling sorry - just caught.
  • Right, nosy coworker this is not. This is an asshole that took a picture of a coworker to shame her on a forum. 
  • I really hope Prudie didn't give LW any advice. 

    LW is terrible, doesn't feel bad that they are terrible, and should get all the consequences coming their way. 
  • mrsconn23 said:
    kvruns said:
    Holy shitballs. What a terrible thing to do. Also, there's a forum where people discuss the obese people in their life? What even? 

    LW should turn herself in, and have to deal with the consequences. 
    that's where I am. Can't believe something like that exists but at the same time I'm guessing there are a lot of things like that I have no idea about
    I'm envisioning a People of Walmart type thing.  It's all so, so gross. 
    The most amusing part whenever I see some headline for a website like that is, in order to take a judgy picture of a Walmart shopper...one has to BE a Walmart shopper.  Sooooo...it's making fun of someone partially for where they shop and that person shops at the same place pic taker does.  Ummm...okay.

    I hope Shannon finds out the truth.  Covertly takes the LW's pic.  And posts it on an online forum discussing the topic of "people in my life who are the WORST".
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2018
    Prudie's advice was actually good this time. If HR finds out about this, LW is probably going to get fired. Businesses have a responsibility to prevent harassment based on protected classes, and while obesity isn't one, this could brush up against the disability class. I think the only hope LW has of keeping her job is either not saying anything and lying through their teeth if asked (and hoping they don't get found out) or preemptively going to HR, acknowledging they did something wrong and have learned from it, promising to never doing anything like that again, and offering to apologize to Shannon. 

    ETA: posted too soon. 
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