Wedding Woes

Chriro no-no (and get your money back, girl).

Dear Prudence,

My chiropractor has asked me out twice now. I am not interested, and I will no longer be treated by him since I don’t want his hands on me. Even though I paid in advance for a series of sessions, I have let the office staff know I’ll be stopping the treatment early without telling them why. The problem is what to say about him. He is the junior chiropractor in his office, not from this country, working for a senior chiropractor. This job is his work visa to be here, so reporting him could have severe consequences. Maybe he just doesn’t know that it’s not acceptable to proposition patients in this country? But on the other hand, if he continues, he’ll probably cost the senior chiropractor more clients. Also, I pre-paid for a number of sessions and since I did not give a reason for leaving, I think I have to eat that cost.

—Keep It Professional

Re: Chriro no-no (and get your money back, girl).

  • mrsconn23 said:
    Dear Prudence,

    My chiropractor has asked me out twice now. I am not interested, and I will no longer be treated by him since I don’t want his hands on me. Even though I paid in advance for a series of sessions, I have let the office staff know I’ll be stopping the treatment early without telling them why. The problem is what to say about him. He is the junior chiropractor in his office, not from this country, working for a senior chiropractor. This job is his work visa to be here, so reporting him could have severe consequences. Maybe he just doesn’t know that it’s not acceptable to proposition patients in this country? But on the other hand, if he continues, he’ll probably cost the senior chiropractor more clients. Also, I pre-paid for a number of sessions and since I did not give a reason for leaving, I think I have to eat that cost.

    —Keep It Professional
    More info needed here.   Can she see the other partner?   Were his hands traveling inappropriately before he asked? 

    It's clearly crossing the line but I also feel like she's not using her words. 
  • I'm a little surprised, considering there is MONEY involved, that she did not already say something.  She may not be entitled to her money back IF they make sure her future appointments are with a different chiro.  Or they might just offer her remaining money back.

    Not that it should be her concern, but this also probably isn't going to be a "dire" consequence of him losing his job and his visa.  The workplace might just have a serious talk with him.  Maybe there is some cultural difference going on and he didn't realize how inappropriate he was being.  Especially since he apparently asked her out a second time, when she had already turned him down.  Or, they might fire him, but he could get another job and retain his visa (not sure how that system works).

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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
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    baconsmom said:
    Talk to the office manager and the senior chiro. Get your money back and let them know how the junior chiro is behaving toward patients. Yes, it may have "consequences" for him, but dude. THAT'S THE POINT. He made his choices; it's not on you to save him from them. ???????? like, why would you even be worried about it. 
    Um yeah this. I'm sad that LW is worrying about this. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    baconsmomcharlotte989875ahoywedding
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
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    banana468 said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    Dear Prudence,

    My chiropractor has asked me out twice now. I am not interested, and I will no longer be treated by him since I don’t want his hands on me. Even though I paid in advance for a series of sessions, I have let the office staff know I’ll be stopping the treatment early without telling them why. The problem is what to say about him. He is the junior chiropractor in his office, not from this country, working for a senior chiropractor. This job is his work visa to be here, so reporting him could have severe consequences. Maybe he just doesn’t know that it’s not acceptable to proposition patients in this country? But on the other hand, if he continues, he’ll probably cost the senior chiropractor more clients. Also, I pre-paid for a number of sessions and since I did not give a reason for leaving, I think I have to eat that cost.

    —Keep It Professional
    More info needed here.   Can she see the other partner?   Were his hands traveling inappropriately before he asked? 

    It's clearly crossing the line but I also feel like she's not using her words. 
    I know.  I'm cheap and my first thought was if LW can't get the money back, there has got to be someone in the office that won't hit on LW

  • The consequences to his career for him being appropriate is not on you, LW. He lives he, he works here, and there are laws against sexual harassment. Report it to the office and to the board if necessary. 

    His consequences are not your repsonsibilities. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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    I call bullshit that he's from a country/culture where it's acceptable to hit on your patients repeatedly. Maybe that's uninformed, but I'm pretty sure professionalism from medical professionals is pretty much global.

    Even if it isn't, he's licensed in the US (or where ever LW is, but the visa bit sounds like US). Part of obtaining and maintaining that license is acting like a professional. I don't believe for a second that he managed to get through the process of obtaining that license without knowing it's inappropriate to hit on patients and continue asking them out after a no. 
    downtondiva
  • I have never heard of propositioning patients being considered okay in any culture. And even if I'm wrong, it's not okay in this country, and this chiro should know that. He is responsible for whatever consequences he has to face for behaving inappropriately. LW should not feel responsible for protecting his career. 
    image
  • "I am afraid I have to terminate my relationship with your practice and I'd like to be refunded the money I've already paid. Dr. Hosebucket keeps hitting on me, and I am no longer comfortable there. You can either refund my credit card, or mail me a check. I'll expect it by the end of the week. Thank you."

    You can be sure that this practice will do all in their power to avoid a scandal, and they will refund your money so fast it will make your head spin!

    Don't think for one second that you have to eat the cost of your harassment. We've come too far to put up with crap like that! 
  • Oh,and the "other culture" thing doesn't fly with me anymore. When I was in my 20s, I questioned a dentist about a procedure he said I needed. Instead of answering me, he accused me of being biased because of his accent, and basically bullied me into having the procedure, which was expensive. To this day, I don't know if I really needed it, but I now recognize a bullying ass when I see one.
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