Wedding Etiquette Forum

RSVP Service from my Wedding Planner - Guest will receive the phone call instead of making it

Hello! We're having a multicultural wedding in MTY, Mx. We're having guests from all over Europe and US and mailed RSVP is not an option. Online is unreliable and we don't want guests to add extra people that were not contemplated.

The tradition in MTY is to have the planner give a call to each guest to confirm their assistance (or not) to our wedding. She's able to make all the international calls as needed so that's going to be it. 

What should the wording be on the invitation?

>> Kindly RSVP by January 13 (but then it implies they have to RSVP)
>> You'll receive a call to RSVP by January 13

I need help, please!! 

Re: RSVP Service from my Wedding Planner - Guest will receive the phone call instead of making it

  • This is interesting. 

    Invitations usually just say "RSVP by January 13." It's other info in the invite suite that indicates how to do it- like listing a wedding website, or providing contact information, or providing a response card. 
    The problem with one person making the calls (even if tradition) is that it's so easy to miss a call, and then the person has to call back. Can you give a few options?  Not only receiving the call, but perhaps sending an e-mail? 

    As far as adding unwanted guests, that's when you get very specific with addressing your invitations. If anyone tries to add others when they RSVP, you say, "I'm sorry, the invite was for you and John, and Jane cannot be accommodated." 

  • My fiance suggested writing:
    We will reach out to you by January to confirm your reservation.
    Or just leaving RSVP by January 13. and if we receive physical mail, we'll just forward it to our planner. 

    We may just open the RSVP on the website (we have through The Knot).
  • My daughter set up her RSVP site here. People can't add guests who aren't on the list. The international guests responded here, and many of the others sent back the response cards. I would not want a planner handling this at all.
  • Most people are not able to answer their phone anytime, anywhere. Furthermore, a lot of people nowadays (including me) will generally not answer their phone unless they recognize the number as being someone they know, since if they don't recognize the number it's likely a spam call or telemarketer. 

    Whether this phone call thing is traditional where you're getting married or not, I suggest you find another way to receive the RSVPs.  Your planner should only be calling those who have not responded by the RSVP deadline. I'm sure if you do an RSVP site online, there's a way of setting it up so that people can't just add guests. Your planner should only be calling anyone who does not respond by a certain date.

  • I've recently RSVP'd online to two different weddings via two different sites (The Knot and Zola). Both sites asked the guests names. On one of them I jokingly tried to add our dog (because the wedding is out of town and he IS coming, just staying at the hotel) and I got some kind of error message that I was adding a guest who wasn't invited. I would definitely suggest that instead of the phone calls, for the reasons @downtondiva listed. 

    If most of your guests were from MTY and were used to that being the norm, it maybe would be fine. But since it seems like a lot of them are international, they're not going to understand. I definitely wouldn't answer an international call when I don't recognize the number. If the planner wants to handle the RSVPs, you could provide her email address. She could also reach out to the guests that haven't replied by the deadline, but I would be much more likely to respond to a text/email/FB message from my friend vs. someone I don't know. 
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