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Moms and Maids

Maid of Honor Drama

Hello, I am getting married in a few months and am having a rough time with my maid of honor. A few months back some hints were dropped that she wasn't chosen as my maid of honor and that my other best friend had been. So, to keep peace, I "promoted" my best friend to Matron of Honor and her to maid of honor. I have recently learned that my maid of honor doesn't think that my fiancé is right for me based on family drama (totally insane) and that she thinks he is controlling. I don't particularly want her to be in my bridal party at this point. Why would someone agree to be in your wedding if they don't support the marriage? Should I ask her to not be in the wedding? And how would one even go about that?  

Re: Maid of Honor Drama

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    Hello, I am getting married in a few months and am having a rough time with my maid of honor. A few months back some hints were dropped that she wasn't chosen as my maid of honor and that my other best friend had been. So, to keep peace, I "promoted" my best friend to Matron of Honor and her to maid of honor. I have recently learned that my maid of honor doesn't think that my fiancé is right for me based on family drama (totally insane) and that she thinks he is controlling. I don't particularly want her to be in my bridal party at this point. Why would someone agree to be in your wedding if they don't support the marriage? Should I ask her to not be in the wedding? And how would one even go about that?  

    This is a friendship question. If you ask her to leave the wedding party, you are effectively ending the friendship (or at least you should expect that to be the case - she would be in the right to be done with you after that).

    Do you want to end the friendship?

    I had some serious concerns about a friend of mine's relationship and conveyed those prior to him proposing. He chose to propose anyway. It would make sense for me not to participate in that wedding party. However, some people see the role as supporting you more than the relationship, and especially if this family drama happened recently, they may have changed their mind after agreeing to be in the wedding. I wouldn't hang everything on this.

    Also, I directly told my friend what I thought. If "I recently learned" means "I heard gossip from a third party," then I would be very cautious before taking any action on this whatsoever. She may not have said quite what was conveyed to you.

    Anniversary

    charlotte989875ahoyweddingshort+sassy
  • I appreciate your input, it gives me a different perspective. It would end the friendship however she is also a relatives fiancé, so I would still see her on a normal basis. I'm not looking to end a friendship at all. I guess my issue with it is that she did not tell me directly, she told others who then told me. I am also leery of the way that I was informed and I want to confront her about it before taking any other action.
  • I appreciate your input, it gives me a different perspective. It would end the friendship however she is also a relatives fiancé, so I would still see her on a normal basis. I'm not looking to end a friendship at all. I guess my issue with it is that she did not tell me directly, she told others who then told me. I am also leery of the way that I was informed and I want to confront her about it before taking any other action.
    Can you speak with her instead of confronting her? That just makes it sound like you are going into the conversation aggressively and I don’t think that is going to give you the results you are looking for. 
    Why did you ask this woman to be your bridesmaid in the first place? 
    ShesSoColdeileenrobernursejahoywedding
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