Wedding Woes

Work event etiquette

Dear Prudence,
I recently attended the company picnic at a local amusement park. In the pavilion area we rented for games, I was interrupted during bingo (I know, I know, but the prizes were real!) an eventually frustrating number of times, being asked to “come meet” someone’s family. I understand this seems easier than them coming to meet me, since it was just me and my boyfriend, but one, I have no sincere interest in doing so, and two, they’ve interrupted my game. As we have more holiday parties, what are my obligations here? I got one comment today already about how someone’s adult children were “disappointed they didn’t get to meet” me (yet they made no effort to introduce themselves, which I wanted to, but didn’t, point out to their mother). I understand I can’t be left alone at a company function, but what can I say that will get me as close to that as possible?
—Off-Site Etiquette

Re: Work event etiquette

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    Like Bacon says, I think LW is misinterpreting the "My kids were so disappointed in missing you!" is just something an adult will say on behalf of their kids.  It's like when you know a person is going to see another and you say "Tell Larry I said hello!", in most circumstances, you don't tell Larry the other person said hello.  (unless I'm a weirdo???)

    I like the suggestions of circling first and then settle down to the game.  And also tell someone they will find them after the game and following through.

    mrsconn23STARMOON44ahoywedding
  • Does LW not get what a work party is?   
    MesmrEwe
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
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    Isn't there an early Office episode where Jim invites everyone to a cookout at his place because his roommates think he's making Dwight up?
    I literally just saw this a few days ago! I'm re-watching the series.  It was a sad one because Michael wasn't invited (but showed up anyway?)

    charlotte989875ahoyweddingeileenrob
  • Isn't there an early Office episode where Jim invites everyone to a cookout at his place because his roommates think he's making Dwight up?
    I literally just saw this a few days ago! I'm re-watching the series.  It was a sad one because Michael wasn't invited (but showed up anyway?)
    Yes because IT had installed the email surveillance software so he found out about the party accidentally!
  • LW may also need to brush up on this if she wants to move up in the world of office management.   
    MesmrEwe
  • Work Party = Real world testing ground for the next round of promotions...  

    Heck I got the stink-eye for saying "sorry - can't make it!" for a riverboat work party.  The people that planned it have boats that they were constantly out on the water..  Me + deep bodies of water = NOPE!  I later found out one of the guys on the board of directors wanted to meet me and I was like "I'm not difficult to find, I just DO NOT do boats/pools/etc.!" (SNS! we all have those things in life that "no" and zero intentions of changing)..  

    Unfortunately, no one has ever told LW what the work party is really about...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • MesmrEwe said:
    Work Party = Real world testing ground for the next round of promotions...  

    Heck I got the stink-eye for saying "sorry - can't make it!" for a riverboat work party.  The people that planned it have boats that they were constantly out on the water..  Me + deep bodies of water = NOPE!  I later found out one of the guys on the board of directors wanted to meet me and I was like "I'm not difficult to find, I just DO NOT do boats/pools/etc.!" (SNS! we all have those things in life that "no" and zero intentions of changing)..  

    Unfortunately, no one has ever told LW what the work party is really about...
    Exactly.   Work party =/= BINGO with no interruptions.   Sorry.

    Just like if LW gets married she can't get pissy that guests are interrupting her meal or dancing.   She's going to need to stop and talk to people and network.   
    MesmrEwecharlotte989875
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    Agree with everyone else.

    To her last comment about the kids wanting to meet LW and how they didn't point out to the mother that the kids could have come to see her, why didn't she point that out? There's nothing rude about responding, "oh, I didn't know. They should have come and introduced themselves. Next time I guess."

  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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     Maybe it’s just me, but who is bring their adult children to a work picnic??  And why are these adults so disappointed that they didn’t get to meet some random work colleague of their parents??
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    OliveOilsMomMesmrEweshort+sassy
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited August 10
    Yeah you need to have a word with yourself. This picnic is for networking and chit chat. Not bingo prizes. No matter how good the prizes. You can buy several iPads when you get promoted through strategic networking rather than being anti social and over competitive to win one.

    Never underestimate the power of a strategic “ How is Debbie/Tom?”
    charlotte989875ahoyweddingMesmrEwe
  • kvrunskvruns
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
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    While I think the LW is exaggerating, am I the only one who thought LW might have a higher up/boss role? That is the only reason I can think that "all" of these people wanted LW to meet their families. Or maybe LW is normally super friendly but is super into Bingo and winning prizes and therefore doesn't want to be social for the first time ever? idk seems odd. 
    mrsconn23levioosashort+sassy
  • kvruns said:
    While I think the LW is exaggerating, am I the only one who thought LW might have a higher up/boss role? That is the only reason I can think that "all" of these people wanted LW to meet their families. Or maybe LW is normally super friendly but is super into Bingo and winning prizes and therefore doesn't want to be social for the first time ever? idk seems odd. 
    I had the same thought.  Two companies ago, DH was hired in as an hourly worker and then got promoted.  Going to work events before and after was a totally different ball game for both of us in a political sense.  

    There was another guy at that company who was also promoted from hourly to management.  Before he was management, he was quite the life of the party (they threw some huge shindigs where there was a fuck ton of drinking and 'whooping it up') and before they officially promoted him they had to be all, "Uh so, you can't take the giant martini glass centerpiece off the tables at company parties, pour your drink in, and then drink out of it while standing on the table." 
    OliveOilsMomMesmrEweshort+sassy
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
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    mrsconn23 said:
    kvruns said:
    While I think the LW is exaggerating, am I the only one who thought LW might have a higher up/boss role? That is the only reason I can think that "all" of these people wanted LW to meet their families. Or maybe LW is normally super friendly but is super into Bingo and winning prizes and therefore doesn't want to be social for the first time ever? idk seems odd. 
    I had the same thought.  Two companies ago, DH was hired in as an hourly worker and then got promoted.  Going to work events before and after was a totally different ball game for both of us in a political sense.  

    There was another guy at that company who was also promoted from hourly to management.  Before he was management, he was quite the life of the party (they threw some huge shindigs where there was a fuck ton of drinking and 'whooping it up') and before they officially promoted him they had to be all, "Uh so, you can't take the giant martini glass centerpiece off the tables at company parties, pour your drink in, and then drink out of it while standing on the table." 
    And he still took the job?  ;)

    mrsconn23charlotte989875MesmrEwe
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