Wedding Woes

Buy Courtney some earplugs

Dear Prudence,
I live in an expensive city where housing is scarce, but I’m fortunate enough to own a home. I offered the second bedroom to my friends “Courtney” and “Ross.” They’re a couple who share a room, pay half the expenses, and do half the housework. We share meals and food costs. It’s great, but I am expected to be ready to teach at 7 a.m. (so I can’t eat my breakfast at work) and have a 40-minute commute. Courtney works 9–5 at a nearby bank, and Ross works an afternoon shift; they’re both “night people.” The house is large and echo-y, and Courtney, a delicate sleeper, is easily disturbed by the sounds of me preparing breakfast. She requested that since I work a “nonstandard” schedule, I eat breakfast out each morning so as to not wake her. I agreed but soon realized that it costs me an extra $50 per week to eat out while still paying for one-third of the groceries. I suggested that this cost be added into our weekly food expenses, but Courtney balked. Was I being unfair to ask this? Can I insist? Other than this, they’re great roommates.
—Nonstandard Schedule Standards

Re: Buy Courtney some earplugs

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    mod
    mrsconn23 said:
    DH gets up between 4 and 4:30 to workout almost every day.  He wakes me up most mornings because I am a light sleeper.  He's respectful and uses soft light (like the bathroom light) so he can find his gear. 

    Sometimes I just roll over, sometimes I talk to him.  Some mornings I can fall back asleep right away and some mornings I'm awake and look at my phone until I feel sleepy again.  But I stay in bed and try to snooze until it's actually time for me to wake up.  I've adapted to it being our routine. 

    Courtney and LW's 'solutions' to this issue have basically led to a stalemate.  There are several ways to fix this (LW could prep her breakfast stuff the night before, Courtney can wear earplugs and/or stuff a towel/blanket up against the bottom of her door to block sound.)  But making this about money is a recipe for disaster, IMO. 
    This, pretty much exactly. My H starts work hours before I do, usually and he likes to snooze for like 45 minutes while I get up right when my alarm goes off (he gets up and goes to the couch after the first alarm to snooze). 

    Both Courtney and LW can compromise here - LW can prepare as much as she can the night before and Courtney can get ear plugs or learn to live with it. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    short+sassy
  • kerbohlkerbohl
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    member
    Courtney could be overly sensitive to noise. I know someone that even with earplugs in can't sleep in apartment buildings because she hears people walking in the other units.
    imageimage
    MesmrEwe
  • Tell Courtney no. 
    short+sassy
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    It's LWs house and she can do what she wants with it, IMO.  I think she tried to be respectful about the noise, but realizes it cannot be sustainable long term.  I would tell Courtney that I tried to get breakfast out, but the cost is not sustainable, so I am going back to my normal routine.

    I would offer Courtney a few suggestions: get ear plugs, a white noise machine, or move out.  Or if there is a different bedroom further from the kitchen, to move into that one.

    It's not LWs fault that Courtney and Ross are night owls. 

    MesmrEwecharlotte989875short+sassy
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    I'm kinda envious of LW's breakfasts. I have yogurt or a protein bar each morning.  So I guess Courtney would be a good roomie for me.

    eileenrobcharlotte989875ahoywedding
  • Is the LW tenderizing pork cutlets every morning?   

    Courtney needs a noise machine and LW can advise she'll make an effort to be quiet.   Sorry but community living means that people will have different schedules and you need to come up with ways to cope with standard life noises that are part of a daily routine or get your own place if that's too much.  


    charlotte989875PrettyGirlLost
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    There's nothing louder than one preparing a bowl of cereal when another is trying to sleep in the morning, I swear to God...

    Aside from LW trying to be as quiet as possible and Courtney doing anything she can to minimize the noise traveling into her room, there's really not much else anyone can do. It's not just about breakfast noise- using the bathroom doesn't wake her? Opening the door to leave? It's * just * breakfast? I doubt it. 
    ________________________________


    OliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLostshort+sassyahoywedding
  • Breakdown of sharing food expenses in 3..2...

    Really - it should be "Either the $50 gets split or I'm eating at home again!"..  She works a normal shift for someone in her profession as do the others, there's only so much noise cooking eggs and warming up some oatmeal in the microwave is going to make.  Unless she's an obnoxious chewer, then I'm 100% on Courtney's side lol..  

    One has to wonder how Courtney would survive having a kid because there comes a day "They're old enough to work it out and come to peace as siblings - I'm getting another hour of sleep!"...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    charlotte989875
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Get over it or get earplugs, Courtney.
    VarunaTTeileenrob
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited August 10
    So she’s making breakfast at what 5:30/6:00? That’s early but not “nonstandard” hours. If she was full on cooking at 3am I’d say that’s a different story, but I think Courtney needs to learn to adapt, or find a different living arrangement. Or share in the expense of LW eating out. 
    Yeah I was thinking the same thing. . .a teacher's schedule isn't "non standard."  It's early, but pretty standard.

    But WTF is LW cooking for breakfast and at what time? Is she banging around the kitchen making fried eggs and bacon and toast at 5am every morning?

    Yeah that would get old really quickly, but it's LW prerogative.  Although I would absolutely kill LW if she was firing up a smoothie in her Ninja at that hour.

    Earplugs, white noise machine for Courtney, and LW should consider if she really might be being a bit too loud in the kitchen.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    charlotte989875STARMOON44
  • kvruns said:
    I think it is strange that in the house she owns she would be like "sure, ok, I'll eat out" - grow a backbone! Some compromise may be in order like not making smoothies in a blender or getting pans out in the morning if she wants to make real breakfast, but do people really do that much cooking before work? 

    I am a light sleeper and sensitive to noise. My H gets up before me and I almost always wake up to his alarm or to him getting his lunch ready. Some days it annoys me bc really it shouldn't be that loud but I can't imagine telling someone they're not allowed to make food bc I'm a light sleeper. 
    Yeah, I think if the LW needs to have a smoothie in the morning maybe she can re-think that option.  

    But there needs to be some compromise here.

    DH and I get up at the same time every day and hates when I have to get up early.   Luckily it's not often enough to make or break our sleeping arrangement.  But the LW isn't in the same room as Courtney - so Courtney needs to come up with ways to deal.

    If Courtney ever has kids, Courtney is in for an ever ruder awakening.
    short+sassy
  • kvruns said:
    I think it is strange that in the house she owns she would be like "sure, ok, I'll eat out" - grow a backbone! Some compromise may be in order like not making smoothies in a blender or getting pans out in the morning if she wants to make real breakfast, but do people really do that much cooking before work? 

    I am a light sleeper and sensitive to noise. My H gets up before me and I almost always wake up to his alarm or to him getting his lunch ready. Some days it annoys me bc really it shouldn't be that loud but I can't imagine telling someone they're not allowed to make food bc I'm a light sleeper. 


    This is where I am reading the letter!  The first words out of my mouth would have been, "You CANNOT be serious with this.  That's completely ridiculous."  And then, after my shock from this outrageous request, we could talk about solutions to solve the problem.

    I'm surprised the LW's only issue is with the additional cost.  That has to be a huge imposition to kick yourself out of your own house for breakfast, every single morning.

    When I was in college, my roommate and I were on different schedules.  She asked if I could be as quiet as possible when I was in the kitchen after she went to bed.  And she even felt bad about saying that because she admitted that she knew I didn't make anything outside of normal noises, but she was a light sleeper.  I did what I could to be extra quiet and it seemed to help things.  I usually have a cup of hot tea in the evening.  I even switched to heating up the water with our coffee maker, so the microwave didn't make a "ding" sound. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards