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Best Man & Groomslady gifts

We are having a best man and 3 groomsladies for my fiance's side of the wedding party. 
We're paying for the girls' to get their make-up done and have bought all of them engraved copper mugs. We've bought the best man a tie (plus his mug), but I feel like they need something to go with the mugs. Any suggestions? Pinterest and the internet is no help and just gives me ads for products haha

Re: Best Man & Groomslady gifts

  • I know a lot of the things you listed are common gifts but really if it's for use in the wedding (a tie, make up, etc) it's not a gift.  

    Think of them and their unique interests.   Wine for the wine drinker, a cool bottle of bourbon for the bourbon drinker, a GC to Michaels for the friend who can't stop crocheting, etc. 
    InLoveInQueenseileenrobahoywedding
  • It's not specifically a gift; however, costs add up and I personally love it when a bride and/or groom pays for things we would have to pay for. 

    Booze and gift cards always work!
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    We are having a best man and 3 groomsladies for my fiance's side of the wedding party. 
    We're paying for the girls' to get their make-up done and have bought all of them engraved copper mugs. We've bought the best man a tie (plus his mug), but I feel like they need something to go with the mugs. Any suggestions? Pinterest and the internet is no help and just gives me ads for products haha
    Gifts for the WP should not be connected to the wedding. Shop for them like it is their birthday. A decent bottle of the wino, a Starbucks gc and the latest bestseller for the bookworm, etc. It is nice of you to cover makeup but not necessary. 


    image
    InLoveInQueensahoywedding
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
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    It's not specifically a gift; however, costs add up and I personally love it when a bride and/or groom pays for things we would have to pay for. 

    Booze and gift cards always work!
    Are you answering your own question?

    The thing with paying for makeup is that they won't need to do that if they weren't in the wedding. It would be different if you were giving them a gift card to get their makeup done at a different time of their choice. And they could do their own makeup so you could spend that money on a gift that they actually want. 

    Do all these people have an actual interest in engraved copper mugs or is that just a generic "ZOMG yay wedding party gift!" that you got them? Please tell me it's not engraved with something related to your wedding.

    You should be shopping for people like you do for their birthdays or Christmas. I doubt you buy all your friends identical Christmas gifts or things like tumblers with "Birthday 7/17/2017!" on them. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    ahoywedding
  • H has 3 of the exact same coolers with his initials and 2 mugs. These "group gifts" KILL ME. Every groom is so excited to give them their gifts and then they go with the most generic stuff.
    image
    ShesSoColdInLoveInQueenseileenrobahoywedding
  • What are their interests?  What would FI get them for their birthdays?  It’s the easiest way to go about it, no Pinterest searches necessary.  If you’re looking to save money, I’d scratch the matching group gift mugs. And the makeup (as long as it’s not required they have makeup professionally done.  If you do require it, it’s not a gift anyway). 
    charlotte989875InLoveInQueensahoywedding
  • Sometimes, there are group gifts that are awesome. I wouldn't stress about finding an individual thing for each person (it's nice to do this, but it is not an etiquette rule) if you can find something practical or interesting that most people would like. My daughter's husband gave all of the groomsmen this cool, hand-crafted multi-tool thing (like a Swiss Army knife, but bigger and better, with an axe, wine opener, etc.) We all loved them.

    My son, who was a groomsman, is still in college and isn't allowed to have anything like that on campus (yes, stupid, I know), so I'm, um, keeping the thing safe while he is away. I might not give it back.

    In spite of the pressure to find the perfect gift for each attendant, there really are some things that could work for everyone. And even if you do pick out individual gifts, it's still possible someone won't think it's as wonderful as you do. This is okay.  As long as you give a gift that isn't part of some bridal uniform, you will be fine. Your relationships with the friends who are standing up with you can survive "Oh, crap, I hate this bracelet/copper mug/hand-painted scarf/weird tool thing but I don't want to hurt Bride's feelings." Really. 
  • Gifting makeup can be thoughtful and personalized.  I would personally love to be gifted getting my makeup done for a wedding, as long as it had been optional up to that point. My friends are the same.  We talk about how cool it would be to be able to get our makeup done, but could never justify the expense, even for a wedding. It wouldn't matter that it was "for the wedding" because they are gifting me an experience I want at the time I would want it. 

    However, that is me. Not everyone would want to get their makeup done or care about it in general.  What matters is the person and what they want.  Know your crowd and what they care about and would like.
    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • maine7mobmaine7mob
    100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited September 12
    @ShesSoCold my son can and does use the thing when he's home. And he graduates in May, so will take it then. Like you, I do try to buy things my friends enjoy. I think my son-in-law did, too.

    Not sure where you get the idea that I think a jock strap is a cool gift, but if it's something you think your friends like (and they happen to be male), I won't stop you from offering it as a wedding favor. I would find it awkward to be there, though, but you know your guests. One woman's tacky is another's fun gift.

    I agree with those who said that hair and makeup are not gifts. I would be offended if someone offered me those and called them gifts. In a way, it implies that their own way of styling their hair (or not) or putting on makeup (or not) is somehow wrong. But I get that this is now a thing and many brides do this. Just don't call it a gift, and make it easy for people to decline.

    ETA: My point above is that some people just aren't great at picking stuff out, even for those they really care about. I have a friend who just sucks at gift-giving. She tries, but it's always a miss. So whether she gives an individual gift that stinks, or a whole slew of them to a group, it doesn't matter. It's her intent that counts. 
  • I get what you're saying, @ahoywedding, but surely there's a lot of room between a personalized gift, and "screw it, we'll get water bottles or monogrammed jockstraps for everyone." If, for example, you know your groomsmen love bourbon, I see nothing wrong with getting them all the same rare bourbon as a gift. In my SIL's case, he really did get a gift they all loved. It just happened to be the same for all 4 men. I don't think individual or unique gifts necessarily mean the bride or groom was more considerate than one who gave a well-thought-out group of similar gifts. Well-thought-out is the operative idea, here. Sensitivity and kindness are of more value than, "Oh no, it has to be unique!"
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    Yes, some people are bad at picking out gifts. But you can at least put in the effort for the people in your wedding party. If they're your closest friends, you at the bare minimum would know a few things they are interested in. 

    I agree with the rest that hair and makeup are not a gift, especially if you're requiring it. 

    ahoyweddingInLoveInQueenseileenrob
  • maine7mob said:
    I get what you're saying, @ahoywedding, but surely there's a lot of room between a personalized gift, and "screw it, we'll get water bottles or monogrammed jockstraps for everyone." If, for example, you know your groomsmen love bourbon, I see nothing wrong with getting them all the same rare bourbon as a gift. In my SIL's case, he really did get a gift they all loved. It just happened to be the same for all 4 men. I don't think individual or unique gifts necessarily mean the bride or groom was more considerate than one who gave a well-thought-out group of similar gifts. Well-thought-out is the operative idea, here. Sensitivity and kindness are of more value than, "Oh no, it has to be unique!"
    I mean sure, if you knew for sure that every single person would appreciate the same type of gift that's still putting some thought into it. There's also a difference between something (mostly) useful like your son's gift and an engraved mug. I feel like now you're looking for ways to split hairs and beat a dead horse. I'm still going to say that the best option would be to shop for every person like it was their birthday, and that even if the item is super cool, most people would probably prefer something individualized instead of a group gift.
    ShesSoColdMyNameIsNotInLoveInQueenseileenrob
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
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    maine7mob said:
    @ShesSoCold my son can and does use the thing when he's home. And he graduates in May, so will take it then. Like you, I do try to buy things my friends enjoy. I think my son-in-law did, too.

    Not sure where you get the idea that I think a jock strap is a cool gift, but if it's something you think your friends like (and they happen to be male), I won't stop you from offering it as a wedding favor. I would find it awkward to be there, though, but you know your guests. One woman's tacky is another's fun gift.

    I agree with those who said that hair and makeup are not gifts. I would be offended if someone offered me those and called them gifts. In a way, it implies that their own way of styling their hair (or not) or putting on makeup (or not) is somehow wrong. But I get that this is now a thing and many brides do this. Just don't call it a gift, and make it easy for people to decline.

    ETA: My point above is that some people just aren't great at picking stuff out, even for those they really care about. I have a friend who just sucks at gift-giving. She tries, but it's always a miss. So whether she gives an individual gift that stinks, or a whole slew of them to a group, it doesn't matter. It's her intent that counts. 
    Okay this makes sense. Your first post was worded (at least I interpreted it) like "oh just pick something cool, doesn't matter if they like or can use it!". Which is where I got my jock strap example. Some people may find that to be a useful and handy gift. Many others would not. Just because I'm receiving a gift from someone who enjoys a jock strap doesn't mean that I want one too. 

    I'm not a particularly wonderful gift giver but I do try to buy people things that I think they want.

    And really, the main thing that I was people to get out of these "What do I buy my bridal party" threads is to NOT buy the personalized wedding crap that's shoved down engaged couples' throats. Stop the engraved madness. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    charlotte989875levioosashort+sassythisismynickname2
  • In contrast to the PPs, I have been in multiple weddings and have gotten custom wedding related wine glasses and/or jewelry as gifts from each of the brides and didn't really mind. My own bridesmaids have also said they would like wedding jewelry as their gifts. Do what you and your partner think is appropriate for your family/friends. We don't know them like you do. I also had one bride get me "things I like" which ended up being nothing I liked -- at least with jewelry it serves a purpose. Our moms are also getting mother of the bride/groom jewelry that we found on Etsy. 
  • Okay, that I can agree with! My daughter was assaulted by those ads for engraved crap when she was shopping for her bridesmaids. She finally ditched the whole "bridesmaids gift" idea and found a craft shop that made things she thought her BMs would like. They seemed to, but who really knows? At least they were tasteful.
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