Moms and Maids

Backing out day before day of.

I need advice. I'm MOH in wedding tomorrow (Sunday wedding a different kind of beast as the bride put it) 
The issue is I've been in bed sick all day. I know the bride would be more concerned about my health (and everyone else) before her wedding. But my rule with illness has always been if I'm not throwing up or have a fever, take meds and power through. 
I'm pretty sure it's just a bad cold and I've been getting extra rest and fluids today to try and be better tomorrow however, how bad would it be if I backed out tomorrow? 

I would "power through" but I'm starting a new job (at my dream company) Monday so I won't have a day to recover if being out all day makes my illness worse. 


Re: Backing out day before day of.

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd let the bride know that you're sick. If you're really sick and you go, 1) you'll be feeling rotten when you should be enjoying yourself and happy for the couple and 2) you'll be exposing everyone else there to your illness. The bride will no doubt be disappointed, but only a truly heartless non-friend would fail to understand your need to recover, even if it means not attending her wedding.
  • Yes - first is letting the Bride know you've got "the plague"...  That way you also avoid being in situations such as unnecessary contact/hugging/shaking hands (i.e. giving it to others)..  

    I'd probably be one to power through, but I'd be flat as a pancake as soon and frequently as allowed.  And, most certainly, wouldn't make plans to stick it out until the end of the dance..
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Update: now I'm throwing up. I took a Tylenol before bed but gagged on it and lost everything I ate all day. 
    Since then I've gotten sick couple more times. I'm thinking it's from all the phlegm going into my now empty stomach. Ate some crackers and testing that theory. 
    I'm pretty sure wedding is out at this point. It's a later in the day ceremony but hair and make up start at 11 and then pictures before the ceremony. 
    I don't want to risk getting her or anyone else at the wedding sick and I really need to rest as much as possible for my first day of work Monday. 


  • Sorry you are so sick. I think you are right in backing out - your friend should understand. I certainly wouldn't want to risk getting everyone else sick by attending the wedding if I were you, and if I were the bride I wouldn't want you there either if you were so sick! I know (and the bride) are disappointed. Crawl back in bed and stay there. Hope you can make it to work tomorrow. Good luck with your dream job!

  • @ILoveBeachMusic thanks. I feel slightly better this morning (still throwing up) but I really think the best thing for me today is to stay at home and take it easy. Especially since I cannot miss work tomorrow!! 
    I'll send hubby to the wedding. Maybe he can wear my dress even Haha kidding. 


  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @ILoveBeachMusic thanks. I feel slightly better this morning (still throwing up) but I really think the best thing for me today is to stay at home and take it easy. Especially since I cannot miss work tomorrow!! 
    I'll send hubby to the wedding. Maybe he can wear my dress even Haha kidding. 
    The best thing to do IS to stay home.  I wouldn't be surprised if some of this is also the result of a little stress trying to make this decision.  Your entire body will probably collapse in relief once you make the decision and the call to literally "call it a day".

    Not only is it the best for your recovery, it is the best for all other parties.  Would your friend want to be experiencing those symptoms on her honeymoon?  You are in a no-win situation, so make it a "win" by respecting the signals your body is giving.

    I do hope you can now do nothing but literally sleep and hydrate so you have a fighting chance to show up at work tomorrow and not look like death's door.

    **I'm one of "those" moms........once autumn hits, I encourage my kids (and do this myself) to start a "flu shelf" in the pantry.  I stock one or two days of "I can barely move let alone get to the store" necessities such as chicken noodle soup, Jello, ginger ale/7 Up, Gatorade, saltines, and applesauce.
  • @MobKaz yeah been laying on the couch all day. Hubby went and got me Gatorade, crackers, soup and bananas. 
    Feeling slightly better. I have zero voice so that should be interesting at work...
    I think (fingers crossed) I'm done emptying my stomach...if so I should be able to survive work tomorrow. Or at least enough for them to be like, you're clearly sick go home. If nothing else my new employee picture will be conversation piece. Lol 


  • I am so sorry this has happened to you, not only because of the wedding, but because of the new job! I hope you feel much better tomorrow.
  • Thanks everyone. I feel 60% better and not throwing up anymore! I feel like I can survive full day of work tomorrow. Only issue is I have no that will be difficult squeaking out my name 50 times meeting everyone. 
    Blaming hubby for this lol! He dislocated his shoulder so we were in urgent care earlier this week. Lol kidding, I was already feeling like I was coming down with something before that. 
    Basically our whole house is a mess right now lol


  • I realize this is after-the-fact, but I hope you have a great first day at the new job today.

    I know you must be really disappointed about your friend's wedding!  But sometimes these things happen.

    You don't know how much I sympathize!  I flew halfway across the country to be a BM in a close friend's wedding.  The morning of, I couldn't stop throwing up for almost two hours.  I thought I wasn't going to make it, but I finally stopped and at least felt better enough to move a little.  I powered through and stood up with her.  I was so glad about that.  I sat out for most of the pictures, but got in a few.  I even made it to the reception, but left right after the cake was cut.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • One thing - how did you let the bride know and please tell me it wasn't having your DH spring it on her that you were doing renditions of Ralph and his Buick all night!  

    "Exclusionary Criteria" (Vomiting, Fever above 101, or Diarrhea) is significantly different than "I just feel like crap" on the whole powering through.  SNS - Anything that fits exclusionary criteria is an unapologetic "can't attend!" with a 24-hour symptom free rule...  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards