First of all, I wasn't sure where to put this, so if this is the wrong place I'll move it.
Anyways, I've started planning with my fiance and our guest list is the first thing I'm trying to get worked out as we're having a small wedding that we are most likely paying for entirely by ourselves. We sat down over it a few nights ago and ever since then I feel a little uncomfortable with some of the names we added.
Essentially, what's going on is that of the 57 guests we've invited, only 17 of the guests are specifically my family and friends. The rest are his friends and family, and a few of those are shared friends. It's not really the discrepancy in number I'm worried about. I don't have many friends and I'm estranged from my father's side of the family so I expected that to happen.
I guess in short what I'm more concerned about is the number. A chunk of the guest list, the people from his side, are people I don't really know or haven't even heard of (I've met almost all of his friends). And most of them are married with children. Since almost everyone is coming from out of state, we are reluctant to have an adult-only wedding, but this means that with each friend he added we were putting 2-4 more names to the guest list.
I attempted to express to him that I wanted the wedding kept to only our closest friends and family, the people we couldn't see the day without, but he insists that all of the friends he's added are very important to him. I don't want to deprive him of his friends on our wedding day but it's already become clear to me that we need to cut some people. But I have no idea how to approach this with him.
How have you worked with your spouses (to be) to trim down your guest lists? I'm really nervous about bringing the topic up. I don't want to feel like I'm being unreasonable. Am I being? I just feel that we can't afford the current number of people and I'm also anxious at the prospect of spending my wedding day surrounded by people I hardly know.