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Kinda Sorta NWR/Vent

I'm pregnant with my 2nd child, due Jan 2019, and there is a family wedding in December - out of the country.

We opted not to go because well one its a crazy time for work and two because I'll be 34 weeks by then....mainly we arent going because I'm 34 weeks.

I know its safe to travel throughout pregnancy but i just dont feel comfortable being so far along in my pregnancy and being that far from home.

Am i being unreasonable or overcautious?  i guess im asking because the inlaws and aunt/uncle inlaws have been questioning our decision.   I am always being asked why we arent going...between hormones and stress its bothering me LOL.

Re: Kinda Sorta NWR/Vent

  • Thanks @ShesSoCold ; you are right, i seriously have to stop being guilty, i just felt like people are pointing the finger at me like I'm doing something wrong LoL.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    Of course it's been a long time since I've given birth, but it was standard back then for the Ob/gyn to advise the mother not to travel more than an hour away from the hospital. Has that changed? I would think most parents would want to give birth wherever their Ob or midwife practices. You've had months to get to know each other and there's the insurance issue.

    Aside from all that, you don't need an excuse. No one has a right to question your pregnancy decisions. No one.
  • I'm there with you.   

    At 34 weeks with #2 that was also around the time that it just started to HURT to move.   The nerve pain that traveled down my leg made me walk with such a limp that hurt up until I was 41 weeks.

    I went to a wedding at 36 weeks with #2 that was in Flushing and even then my OB said, "Just look up where your local hospitals are."  

    At 34 weeks I would simply not feel comfortable leaving the country unless it was to go to a country that was *like* home.   

    Also, maybe your #1 is too young to have a ton going on in December but between her birthday, pre-Christmas events and the holidays themselves, I want to throat punch someone who even considers adding a wedding to the schedule!
  • Nope, nope, nope. You made the right call. Some airlines don't like to have women that far along flying with them due to the risk of emergency in-flight delivery, or worse, a DVT.
  • Congrats!  I agree with the other PPs.  Your IL's are the ones being unreasonable.  Granted, I've never been pregnant.  But it sounds perfectly normal to me you wouldn't want to fly anywhere...much less out of the country...when you're less than two months from your due date.

    You're busy!  Growing a little human.  They need to MYOB.

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Nope, you're making the right call. Airlines stop allowing pregnant women around 8 or 9 months unless with a doctor's note. 

    And I just had a friend deliver with pre-term labor at barely 34 weeks. Going out of the country is too risky; the baby would be stuck there, just a nightmare. 

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2018
    Congrats! So my SIL was due 6 weeks after our wedding and opted out.  100% understood. I think she said she "couldn't go" which I always thought was doctor ordered but maybe it wasn't if I'm reading correctly?  My BFF who was due 8 weeks after our wedding decided to fly and go to it.  It was her choice and she was fine.

    Healthy baby over a wedding IMO. 

    edit for confusing before/after due date wordage.

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Another vote for not even out of state, let alone out of country.  The other issues also include YOUR health and comfort.  At that stage of the game, I recall having trouble sleeping.  I needed options in terms of spaces to sleep, creature comforts, such as pillows or other "soothers", and other personal amenities.  Hotels of any kind are not conducive to the health and well being of a third trimester mama!
  • I would do the same thing if I was in your shoes. It's totally reasonable to want to be close to home and your doctor that late in pregnancy. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about looking out for yourself and your baby.
  • Just post some crazy "got on a plane and delivered!" stories...  Yea, 34 weeks is a no-go on a plane ride (some carriers won't let you fly past a certain week)...  Just use the "decision is made" tone "We're not going because I'm going to be 34 weeks pregnant at the time of the wedding!" then bean dip!

    Heck - when I was at that point in my first pregnancy we had a funeral four hours away and that was even a "am I sure I want to be this far from home" then reminded myself that's not a long amount of time nor distance IRL...  That's however not an out of country trip that you aren't sure what the medical facilities will be nor where should you experience an unlikely complication.  
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited November 2018

    At 34 weeks I wouldn't want to risk traveling out of the country either.  Shut down the questioning with, "We're disappointed not to be able to go, but our determination that we're not going is final."
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