• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Snarky Brides

People inviting themselves? Had to rant a little.

FI and I are planning a DW with just us and two witnesses. Every time someone hears that we're going somewhere sandy to get married (this is almost without exception) they decide that they're inviting themselves...and most of the time they're not joking.

Uuuuuugh my wedding is not your excuse to have a beach vacation!

/rant

Re: People inviting themselves? Had to rant a little.

  • Repeat after me - "Thank you for wanting to join us on our special day but we are keeping it small". Also, avoid wedding talk. Bean dip +++
    downtondivaahoywedding
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Don't talk about your wedding to people who are not invited -- especially if you are eloping. Just announce it after the fact.
    MyNameIsNotahoyweddingshort+sassy
  • I'd stop talking about it and be vague when asked, "Oh we're going to do something really small.   Have you tried the hummus?" 
    ahoywedding
  • tinigettingmarriedtinigettingmarried Northern Utah
    First Comment
    member
    Noted: "Hummus, more like yummus, amiright?" 
    short+sassy
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    If you're eloping, why are you telling people about your plans?

  • Just...don't talk about your wedding. Or, if you absolutely must, don't give specifics. Don't tell them when and where, especially if you want to continue to call this an elopement. Just tell them it will be just the two of you, they don't need any more details.
    ShesSoColdahoywedding
  • tinigettingmarriedtinigettingmarried Northern Utah
    First Comment
    member
    edited October 2018
    Background: been together 11 years, engaged for almost 4, not getting married til Feb. 2020. Live in Utah so this is...hard for most people to understand.

    The only details people get (because they ask...a lot - I'm in corporate sales so there's a lot of social interaction with the same people regularly) is "Somewhere sandy, probably 2020?" Even this very small amount of detail is enough to prompt the "Well just tell me when my invite is coming".

    I call it an elopement occasionally but it's hard to do that when it's being this...planned. Feels weird. Should probably just stick to calling it a DW. (And no, it's not a PPD)
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Background: been together 11 years, engaged for almost 4, not getting married til Feb. 2020. Live in Utah so this is...hard for most people to understand.

    The only details people get (because they ask...a lot - I'm in corporate sales so there's a lot of social interaction with the same people regularly) is "Somewhere sandy, probably 2020?" Even this very small amount of detail is enough to prompt the "Well just tell me when my invite is coming".

    I call it an elopement occasionally but it's hard to do that when it's being this...planned. Feels weird. Should probably just stick to calling it a DW. (And no, it's not a PPD)
    The only response required to such a comment is a smile.

    Or, rather than give any details at all, simply say, "We've been engaged 4 years.  Clearly there is no rush."
    charlotte989875ahoyweddingeileenrob
  • Background: been together 11 years, engaged for almost 4, not getting married til Feb. 2020. Live in Utah so this is...hard for most people to understand.

    The only details people get (because they ask...a lot - I'm in corporate sales so there's a lot of social interaction with the same people regularly) is "Somewhere sandy, probably 2020?" Even this very small amount of detail is enough to prompt the "Well just tell me when my invite is coming".

    I call it an elopement occasionally but it's hard to do that when it's being this...planned. Feels weird. Should probably just stick to calling it a DW. (And no, it's not a PPD)
    “We haven’t made any decisions yet, we’re not in any rush”. 

    But really it doesnt sound like people are actually inviting themselves here, it just sounds like they’re making conversation. I’m assuming Utah weather is already cold and dreary (like here in Buffalo where we already got snow flurries last weekend) and it’s like “oh a beach vacation sounds great!” Not like they’re actually making plans to attend. 

    But if youre really eloping, or if you don’t want people to comment on your plans, stop telling them any plans. When they ask just defer and move on. I think you’re taking they’re comments too literally. 
    InLoveInQueensahoywedding
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    Background: been together 11 years, engaged for almost 4, not getting married til Feb. 2020. Live in Utah so this is...hard for most people to understand.

    The only details people get (because they ask...a lot - I'm in corporate sales so there's a lot of social interaction with the same people regularly) is "Somewhere sandy, probably 2020?" Even this very small amount of detail is enough to prompt the "Well just tell me when my invite is coming".

    I call it an elopement occasionally but it's hard to do that when it's being this...planned. Feels weird. Should probably just stick to calling it a DW. (And no, it's not a PPD)
    Why even tell them this? You're inviting conversation here. Just say we're going to do something with just the two of us and change the subject. 
    InLoveInQueensahoyweddingeileenrob
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Background: been together 11 years, engaged for almost 4, not getting married til Feb. 2020. Live in Utah so this is...hard for most people to understand.

    The only details people get (because they ask...a lot - I'm in corporate sales so there's a lot of social interaction with the same people regularly) is "Somewhere sandy, probably 2020?" Even this very small amount of detail is enough to prompt the "Well just tell me when my invite is coming".

    I call it an elopement occasionally but it's hard to do that when it's being this...planned. Feels weird. Should probably just stick to calling it a DW. (And no, it's not a PPD)
    Why even tell them this? You're inviting conversation here. Just say we're going to do something with just the two of us and change the subject
    Exactly this. You don't even need to tell them your plans. 

    ahoyweddingJen4948
  • People joke about getting an invitation when they really are just making conversation. Don't take them seriously, don't tell them where you are having your ceremony, and stop telling people you're getting married if you are truly eloping.

    But I don't think what you're planning is an elopement. It sounds like what you're really having is a family-only DW, so you could also tell them that.


    short+sassy
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards