Timing of ceremony & good time for pics

[Deleted User]

Hi,
so im trying to decide when to start my ceremony.  Wedding is on a Friday, Sept. 27, 2019.  Ceremony is same location as reception.  The goal/intention is
- to take group pics
- at least get B/G pics in the Golden hour
- there’s enough time to take all these pics before the ceremony
- that at the very least my bridal party gets a little bit of cocktail hour time.
- Us having 15 min of cocktail hour would be a plus.

My FH is insistent on not doing a first look so all pics with both of us would have to be taken after the ceremony. We intend to take pics of me and bridal party before the ceremony. Below is a pic of an excel spreadsheet I made with what I’m thinking.  I’d really appreciate any advice and even if you think I should change any of these options. THANKS!! 

MobKaz

I applaud you not inconveniencing your guests with a gap to accommodate photos.  Maybe because it's a Saturday, but I am laughing over here feeling a tad pervy wondering what in the world "golden hour" means!

[Deleted User]

LoL! 

WHAT IS THE GOLDEN HOUR?

The golden hour, sometimes called the "magic hour", is roughly the first hour of light after sunrise, and the last hour of light before sunset, although the exact duration varies between seasons. During these times the sun is low in the sky, producing a soft, diffused light which is much more flattering than the harsh midday sun that so many of us are used to shooting in.

ernursej

What are your guests doing between ceremony ending at 545 and cocktail beginning at 615 (or other time frames)? If everything is happening at the same place, your cocktail hour needs to start as soon as your ceremony is done.

Are your guests able to attend a wedding so early on a weekday? I say that as someone that did have a weekday wedding but ensured that the start time was late enough so that no one would have to leave early from work.

[Deleted User]

I guess there really isn’t anything to do in between so then I guess scenario C & E are definitely out. Well my wedding venue is an hour and a half from where most of my family & friends live. The only time to ensure that they could make it without leaving work early is if I had my ceremony at 7p. And that’s just way to late in my opinion and the sun would have gone down already too. The party would go til 1am. So I figured if they are going to leave early, I might as well set it for the time I want 4:30p. Does that make sense? 

ernursej

giglechk4u said:

I guess there really isn’t anything to do in between so then I guess scenario C & E are definitely out. Well my wedding venue is an hour and a half from where most of my family & friends live. The only time to ensure that they could make it without leaving work early is if I had my ceremony at 7p. And that’s just way to late in my opinion and the sun would have gone down already too. The party would go til 1am. So I figured if they are going to leave early, I might as well set it for the time I want 4:30p. Does that make sense? 

I think you are wise to get rid of scenarios C and E so that there is no gap. As a guest, it is annoying to have to cool my jets/go grab a drink at a random bar when there is a gap.

I think you need to have a frank discussion with your FI regarding doing a first look so that you can get your desired lighting without inconveniencing your guests by having them leave work early. I know that I couldn't leave work early without penalty. Also, if guests are 1.5 hours away, they are now leaving work at 230pm (at latest) which is more than just sneaking out a bit early. You need to reconsider this. I have friends working in a variety of industries and very few of them would be able to leave at 230pm without taking off at least half a day using vacation.

7pm is too late for an hour long ceremony with dinner to follow so I think you need to look at your ceremony length. Most civil ceremonies are much shorter. Is this a religious ceremony?

edit - I forgot to finish a thought!

ernursej

MobKaz said:

I applaud you not inconveniencing your guests with a gap to accommodate photos.  Maybe because it's a Saturday, but I am laughing over here feeling a tad pervy wondering what in the world "golden hour" means!

there is a gap with certain scenarios ...

MobKaz

ernursej said:

MobKaz said:

I applaud you not inconveniencing your guests with a gap to accommodate photos.  Maybe because it's a Saturday, but I am laughing over here feeling a tad pervy wondering what in the world "golden hour" means!

there is a gap with certain scenarios ...

I understand.  I was inferring that she should select one of the scenarios that does not include the gap.  Because 3 of the 5 did not include a gap, I was inclined to think OP was trying hard to work around a gap.

MyNameIsNot

I don't understand how 7 is too late. If people need to drive for an hour and a half to get there, that's reasonable. Then you can do your first look and WP photos from 5-6:45, and get in that nice light. 

An hour seems really long for a ceremony at the venue, but assuming there is some reason that is necessary, you could do an abbreviated cocktail hour since photos are already done, serve dinner at 8:30, then continue the party until midnight. 

Scheduling your ceremony in the middle of the work day is a huge inconvenience to your guests, and communicates that you don't really care whether they come or not. Unless your guests are primarily not employed in 9-5 jobs, having the ceremony at 4 means that a large number of guests will either decline or skip the ceremony. 

climbingsingle

I think a 4.:45 start time for a Friday wedding is too early. I don't think 7pm is too late, again, especially for a Friday wedding. Is your ceremony really going to take an hour??

STARMOON44

I don’t think you need to worry about the start time being early any more than you would need to worry about people who need to travel or people who work on Saturdays if you were having a weekend wedding. People will come or not and make arrangements as needed. I do think avoiding a gap is essential though. 

kahluakoala

I mean, there's a reason that Friday weddings are cheaper - and that's because they're inconvenient for many guests. I think most of your guests will have to take a half day off at least, just like I have to do when someone has a Sunday wedding and I will have to travel on a Monday. IMO the weekday wedding may be a way of passing on costs to guests, much like how some destination weddings are organized. That said, you're free to choose your choice and it's up to guests to decide how important it is to make it to the event. I think 4:45 is fine. But if the reception is at the same place as the ceremony you pretty much have to start serving refreshments right away. Even if the cocktail hour lasts like...an hour and 15 minutes you need to start serving right away or it's gonna be pretty lame for guests.

charlotte989875

So I got married on a Friday, but it was in the city most of our guests lived and the ceremony started at 6. 

If you’re doing a weeknight wedding you really should focus on what’s most important; getting married and the comfort of your guests. If that means doing a first look or limiting the time of photos during the “golden hour” then that may be what you need to do. 

I agree with others that 7 isn’t too late if people generally don’t have to work the next day. But since the ceremony and reception are in the same place you really need to start cocktail hour as soon as the ceremony is done. Your guests are traveling to the location, what are they going to do for half an hour?

ei34

The majority of the weddings I’ve attended have been Friday nights, 6:30ish ceremony with cocktails 7-8 and dinner and dancing 8-12.  So all of your start times strike me as early.  Maybe do all the photos beforehand?  Def agree with PP that there can’t be a gap between the end of the ceremony and start of cocktails, especially since it’s all one place.

ahoywedding

Did you run these schedule options by either your photographer or your venue coordinator? Both of them were very helpful when we were working out a timeline, because they had coordinated a ton more weddings than either H or I had. Our photographer initially wanted us to try and work in "golden hour" pics, but it just didn't fit with our timing, so we scrapped that option. Plus, she told me afterward that there's no guarantee that the lighting will be good, etc. 

I'm also questioning why the long ceremony if it's at your reception venue. Usually those ceremonies are much shorter, and you can start a little later. It is a little rude to expect people to leave work in time to get ready and then drive an hour and a half for a 4:45 start time. Once you invite guests, you need to consider their comfort and what you're asking of them as well. Your best option may be to do all of your pictures before the ceremony, and start the entire night a little bit later.